"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Monday, December 28, 2009

My Adorable Nephew

We had a really nice Christmas. My sister "Rae" and her husband "Pete" came to visit bringing my adorable nephew. He's pictured here wearing his favorite Christmas sweater.

Yes, that is his actual picture and no, you don't need new glasses. Okay, so technically he's not my nephew, but he's the closest thing I have and I love him to pieces. His name is Titus and he has the sweetest temperament and the greatest personality. Smart as anything too. No I'm not biased. What are you talking about?

About a month before Christmas Rae bought him the above sweater as a Christmas present, but when she got home she tried it on him to make sure it fit. It did, so she tucked it into the bottom of the bag where she keeps his treats and travel toys, etc.
The next day when she got home Titus was waiting for her in the living room with the sweater, pleading at her with puppy dog eyes to put it on. She said no, of course. After all it was his Christmas present and went to put it back in the bag. He had ignored the toys and the treats and dug the sweater out leaving everything else intact. She tucked it back in the bottom, put everything else on top and proceeded to start dinner.
A few minutes later he padded into the kitchen bearing the sweater and dropped it at her feet. At which point she caved (I know, she's a terrible mother :P). But honestly, he just loved it so much, how could you possibly resist a face like that?

So he was wearing it for Christmas as we all gathered to open presents. Last year Titus was excited about everything but this year he had it all figured out. There were goodies inside those wrapped packages and you just had to get through the paper to find the treats. Which he did quite adeptly as seen in this lovely video. (the music is Can't Believe It's Christmas from A Very Veggie Christmas. [I love Veggie Tales])

He so carefully pulls out the toys and doesn't eat the paper or anything. How adorable is that? The answer is VERY :)

Once he gets a toy, Titus' first mission is to make sure it is actually dead by de-stuffing it. The green thing I got him was called an "Unstuffable" meaning it had no stuffing. At least, the body didn't. Turned out the head had quite a bit..... (the music here is Christmasville Fanfare by Manheim Steamroller [love them too])

He is just cuter than a bug's ear. What a fun addition to our Christmas celebration. Of course, I can't wait for real nieces and nephews, but I'm telling you, Titus makes a great stand in until that happens.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas to all....

And to all a good night.

Hope yours was a blessed day :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Year of the Curséd Turkey

We like turkey. It tastes good :) (If you are an animal rights activist or a vegan, you may not want to read any further. Of course, after that opening line, you're probably leaving of your own accord.)
Every year my Dad cooks an absolutely delectable turkey with the best stuffing you have ever tasted. Seriously.
This year the turkeys decided to indulge in a little turkey-style revenge.

(This guy looks REALLY angry. I would never eat you. Honest. I promise! Please, stop staring!!!)

We had a turkey in the freezer, so my Dad decided we didn't need to buy our usual 30 pounder, but would settle for the 22 lb one that we already had.

The turkey sat, wrapped in its celophane jacket, slowly defrosting for our consumption pleasure. We had no idea what horrors lurked underneath.

Dad snipped open the wrapper and we discovered that the plastic was the only thing holding the bird together. The one leg swung wildly down out of its socket, pulling all of the skin away from the meat. Dad tried to pick it up and found that the backbone was broken as was the breastbone.
We managed to get it into a somewhat turkey looking shape and even managed to stuff it, though it took more nails and string than normal to hold it all together. It was looking pretty good. It had us fooled.

My Dad is one of those, slow-cook-the-turkey-all-night-long kind of guys and his turkeys always come out tender and juicy. The only downside for him is that he has to get up throughout the night to baste it. That's never been a problem before.

At about 7:30 I was abruptly awakened from slumber by a loud noise and a yelp. My body was instantly awake. However, my brain took several moments to process everything. This is how it went.

What was that?

It's 7:30.

Dad's probably basting the turkey.

That was a loud noise.

He doesn't yelp like that.


I bolted out of bed and ran upstairs.

Because of the mishapen state of our turkey we had to put it into a different pan than usual. Instead of foil, it has a metal lid. Dad pulled out the turkey and basted it, but when he tried to slide it back into the oven, the lid caught and tipped everything toward him.

The lid fell off onto the floor, neatly catching some of the juices and Dad caught the turkey and flipped it back into the pan, saving it and the stuffing. However, he got splattered with the boiling grease, which wasn't very fun.

Then we had the fun of mopping stuffing and grease off of the linoleum. But wait! There's more!

As the pan tipped, it dumped a lot of the juices and grease onto the stove door where it trickled down inside the door. When we closed the oven it rained down into the drawer under the stove onto the pots and pans stored there. So after mopping the kitchen, we then got to wash every single pan we own, including those fun broiler pans with all of the ridges and holes. Then there's the enjoyment of finding somewhere to store them while we clean grease and stuffing out of the bottom of the drawer and wait for it to dry.

Of course, now the greases are in the door itself, so we have to pull the door off the oven, take it outside, disassemble it, clean it, reassemble it and put it back onto the oven so we could cook the rest of dinner. Fortunately we have a little side oven that was not affected by the turkey disaster, so we were able to get a jump start on the few things that would fit in there.

Did this deter us from enjoying our Thanksgiving repast? Not a whit!

Mmmmm. Turkey. You may fight back, but we will eat you anyway. Just don't try anything next year.

(Can I come over to your house for Thanksgiving?)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


And no, that is not some strange word. But an exclamation of how a test can take over a person's life. It is now about 13 hours until I take the wondrous GRE and I am trying not to worry myself over it. Trying.

Since I graduated from college I have found myself floundering a bit, unsure where I should go next and what career path I should take. I returned to retail, working as a supervisor at Borders and, though I love my job, it is obvious to me that retail is not my calling and will not be my career.

I trifled with several different ideas: editing, graphic design, teaching, information sciences - but nothing fit, nothing felt right.

Until I had one of those wonderful "duh!" moments, when the world suddenly seems to shift into place and you wonder why on earth it took you so long to realize the obvious. I have a passion for English and literature in particular and I love passing that passion on to others. And so I am taking the first step forward.

Taking the GRE. I have studied and studied and looked at math until my eyes crossed and I am feeling fairly confident that I have done all I could to prepare. There are only so many new words you can stuff into your brain in a fairly short amount of time and the math, well, let's just say that another couple months wouldn't make much of a difference there.

I am nervous, yes, but mainly excited to be moving forward at long last. After the GRE comes grad school applications and all the other fun stuff, but for now I'm going to just enjoy this moment of queasy anticipation.

and then get some rest.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Ladybugs of Doom

Yesterday I was sitting in church, listening to the opening prayer and minding my own business when, out of nowhere, this ladybug dive bombs me from the ceiling and attacks my shoulder.
I, naturally, jump halfway out of my skin and flick it off.

The ladybug flies across a couple empty seat and lands on one of my friends. It is now her turn to jump halfway out of her skin. The evil ladybug ricochets off of her and lands on the seat next to her.
So she turns (rather frantically) to try to figure out where the hey the stupid thing went. Sure ladybugs are not dangerous, but I for one, don't want one, say, crawling up my shirt or into my hair.

With a swift movement she captures the ladybug and holds it carefully between two cupped hands, waiting impatiently for the prayer to end. As soon as it does she quicksteps it to the door where she releases the little bugger to continue its flight of doom on other unsuspecting humans.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


I have officially signed up for my very first NaNoWriMo. For the uninitiated, that stands for National Novel Writing Month. Basically it's a non-profit organization that holds a one month writing exercise. During the month of November you are challenged to write 50,000 words. If you do, you win. If you don't, at least you tried.

What do you win, you might ask? Well, I'm so glad you did. You win..... a novel! Or at least a good start to one. And experience. And satisfaction. And that good ole fuzzy feeling.

I've been writing seriously since I was about 12. Do I think I'll ever get published? I hope so, but it's not something that I have this super huge drive on right now. I just think that this will be a good experience for me. It's all about just writing, rather than editing and being perfectionistic - two things I struggle with when I write. It's not saying, don't edit, it's just saying right now see where the story leads you.

My sister and a good friend at work are also doing it so we can encourage each other and keep each other on track.

There are a ton of resources on their website - fun ways to connect with other writers, idea generators, word wars, writing prompts, all kinds of fun things. You can check out their site if you're interested...


And if you want, join me - it's an international event. If you do join, drop me a line so we can be writing buddies - my name is the same as it is here... sonshinemusic.

And if you want to be an annoyance drop me a line asking me how I'm doing during the month of November. :) I'll either be excited or really irritated (now there's incentive for you) but probably glad that someone read this :P

Friday, October 23, 2009

Car Conversations

We just took a quick mini vacation to visit some friends in Virginia. More on that later if I feel like it :P Here is a brief look at the conversations we had while leaving our house at 4am...

Dad: How do you tell how many points a buck has? Is it total? Or just on one side?
Dave: It's 1/2 divided by 4 + 3.

Dave: Oh no! I forgot to take Bonine (like Dramamine, but like, a trillion times better [and no, they don't pay me to say that])! What if I dream that I'm reading?!
Dad: Dream that you took Bonine.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


These are the kinds of conversations that my family has. All the time.

AchingHope: Oh look! They have their Christmas Flakes up!

Me: Their what?!
AH: Christmas Flakes. What else would you call them?
Me: Ummmm..... Snow Flakes?
AH: Pssshhhttt! Why would you call them that.
Me: Maybe because their flakes ... made out of snow.
AH: Shut up.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

So Bite Me

I'll admit I've become a bit of a vampire fan.

And I'll admit it all started with Twilight.

I'll even admit that I like the books and the movie (though I'm certainly not obsessed with them)

And I'll admit right here to the chagrin of many Twilight lovers that I am firmly on Team Jacob. However, I also loved the way Breaking Dawn went. Figure that one out :P

I've read PC and Kristin Cast's House of Night novels, Melissa De La Cruz's Blue Bloods Series and a couple of Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books.

So what's next? Vampire Diaries.

I haven't read the books yet, but I thought I'd see what the show was all about. It looked interesting. The first episode was okay enough to bring me back for #2. That one was all right, but then I let it slip for a week. (I've been watching them online, because my schedule won't allow me to catch it on TV) It was all right and I was enjoying it, but it wasn't really compelling. They were a little over the top with making Stefan too much like Edward - from the movie. Certain angles, the way they had his hair, some of his expressions. I found it annoying. And there wasn't a whole lot going on other than high school drama. Nothing to make it really stand out.

The other night I wanted a little diversion, so I thought I would go ahead and catch up.

The third episode things were getting a little more interesting. Not as much in the vampire department, but I was really getting intrigued by Elena's friend, Bonnie, and her emerging powers. And I was really beginning to enjoy Ian Somerhalder's portrayal of Damon. I was never really a big fan of him as Boone. I don't know, just never quite did it for me, but I am loving him as Damon. You can tell he is having the time of his life, too. He loves playing the part and the performance is flawless and oh so fun.

But then came the end of the fourth episode and I was left with my jaw hanging. Spoiler warning!

To find out that there's this group of people who have been warned to watch for the return of the vampires and that Elena's parents were apparently part of it! Definitely much more interesting. It also raised a bunch of questions and thought that I now cannot wait to see them play with over the course of the show.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Free Association

I don't know if it's because I'm bored, sick or both, but I am in the mood for some randomness. One of the funniest things I've seen on someone's blog was Blam's free association in connection to Lost. http://blamken.blogspot.com/2009/04/norse-code.html

So I decided to do one of my own. It has nothing to do with anything. Just for fun. So let's see where I can get in 20 jumps. I only took one dose of NyQuil. Honest.

I will start by closing my eyes and typing something into the search engine.

1. F

2. Fandango

3. Movies

4. Luuuucy!!!!!
5. Lucy and Linus
6. Peanuts 7. Elephant 8. Mouse (someone please tell me where the idea that elephants are afraid of mice came from?)9. Wireless 10. Cell Phone (whoa! I had no idea something like this existed! What on earth?! It's called "cellphone with security") 11. Security 12. Yeoman Warder

13. Facebook (this may seem like a strange jump, but when my sister and I visited the Tower of London, our Yeoman Warder tour guide was hysterical and at one point [to make a long story short] stated that he was on Facebook.)

14. College (when I started my Facebook account)
15. Study (cause I was one of those weird college people that actually went to school to learn and, even worse, actually liked writing papers and doing research) 16. Clue 17. Mustard (sweet muffins! I'm getting my dad this grill cover for Father's Day!)
18. Duncan the Donut (from The Donut Man - ah childhood memories. He did a skit dressed up as a mustard tree) 19. Holes 20. Shia LaBeouf
Well, that was interesting. And random. But I ended with one of my favorite actors and it also brought me full circle because his name ends with the letter "F"! Woot!

Castle 2.02 "The Double Down"

This show just keeps getting better. I love it.

Favorite lines:

Castle: "I'm just saying whoever killed her also murdered the English language."

Castle: "What a coincidence"

Beckett: "Hundred bucks on our side."

Favorite moments:

Everyone straining to look at the board because they're all in on the bet while Beckett is trying to figure out what's going on.

Beckett finally opening up about some of her feelings over her mother's death.... and how Castle managed to not say a word though you could tell it took an effort

Castle thinking that his mother was really attacking Alexis and dropping his keys all over. HA!

I know I had more, but I didn't keep notes so I can't remember them. Next episode.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

How May I Help You?

Somehow, when you work in a bookstore, people come to see you, not as a regular human being, but as some sort of conglomeration of encyclopedia/ computer/ therapist/ confidante/ summarizer/ judge/ magician. I do not know why this is, but it is.
Let me illustrate with some brief, and most importantly REAL scenarios (or based on real scenarios) that I or my coworkers have lived through. Some are funny, some are sad, some are down right WEIRD.

(note: any and all books I may or may not mention are only for illustrative purposes and I am not recommending/reviewing or otherwise supporting any of the said listed books)

Man: (Rushes through store to information desk, gasping for breath.) I have a strange question for you. What is the name of the doctor that works with Beaker, you know, the muppet that just meeps?

Me: (trying not to laugh) I don't really know.

Man: Well can you look it up somewhere?

I find a book in Self Help written by Kermit the Frog and find the name (which is Honeydew, by the way, Bunsen Honeydew). Customer thanks me and races back out of the store without buying ANYTHING.

Lady: Excuse me, do you have "Falcon at the Portal"?

Me: Let me just look it up.

Lady: (huffs in exasperation) Well, just tell me where it would be.

Me: I don't know. I'm not familiar with that title. Let me check.

Lady: Well, the author's incredibly popular and sells a lot of books. I'm sure you have them.

Lady: I'm sorry, I'm kind of out of it. My sister died yesterday, so I'm just trying to figure things out.

Little Old Lady: Could you please tell me where the books on the Kama Sutra are? My husband is too embarrassed to ask, but we're looking for something to spice things up a little.

Me: TMI!!!

Teenage Boy: Out of these five books on my summer reading list, which one is shortest, but also interesting so it will keep my attention and what are they all about?

Me: Would you like me to write your paper for you too?

Man: I'm looking for books on indoor gardening.

Me: Let me see what the computer says we have. (scroll through several pages) It doesn't look like we have anything in stock.

Man: No, I saw something a couple pages back (points at book on hydroponic marijuana)

Me: (in calm, even, bored tone) Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was what you were looking for. (Yes, we sell books on this. I just show people to the books, that's all)

Man: (snaps) No comments, please, just show me to the section.

Lady: I was in here last April and you had a book on a table in the front of the store that looked really interesting. It had a blue cover and was written by a woman and I think it was $24.95. Do you know the book I'm talking about?

If there is one thing true about my job, it is that I am NEVER bored. Ever.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Organ-ized Internet Searching

My brothers both love music. My older younger brother, "Joe", is in a band that is slowly gaining a hearing in the area. They've gotten a chance to do open mikes, hold some cheap group concerts and have been invited to play at some local places.

My younger younger brother, "Dave", is also in a band with some of his friends.

Between the two of them we never know what instruments are going to be coming into the house next... A bass, a harmonica (actually several in different keys), a keyboard, a trombone, an accordion, a sax - you name it, we'll probably be getting it or already have it.

So "Dave" decided that if he rearranged his room, got rid of the wardrobe and moved his dresser, he would have room for, yes, an organ.

So he's spent the last several days looking for one online.

Mom, Dad, my sister and I were watching StarGate Atlantis (woot!) and Dave was trying to find an organ. He pops his head in the room. "We're going to West Virginia sometime soon, right?" Um no. So apparently someone in the mountains of West Virginia, where there is one road and fewer houses, is selling an organ for $25 if you'll come pick it up. Yeah right.

He comes back a few minutes later. "Someone's giving away a hospital bed that moves up and down! (imitates bed movements)"

Back a few minutes later. "There's a church about 45 minutes away that got a new organ and so they're giving away their old one!"

Enter my evil pun brain..... "So would they be considered an organ donor?"

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Castle is Back!!!!!!!!!

Yeah! I just bought the first season on DVD so I can share it with my family and now the new season has begun! SO glad this show didn't get dumped after 1 season. I was scared since there was so little buzz about it. Hopefully it gets picked up more this season - Monk is almost over and this could fill that murder/comedy slot.

Last season ended with an emotional cliffhanger rather than a physical one and it was much more fitting to the first season.

Now on to season 2: Deep in Death. - SPOILERS AHEAD!

Favorite Quotes::
"I could buy you a pony!"

"Be my usual charming self"
"What about plan b?"

"Somebody hated his guts." (after discovering that the organs had been harvested from the body)

Nathan Fillion is brilliant in this episode, straying from the constant wise guy attitude from season 1, he shows his concern for what he's done to Beckett while still throwing out those hysterical one liners that help make the show what it is. As much fun as season 1 was, this episode set the stage for an even better second season. Fillion adds depth to Castle's character that will help to enhance, not only the show, but also the interaction between him and Beckett.

I also love (as always) the interaction between him and his daughter. The relationship is sweet and almost, but not quite, turned on its head. She is a grounded, steady girl who helps bring stability into his life and helps him to be a little more grounded than he would without her anchor in his life. And of course, she always manages to say the right thing to show him what he's missed. The nice thing is that she usually isn't talking about his situation, but Castle is open enough to see the truth in what she says and to realize how it impacts him and then do something about it. Castle may be a tad dense (what man isn't, especially when it comes to women? :P) but he certainly isn't slow or stupid.

two thumbs up and I can't wait for the next episode!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Emmy Update #3


LOST lost.

I have no more words. It's just too upsetting

Emmy Update #2


Darlton lost :(

I've heard Mad Men is good, but I don't watch it and I wanted Darlton to take it. They totally deserved it.

So sad.

Emmy update #1


Michael Emerson just won for best supporting actor. He TOTALLY and COMPLETELY deserved it. When it came on, my sister and I were chanting "Em-er-son, Em-er-son" as if that would help him to win. Then when he won we squealed so loudly that our Mom came running down the stairs to see what was going on.

And yahoo for the Dr. Horrible cut in - funniest thing so far! So glad I just saw that or I would have been so confused instead of laughing like crazy.

More to come if anything else exciting happens.

P.S. Still so VERY ticked that SYTYCD was overlooked for best reality tv show. Way better than any of those other ones out there - and please tell my how Cat Deeley didn't even warrant a NOMINATION!?!?! What is wrong with these people?!

Bathroom Humor

this has nothing whatsoever to do with anything tv, movie or Lost, but I shall share anyhoo.

This story happened a couple of years ago, but my Dad brought it up today, so I thought it would be funny to share.

I was getting ready for work one lazy Friday morning. I went into the bathroom to, well, you know, and brush my teeth and stuff and when I went to open the door it wouldn't.

I hadn't locked it (in fact, I don't think anyone ever locks it). But it would not open. It just wouldn't.

Everyone was just getting up, so they heard my cries for help quite quickly.

Dad decides that we are going to have to take the doorknob off. We do. There is now a hole where the doorknob used to be. Still the door will not open - for no apparent reason.

At this point I am laughing almost helplessly. My sister is talking about how they can at least pass food through the hole and I have all the water I could need.

The only recourse is to take the door off its hinges. The hinges are, of course, on the INSIDE of the door. So pliers and screwdriver get passed through the hole to me.

Also of course, the hinges are painted closed. I must bang on them with the screwdriver and pliers for a while.

Eventually I pull the pins out. But the paint is still holding the door onto the hinges. I have to step into the shower so that Dad can pound the door down.

That was an interesting day.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My LOST wish list

A while ago, Nikki had posted about a LOST auction that is going to take place over on www.profilesinhistory.com. So I signed up to get updates from them, even though I will probably never buy a thing.

Today I went over to check out some stuff and they had a list of some of the items that will be being auctioned off!!!!!!!!!! Oh, man, do I want some of this stuff.

So here's my "wish list" of the items they have listed so far that I am dying to have.

1. Sawyer's copy of Watership Down. Oh, yes, please!

2. Ben's "Dean Moriarty" passports

3. Sawyer's reading glasses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Sawyer's letter of vengeance (again) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Penny's letter written to Desmond that he finds in the book

::swoon:: Not that any of these things would ever be remotely within my price range, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Great SYTYCD News!

I just found out that Adam Shankman has been added as a permanent judge for S6 of SYTYCD!

This is very exciting news. He has always been my favorite guest judge. He makes the most useful comments, he's hysterical and he has the best connection with Nigel and Mary. The three of them crack me up every time they're together.

Just one more reason for me to Lurv this show!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

TV Addict

I'm trying to figure out when I became such a big TV addict!

Was it LOST? I think that was a big part of it - never before was there a show where I HAD to absolutely positively catch every single episode as quickly as possible.

Was it with the advent of streaming internet video? - Also a big part of it. I can follow shows even when I can't catch them on tv.

Was it Nikki Stafford? Yes, I would have to say that she was probably the biggest reason I have become a TV addict. Thanks a lot Nikki :P

Whether it's old TV shows like The Prisoner or Get Smart or The Cosby Show (things I get on DVD) or current shows I am lamenting my inability to watch I have become a TV addict and it totally snuck up on me.

I didn't realize how far this had gone until I jotted down the list of all of the shows I *have* to watch this season.

Monday is Castle (which I watch online since I work every Monday night)
House is also on Mondays. We'd stopped watching this when it just got too crude, but the previews of this new season with him in the asylum (or whatever you want to call it) just looks interesting. Maybe I'll catch that online, too.

Tuesday and Wednesday it's So You Think You Can Dance - a must watch for many reasons (not the least of which is I am really, really, really rooting for Ryan Kasprzak to at least make top 20)

But we have to record SYTYCD because Tuesday is also NCIS and now NCIS: Los Angeles (both of which are family addictions)

Wednesday is Glee (but I catch that online)

Thursday is The Vampire Diaries (which I wasn't going to watch, but now think I'll do the online thing, because the first episode kind of caught me. grrrr)
Thursday is also The Mentalist, but that one won't be a "it's the end of the world if I miss it" one. I like to see it when I can, but don't know if I'll make it this season.

And then Friday, I thought they had finished Numb3rs off, but it's in the list of season premiers for the end of September. I'm super excited if it is, because I love the characters on that show. I'm just surprised, because I thought they had kind of wrapped up all of the loose ends.

So the only good thing about all of this is that LOST doesn't start until January. Thank goodness.

At least with a VCR and online access I can watch it all on my schedule, when I have time. But we seriously need to consider TiVo.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Early Lost Reactions

I was going through some stuff on my old computer and I found this whole thing I had written up when I first got addicted to Lost. This was in March of 2008. I was borrowing the first 2 seasons from a friend and had just bought season 3, though I hadn't started it yet. So I was almost done with Season 2 and my sister was about half way through. I only had the tiniest inkling of what I was about to get myself into. I thought it was interesting, so I thought I'd post it, for what it's worth... :)

Lost is a fantastically written, woven, crafted piece of TV work and I am quite immpressed. They seem to know just exactly how much information to give you to keep you interested without giving too much away. And you really invest in the characters.

You want to know what happened to turn Charlie from the responsible brother into the addict, you are dying to find out how Locke got paralyzed. You feel for Jack when his wife leaves him, you wonder what hardened Kate so much. You shake your head over Sawyer and want to know how he can be so full of contradictions. You want Jin to learn English and are happy when you see the love being rebuilt between him and Sun. You hope against everything that Walt and Michael are still okay, you love Hurley and are rooting for him and Libby. You mourn Shannon's senseless death and wonder what is going to happen to Sayid now. You want to know where the rest of the Tailies were taken and why the Others seem so obsessed with the children. You love little Aaron and are curious what was done to Claire when she was kidnapped and want to know what the sickness is that she and Rousseau and the Others are talking about.

You wonder what on earth happened to Desmond, because surely he hasn't left the Island. You marvel over all of the coincidences that connect all of the characters and you realize that it would be true to life. Maybe it's a little exaggerated because it is a TV show after all, but there would be a lot of connections.

You also wonder what the button is and if things really would go terribly wrong if those numbers weren't entered in on time. What is the Dharma Initiative and why did they have all of these random experiments going on and why is it abandoned, yet not? Are there more missing pieces for the orientation video and if so, where are they? So many, many questions.

So there you have it. Most of my thoughts have remained the same for the rewatch, though it seems that I have shifted minorly on some of the characters (e.g. Michael can be dead for once and for all. Please don't bring him back).
Some of these questions have been answered, but a lot have not - not to mention all of the new ones that have been raised!

Ah Lost. My escape from reality :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

I so loved this DVD.

I missed the whole internet release, not having had regular internet access when it came out, but I am so glad to have discovered it now.

The music on this show is absolutely incredible. It WILL get stuck in your head. The harmonies are gorgeous and the actors have voices that blew me away, especially Neil Patrick Harris. The song "My Eyes" with Penny and Dr. Horrible gives me chills from the harmony.

The soundtrack so goes on my wish list.

The story line is unpredictable, hilarious and heartbreaking all at the same time.

It has some amazingly hysterical lines, but has heart, too.

Seriously, if you have missed this, you are missing genius. I loved it.

Joss Whedon

Joss Whedon has completely won me over now. I haven't seen much of his work before, but I've been inundated in the last couple of weeks and he's a genius.

It all started with Castle - the tv show about the writer who teams up with the cop to solve crimes (yes I realize Whedon had nothing to do with that, just wait, I'll get there). In watching that I fell in love with Nathan Fillion.

My friend, Claire, was unpacking DVD boxes at work and came across Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog and it had Nathan Fillion, so we were both like, we have to watch this!

Then she told me she was going to let me borrow Firefly so I could become obsessed with it too and mourn over its far too short run with her.

So she brought Dr. Horrible over for a movie night and we watched it. And died laughing. And got the songs stuck in our heads.

Now my sister and I are watching Firefly and adoring it. And my sister has started watching Buffy and, although I haven't had time to watch it yet, I know I'm going to get hooked on it next.

It really is a Joss Whedon world after all.....

Sunday, August 23, 2009

You Know Your Life Will Never be the Same Because of Lost.....

....when you round the corner in a store and nearly stumble backwards because you see someone that resembles Ethan. I had to physically stop myself from flinching away from him. He had Ethan's face (other than that he looked nothing like him, but it was enough). Creepy.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dear Jacob

I have been pining after this girl for years now. We finally got together, but then she started getting on my case about my drinking habits and sleeping pill usage (It's a legitimate prescription!) Meanwhile, she kept secrets from me and kept running errands for an old flame of hers. She broke off our engagement and kicked me out, but I still love her.
Now I have the chance to reset time and start over with her. Of course, we could all end up dead, or she could end up being incarcerated for life while I'll have to relive the painful death of my father. Do you think I should detonate the bomb or just get on with my life?

Confused and Weepy

What Hooked You on Lost?

I managed to make two Lost converts so far this summer.

Out of curiousity I asked one of them what was the thing that really hooked him. He said that one of the many things was the episode where we get the first part of the story about Sawyer and his letter.

So I have a question for any of you Lost fanatics who may have stumbled across this (or found it deliberately)----- What was the scene that hooked you? When did you realize that this was one of the greatest shows EVER?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

What SYTYCD will do to you

I walk around the store all day long choreographing dances to all the overhead music in my head. And yes, I admit it, I take a couple of steps myself even though I have no training whatsoever.

I am SO dying to take dance lessons now.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

You Know Lost has Eaten Your Life When.....

Your favorite actor is Michael Emerson.

Your favorite composer is Michael Giacchino.

Your favorite tv writers are Darlton.

You're considering watching the Emmys for the first time ever simply because Lost got nominated.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

You know you're Lost obsessed when....

You see a license plate with the letters AJR and your mind fills in the blanks to make it AJIRA :)

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Not for myself, but for my favorite blogger of all time, Nikki Stafford. If you want to vote for her, because you love her as much as I do then click on the link below, sign in and vote :)
This is for Best Pop Culture Blog...

My site was nominated for Best Pop Culture Blog!

This is for Best Entertainment Blog...

My site was nominated for Best Entertainment Blog!

And This is for Best Blog About Stuff...

My site was nominated for Best Blog About Stuff!

So show your support and vote!

Oh, and you can also vote for The Ack Attack for Best Humor Blog while you're there!

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

Friday, July 24, 2009

You know you're a Lost fanatic when...

...You see a LP collection at your Grandma's house called The Best of Patsy Cline and you immediately think... KATE!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Harry Potter at midnight...what could be better?

I wasn't planning on going to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on opening night. I figured my sister, Mom and I would make it some time in the first week or two. But then I was at work and a couple of people were talking about going together and it just kept snowballing, until a whole group of us ended up deciding to go!

So, some of us had to work until 11, but the theatre is just down at the other end of the mall, so it wasn't a problem. My sister came and joined us and we had so much fun.

The movie was great - they left SOOOOOOOOOO much out, but that's been true about pretty much every movie, getting consistently worse with each one. They're good movies, but leave so freakin' much out. It's a good thing they're breaking the last one up into two, because there are a number of things in that book that I will throw a fit if they don't include them.

Okay SPOILER ALERT! Not too serious... I'm not going into great detail, but just mentioning the things I really liked and the things I was most disappointed with and it may give away some things you don't want to know if you haven't seen it.

How happy was I that they showed Fred and George's shop!? I was afraid they would have cut it. Not enough info, but I loved seeing it.

We've been going through a big renovation at work and a couple of my coworkers and I have been joking about needing Harry and Hermione to help get everything into their new places - then Dumbledore fixed up that entire house with a wave of his wand and Claire and I were like, Oh! All we need is Dumbledore!

I loved the drunk scene with Hagrid and Slugworth. Ha! In fact, the whole scene with Harry on the lucky potion cracked me up.

Not enough info about Riddle. Not nearly enough! My sister and I are hoping that maybe Dumbledore will leave Harry his pensieve and the memories and maybe that's what will drive Harry, Hermione and Ron as they apparate around all over the place later.

Dumbledore's death was sad, but I didn't cry until everyone lifted up their wands. Then I was trying not to sob and shake the whole row of seats. I don't think I was successful. :)

HOW COULD THEY NOT HAVE DUMBLEDORE'S FUNERAL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? Fawkes bursts into flames on top of the grave! He doesn't go flying into the sunset?! And, the spell from Snape's wand when he said the Avada Kedavra spell was totally red, not green (really minor nitpick here, but I have my reasons).

AND still NO house elves! If Dobby and Kreacher are not brought back in the last movies I will throw something at the screen. Then I will march right over to whoever put it together and smack them good. I love the house elves and they are absolutely KEY to the last book! So HOW, tell me, HOW, could they NOT have them like at all?!

Okay, all whining aside.... I love the movie. Yeah for Quidditch back, yeah for the bird spell Hermione did. Ha! Very well put together and very enjoyable.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Vincent: Dog or Dead?

I had noticed it before, but never really taken note. When Jack, Kate and Charlie head off to find the cockpit, Vincent is watching them from the bushes. The way the camera pulls back and the music make this a fairly creepy moment and I wondered why they put such a focus on this.

Then I began to wonder, is Vincent really Vincent anymore? Or perhaps, is he sort of reanimated the way Christian seems to be?

In one of the Mobisodes on the Season 4 DVD set Christian and Vincent are together and Christian says something to the effect of, "Go wake up my son. He has work to do." So, if you will accept this as canon, there is a connection between the two of them.

Nikki has a whole sidebar in one of her Finding Lost books about Vincent as the dog of doom. He certainly gets himself connected to many of the happenings on the Island.

Vincent often acts in a very purposeful way. It seems very odd to me that after the crash he takes so long to find his way back to people. He is in the bushes, he is nearby, yet he doesn't do anything to find his master, Walt. For such a friendly dog, he simply watches Kate, Charlie and Jack, he doesn't bound up to meet them as I would think to be more natural. It is almost as though he is biding his time.

We don't know all the rules about life and death on this Island yet, and I will have to continue to keep this in mind as I rewatch, but for now, I definitely have my doubts as to what Vincent really is.

Feet, feet, marvelous feet... take 1

Last season my sister pointed out the fact that Lost seems to have some sort of foot or shoe obsession. As we were rewatching the first couple of episodes I noticed that this seems to have been true since the beginning. So I shall chronicle all of the foot/shoe references as we go....

1.1 "The Pilot Part 1"
- Christian's white shoe in the tree at the very beginning.
- The emphasis on Kate taking off the dead passenger's hiking
1.2 "The Pilot Part 2"
- When Sawyer accuses Sayid and they are fighting, Sawyer says, "If the shoe fits."

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The rewatch begins!

Nikki won't be posting anything up until Thursday and I am SO not trying to steal any of her thunder, so anything I post here, I will probably put in some form over there as well, to reach a wider audience.

But I think I'm going to do a random episode recap of the things I noticed and commented on or that my sister pointed out.

So here goes..... 1.1 "The Pilot Part 1"

Hurley: "Dude, I'm not going anywhere." How ironic, because they really aren't going anywhere - literally - for a very long time.

Kate: "I made the drapes in my apartment."

Jack's "fear story". I love the fact that we know the truth about it now and that he was really a big wimp and Christian saved him and everything. At this juncture you're led to believe that Jack is this heroic figure - and not that he doesn't do a lot of things to help and save people and is heroic on the Island - but he really has some deep issues that we won't discover for a long time.

Also the point that Kate and Jack start off their relationship by lying to each other - quite representative of things to come.

Ha! Kate says, "I saw smoke in the valley" when she's talking about the cockpit, but right after that is when they hear Old Smokey for the first time.

On the plane, when Jack is takling to Rose and the turbulence starts, there is a groaning and a clicking sound very much like Smokey and the cabin flashes dark giving it this dark, smokeyish appearance.

Then in the next scene, Rose and others are talking on the beach and Rose says that the sound of the monster is really familiar? Could Smokey have taken down the plane? More on this in a separate post.

Why did the smoke monster go after the pilot so violentle? Had they just not worked out the specifics of how Smokey was working? Or was there a reason? Or does it really not matter and I'm just wondering because Lost is Lost and there MUST be a reason behind EVERYTHING! :D lol!

1.2 "The Pilot Part 2"

Charlie kind of comes off as a womanizer in this first episode - talking and kind of flirting with Kate and then being googly eyes with Shannon.

This was kind of a Duh! thing that I had kind of noticed, but not really thought about - Jin's father is a fisherman. That's why he knows so much about fish and which urchins are okay to eat and how to prepare them and everything.

Sayid: "Some people have problems." HA! Like everyone that crashed on the Island!

Sayid is one of the few who is completely up front and honest about who he is and what he's done. He openly admits to being in the Republican Guard, admits to being a torturer. I think the big thing for him is that he knows he's done what he's done and he can't change that, but he has an honest desire to change and leave all that behind - it's hard to do that and it doesn't work much of the time - but he does regret it. He doesn't have to hide or lie because he truly desires to change.

The marshal is one person I actually physically hate on this show.

Why does Kate go and ask for Jack's permission to go on the hike!

Sawyer: "I'm a complex guy, sweetheart." Truer words were never spoken :) Ah Sawyer :)

LOL! Jack is looking for a knife or a blade in a suitcase. Too bad he didn't find Locke's! And why didn't Locke volunteer one of his? Had he not found it yet? Or did he not know Jack was looking for it?

Sawyer: "Probably bear village" Ha! Because later Sawyer gets imprisoned in bear village!

Sawyer: "Sure, I'll be the prisoner, what part do you want to play?" The really all do have a part to play. The con man, the liar, the fugitive, the hunter, the fixer, etc.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The most exciting game of mini golf

I have made my YouTube debut.

What do you think?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

TV ate my life

Okay, not really, but I do find myself connecting random things to tv shows I have watched.

The first happened two weekends ago when I went with a group of ladies to Women of Faith in Connecticut.

What does that have to do with tv, you may well ask. Well, we went to the pre-conference on Friday and one of the speakers was the fabulous Marilyn Meberg.

Here's a picture I took of her. Ten points to anyone who knows why I immediately thought of a tv show when I saw her. (Actually it should be more like 100 points, because it's so random)

So, did anyone guess "The Prisoner"?

I know, I know, the tailoring isn't quite right on the jacket, but it still reminded me of Number 6's perrenial tailored jacket.

For those of you completely lost, The Prisoner was a British tv show from the 60's that I got hooked on thanks to Nikki and the others over on her blog.

You think that's random, wait for the next one.

My Dad is preaching through Matthew and got to 5:21, which says, "The Ancients said, 'You shall not murder'"

And you immediately understand where I'm going with this. Trust me, you have no idea, and if you do, you deserve 10,000 points.

My brain immediately went, the Ancients. Haha. They built the Stargates. Haha.

Yeah, I'm a dork and weird, too.

Friday, June 5, 2009


We always make a point to go see the newest Pixar wonder and Up was no exception. The movie was beautiful.

Sure it was funny - down right hysterical at times - but it was so much more than that.

The first ten minutes or so alone made up a movie in their own right and I would have left satisfied after just that segment. Any movie that can make me laugh and then cry within the first 10-15 minutes deserves major kudos.

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. Trailers are often misleading and vague. Up delivered more than I anticipated. The characters were so well drawn that I completely sympathized with them. And the world was so well developed that I had no trouble buying into the fact that a house could be carried away by helium balloons and guided by curtains and bed sheets.

The music was amazing too and I had such a squee moment when I saw it was done by Michael Giacchino. That man is a genius. As my sister said, from the first two notes he set the tone of the movie. There was a definite "Ellie" theme that conjured the perfect emotions throughout.

Please, treat yourself to this movie. It's not just a kid's movie. "Up" is a movie for adventurers, lovers, and dreamers.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Free Lost Stuff?!

Yes, that's right... One of the other bloggers on Nikki's sight is doing a giveaway to spike interest in her site. Her stuff is so cool, so I figured I'd post it here. Always like to boost up a fellow Lostie :0)

Here's the link if you want to check it out:

Shannon Hale Rocks!

The highlight of my trip to BEA was getting to meet Shannon Hale. My sister and I discovered her books a long time ago. Her books have a wonderful fairy tale feel without being retold tales. She was signing advance reader copies of the fourth book in her Books of Bayern series. The first three were so enjoyable and I cannot wait to get into the new one.

The best thing, though, was actually getting to meet her. We spent so much time at the Bloomsbury booth that the woman who was working at the booth and also at the signing recognized us and started teasing us about hanging around their booth for so long and praising Shannon Hale to ridiculous heights.

So Shannon was joking and laughing with the three of us and signed wonderfully personal messages for both me and for my sister.

She's the kind of person that I just wanted to sit down and have a cup of tea with and chat about books forever. It's so nice when someone whose work you have respected and enjoys ends up being so wonderful and personable.

If you haven't read anything by her and you are interested at all in good fantasy, please do yourself a favor and pick up The Goose Girl, or The Book of 1,000 Days, or (for you graphic novel lovers) Rapunzel's Revenge, which was absolutely fantastic!


At the very last minute I was able to go the the BEA (Book Expo America) this Friday with two of my co-workers. It was so much fun. We got a ton of ARCs and giveaways. My shoulders are so ridiculously sore from lugging around multiple tote bags of books all day long. It was such a fun day getting to spend time together outside of the store.

Friday was their Young Adult focus day and we got to meet a bunch of authors to have books signed, including Melissa Marr (signing her newest book Fragile Eternity), Trenton Lee Stewart (signing a boxed set of his first two Mysterious Benedict Society books) and Shannon Hale (signing ARCs of her newest Books of Bayern Forest Born).

Also got to meet Debbie Macomber, L. S. Linnea and a number of other people that I didn't know, but whose books looked really interesting.

Our absolutely favorite booth was for Bloomsbury. All of the people there were so friendly and talkative and just loved books so much. We ended talking with one of them for like 15 minutes just reveling in our love for books, particularly young adult and independent reader books.

I came home with a whole suitcase of books and now I'm faced with my ever growing question of ... where on earth do I put all of these books? I'm running out of floor space (I ran out of shelf space a very long time ago.) It's great working in a bookstore, but it can be extremely hazardous when you are a bibliophile.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Star Trek: the New Frontier

I finally got a chance to go see Star Trek - and then I got to go see it again 2 days later! Crazy. My sister was mad that my parents and I went without her, so she and I went Sunday.

So funny - when we went on Friday, my parents and I were the ONLY ones in the theatre. It was sweet. We got to comment and laugh really loud. :)

I'm going to assume that if you're reading this, you've seen it, so expect SPOILERS AHEAD!

I loved it. I've seen all the other movies, I grew up watching reruns of the original show and Next Generation, watched quite a bit of DS9 and saw virtually every episode of Voyager, so I consider myself a bit of a Trekkie. I thought the movie was a great addition to the Star Trek universe.

The homages to the original stuff was a lot of fun and the movie definitely kept me entertained throughout.

The casting was done well. The absolute highlight for me was Bones. I thought he completely nailed it. I was sold on the character from the first sentence and I just about died when he said, "I'm a doctor, not a physicist!" Ah hahaha! Scottie was probably my second favorite. Chekov's hair was way too curly, so even though the accent was perfect, his hair distracted me.

When Kirk is sitting in the bar right after Pike tells him to enlist in Starfleet, Kirk picks up a little starship salt shaker and I all but shrieked, "I want those!" To which my Mom laughed and said maybe for Christmas. Yeah, I'm a dork :) Because that would be amazing!
(note to self: make sure before I accept any guy's proposal, that he is okay with starship salt and pepper shakers)

I thought that the romantic interest between Uhura and Spock was a little odd, but it also felt strangely okay. A lot of people seemed to be bothered by it, but it didn't do too much for me one way or the other. I didn't hate it, but I wasn't thrilled either.

I loved the scene when Kirk is swelling up all over the place and Bones keeps giving him shot after shot. So funny :)

It's been a while since I've watched Star Trek (other than some of the more recent movies) but I don't remember Romulans looking like that. It just struck me as strange, with the tattoos and everything.

Very Lostian ideas of time travel and alternate realities. I couldn't help thinking about them while watching it.

The ending seemed rather too easily wrapped up - I mean, Kirk goes from being a cadet to being a full-fledged captain? Way too quick (plus the extremely corny standing ovation - puh-lease). But then we realized that the whole next movie would have had to be about how he became captain, and that would just be ridiculous. This one was to set everything up so that they can take other movies in new directions, so it kind of had to end that way.

Yeah for Michael Giacchino's score! Loved the music and the second time around I started catching nuances of the original Star Trek score in different scenes. So cool.

My biggest nitpick actually had to do with the set, and no, it wasn't about how it looked newer and shinier. That didn't bother me. It was actually with the turbo lifts and how they didn't turn the little handles to move around. They had the old style communicators and phasers, but not those. Then I started rationalizing that this was actually before the voice activation, so it worked more like an elevator and that maybe in the next movie they'll have progressed to that. Haha. (What's sad is that the rationalization actually made me feel better. (though it's kind of weird that this was my biggest nitpick)

Also, had a question about the bug that they put into Pike. If they are the same kind of thing as in The Wrath of Khan, then why doesn't Pike seem to be affected by it when Kirk rescues him? It's like, you see the bug put in (and through the mouth, not the ear) and the next thing you see is Kirk rescuing him and he's mentally fine. Random thought came to me that maybe Pike is still under Captain Nero's suggestive influence via the bug and that will come into play as part of the next movie. Or maybe we're just supposed to think that it did its job, came out and Pike is fine.

So, there you have it, my scatter-brained review and thoughts on Star Trek.
Now I must boldly go where I have often gone before....

(sorry, couldn't help myself :P)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Free Will Vs. Destiny or Jacob Vs. MaybEsau

In some of my many musings about "The Incident", I came to the conclusion that we were looking at Jacob and MaybEsau the wrong way. I don’t think it will come down to a clear cut right vs. wrong, or an obvious hero vs. villain. The better parallel for me is the struggle between free will, or choice, and fate, or destiny.

From this view, I think it is clear that Jacob represents free will or choice, which would put his counterpart, whom I shall call MaybEsau (based on the name from Nikki Stafford’s blog), represents destiny.

Here are some of the facts that I believe support this theory:
Right at the beginning of "The Incident" Jacob and MaybEsau have a very intriguing conversation. I actually watched just this part over again to try to catch it all. Here's the transcript of their conversation. I think it's important enough to recap here:

MaybEsau: Morning.
Jacob: Morning.
M: Mind if I join you?
J: Please. Want some fish?
M: Thank you, I just ate.
J: I take it you're here because of the ship.
M: I am. How did they find the Island?
J: We'll have to ask them when they get here.
M: I don't have to ask. You brought them here. Still trying to prove me wrong aren't you.
J: You are wrong.
M: Am I? They come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same.
J: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.
M: Do you have any idea how badly I want to kill you?
J: Yes.
M: One of these days, sooner or later, I'm going to find a loophole my friend.
J: Well when you do I'll be right here.
M: Always nice talking to you, Jacob
J: Nice talking to you, too.

There’s been a lot of discussion over what Jacob means when he says "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress." I think what it means is that there is a definite end to the Island that will come at, well, the end. Each of the groups that come to the Island is in a way being tested. Are they the ones that can carry it out to the proper conclusion?
Jacob believes that each group can make their own choices. They can choose to destroy, kill and die or, eventually, a group will come that will make the right choices and bring everything to a conclusion.

MaybEsau believes that it’s always going to end the same way. None of the groups are capable of making the right choice. They are all destined to repeat the same types of mistakes as those who came before.

With each group Jacob is convinced that they can prove MaybEsau wrong, but MaybEsau doesn’t believe it will ever happen. The question is, will our Losties be the ones to get it right?
As Jacob comes into contact with the various people, he emphasizes many times that they have a choice.

Kate: Yes, Jacob pays for the lunch box, but he tells her not to steal anymore. She isn’t branded as a thief, the police aren’t involved. Kate has the opportunity to make the choice and turn her life in another direction.

Sawyer: Jacob gives him a pen. At first, I was thinking that he was helping Sawyer to write the letter that would eat him up. But on further consideration I think he was actually giving Sawyer a choice. Without the pen Sawyer would just continue to stew over the letter, writing and rewriting it in his head. With the pen he has a choice – he can finish the letter and hold onto the bitterness, or he can let it go and follow the advice of his relative (or whoever that man was at the funeral).

Jin and Sun: He tells them that their love is special and that they need to remember that. They have a choice. They can work through the difficulties that come, remembering how special their love is, or they can allow other things to come between them.

Hurley: Right before Jacob gets out of the car, he touches Hurley and says, "It’s your choice, Hurley. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to."

Ben: Jacob tells him that he has a choice. That he doesn’t have to listen to NotLocke.
Jacob even believes in giving his counterpart the freedom of choice. He doesn't deny that MaybEsau can find a loophole, doesn't protest, doesn't argue. Instead he simply says, "Well when you do I'll be right here." And that's where he is. MaybEsau made his choice, Jacob made his.

Unfortunately I can't think of many examples to prove that MaybEsau falls on the destiny side of things (mainly because we see so little of him as MaybEsau and it's hard to tell how much is Locke and how much isn't), but I think it is very important that he chooses Locke to inhabit. From season 1, Locke has been a huge supporter of the destiny idea. Whether he believes it is his destiny to crash on the Island, to push the button or to be the leader of the Others, he dives in with his whole heart. I don't think that it is any coincidence that MaybEsau chooses Locke as his host.

Add to that the fact that he disagrees with Jacob that things will ever change, and I believe it's a pretty strong case that MaybEsau represents the destiny side of the equation.

So which will win out? Destiny or free will? Or is the balance of the two what truly matters?
Unfortunately, we have to wait eight freakishly long months to even begin to discover the answer!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lost Season 5 1/2 Episode 1 "Just the Beginning"

Feeling Lost without Lost?
Wondering what to do on Wednesday night and Thursday without new fodder for discussion?
Ready for a laugh?

Once again my sister, Aching Hope, has come up with a brilliant fake episode. Please enjoy!

5½.1 "Just the Beginning"

Opens with the Swan Station and Sawyer, etc are running away from the magnetic hole. There’s a white flashy light and lots of noise and confusion.


Back to the beach.

Locke and Ben come out of the statue. Richard and the others are standing around Dead-Locke.

Locke: (seeing Ilana, looking at Ben) I told you they were coming.

Ben: (looks and sees Dead-Locke, his eyes go all wide. He looks to Locke.) You lied to me.

Locke: So? You lied to me.

Richard: (cocks his gun and points it at Locke.) Who are you?

Ilana and her gang lift up their guns too and the Others do as well, thinking, hey, why not. That’s what we usually do.

Locke: (Raising his hands up peacefully, you slug) I told you who I am. My name is John Locke.

Ilana: Liar. (Points to dead Locke) This is the man you speak of. Jacob came to me and told me to help him, and I did. I found this man. And I found you. You weren’t on that plane. Were you?

Ben: Well, were you Locke?

Locke: (looking at Richard.) No. I wasn’t. I’m surprised you didn’t recognize me.

Richard: (Dawning realization! He is beginning to look really, really scared.)

Ben: But the Island told me to follow you. The Island said…

Locke: Did it? Did it really? Because as far as I know, the Island had nothing to do with it. First you saw black smoke, which I conveniently control. And then you saw Alex. Poor, dear Alex. You do realize she’s dead, don’t you? You didn’t really think she would come back from the grave just to tell you to follow a stupid little man named John Locke.

Ben: (starting to get that psycho look)

Richard: Ben. Where is Jacob?

Ben: (turning to Richard) I killed him, Richard.

Dun Dun Dun!


An older woman is getting out of bed when the alarm goes off. She turns on a record player. Retro music playing. Said older woman is doing regular morning things and we’re thinking, haven’t I seen this scene before with Chang, with Juliet, with Desmond? But then the door slams open and a younger woman comes in. The older woman looks up.

Older woman: Yes, Anna?

Younger woman: They’re here. Just like you said they would be.

Older woman: Are you sure?

Younger woman: Yes. I still have the photo you gave me.

Older woman: (sinks into the couch, we still haven’t seen her face.) What will happen to them?

Younger woman: (shrugging) I don’t know. But I think they’re going to kill one of them.

Older woman: Which one?

Younger woman: They say his name is Sawyer.

The camera swings around and you see that it’s an older Juliet.

Dun Dun Dun


Richard: What do you mean you killed him?

Ben: I mean I killed him. What else could that mean, Richard?

Richard: You have no idea what you just did.

Ben: Well, no one took the time to explain it to me, did they? What was I supposed to do?

Locke: (All smug) You should have listened. You never were good at listening.

Ilana: Enough. We have no time for this.

Locke: Or what?

Ilana: The Island cannot tell you everything, no matter who you are. There was one more thing Jacob told me that you should know.

Locke: What?

Ilana: It isn’t over. Close your eyes.

Locke: What?

Ilana: Close your eyes.

There’s a bright flashy time-travel light. Sawyer, Sayid, Hurley, Miles, Jack, and Kate all fall from the sky and land on the beach.

Sayid: Uhhhg…

Hurley: Dudes, where are we?

Others: All cock their guns and point them at the others, I mean, the ones from the plane crash, I mean the original thems of the opposite of others. Oh good grief. The Losties. The ones that fell from the sky a few moments ago.

Bram: What are they doing here?

Ilana: they are meant to be here.

Frank: Oh boy.

Jack: What do you mean we’re supposed to be here?

Locke: Hello Jack.

Jack: (makes a confused face.) You’re dead?

Ilana: Yes.

Ben: And no.

Richard: It’s complicated.

Jack: (whhhhaaaat face)

Miles: Uh, there’s a dead body. (Points at the box.)

Hurley: Dude! That’s Locke. But you’re Locke. (Points at Locke.) But there’s two of you. But that’s not possible, because you’re dead.

Richard: As we said, it’s complicated. Unfortunately, Locke here, (points to Locke) isn’t exactly who he says he is.

Hurley: So, what is he?

Richard: (smiling) That, my friend, is a very good question.

Hurley: Um, I know this is kinda’ like, a bad time, considering we just time traveled and there’s a living dead guy and stuff, but, are you like, immortal or something?

Richard: Or something.

Hurley: Oh. That’s helpful.

Bram: What’s with the guitar? (Yes, Hurley somehow still has the guitar with him, although we’re still not sure why.) Can I play it?

Hurley: No. Some guy named Jacob gave it to me, and it’s kinda like, you know, special.

Richard: Some guy named Jacob gave it to you? You mean, THE Jacob?

Hurley: Is there more than one?

Miles: Uh, no, Hurley. There’s only one guy in the world named Jacob. (Rolls eyes.)

Hurley: Wait. Is Jacob here? Can I talk to him? I never thanked him for getting me out of prison.

Locke: I’m afraid that’s not possible, Hugo.

Hurley: What? Why?

Richard: Jacob’s dead.

Hurley: What? How? Who killed him?

Ben: I did. I killed Jacob. (Hurley is surprised.) Do you have a problem with that?

Hurley: Do you?

Ben: You really have no idea, do you?

Miles: Uh, do you? (thinking: you guys are all idiots.)

Locke: So what are you guys going to do now?

They all look at him.

Ben: What would you have us do?

Locke: (smiles) I guess you’ll just have to trust me.

The Others slowly put down their guns.

Richard: I don’t think you’re still our leader.

Locke: I think I am.

Ilana: And what would we call you?

Locke: Locke. That’s who I am now.

Ilana: What were you before?

Locke: (smiles but doesn’t answer.)

Hurley: What did people call you before you, like, replicated John Locke’s body?

Locke: Some people called me Pete. (Starts walking toward the jungle.)

Richard: (still has his gun pointed at Locke.) Where are you going?

Locke: I can’t tell you right now. But if anyone wants to join me, they can feel free to follow.

Richard: I can’t let you do that, Locke.

Locke: (turns around toward Richard) Then I guess you’ll have to kill me.

We hear a gunshot go off.

It wasn’t Locke who was shot. He’s fine. (Except for his true dead body, which is dead and lying on the beach.)

Richard drops to his knees. Sayid is standing behind him. They all stare at him like, what??? But he had to shoot someone this episode.

Kate: (running and kneeling next to Richard, because that’s what she does, she runs up to hurt people and wishes she could heal them.) Why did you do that?

Sayid: Does it matter anymore? (He goes and stands by Locke.) I don’t know who you are exactly, but it doesn’t really matter.

Locke: I know. (Pats Sayid on the shoulder.) Does anybody else want to join us? Ben?

Ben: (shakes his head.)

Locke: You know, Ben, you don’t really have a choice.

Kate: (looks from Locke to Ben while trying to stop Richard from bleeding.) What is he talking about?

Ben: (looking down at Kate.) I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know. (Looks at Locke.) I don’t know anything anymore.

Kate: What? You always know what’s going on. You’re Ben.

Ben: I won’t always be Ben, Kate. (He goes off with Locke.)

Miles: (To Hurley.) You gonna’ go with them?

Hurley: No way man, they’re all psycho killers.

Miles: Right.

Hurley: So, I guess you’re going to follow them?

Miles: Why? Because I can talk to dead people?

Hurley: I guess. I don’t know. I thought you just liked hanging around psycho crazy people.

Miles: (stares at Hurley.) Uh. No.

Hurley: But you’re going to follow them, right? Because it’s like, your destiny or something? I don’t know. I just thought you would.

Richard: Hurley’s right, you should follow them.

Miles: Why don’t you, eyeliner man?

Ilana: In case you didn’t notice, Richard’s been shot. I will go follow them, you may come with me if you like.

Miles: Sure. Why not. It’s not like I had anything better to do.
(He starts to leave, Ilana tells Bram to stay on the beach and follows him.)

Hurley: (To Jack) He’s going to be okay, right?

Jack: No, Hurley. He’s not.

Kate: What do you mean?

Jack: The shot went right into the lower intestines. He’s going to die in a matter of minutes. There’s nothing I can do.

Kate: What? But you have to do this. You have to fix him.

Jack: Well, Kate. I can’t fix everything.

Kate: But you’re Jack. That’s what you do.

Jack: Really, Kate? Because as much as I try to fix things I’m always breaking them.

Hurley: Whoa, break it up guys. I think Richard’s… I think he’s dying.

They all turn and watch Richard breathe one last time. Ahhhhh!

Meanwhile in the jungle:

Locke stops because he hears rustling behind him. Ilana and Miles come out of the jungle.

Locke: What are you doing here?

Miles: We decided to join you, what does it look like we’re doing?

Locke: You’re not going to like where we’re going.

Sayid: Where are we going?

Locke: Somewhere very special.

They start tramping in the woods.

Miles: (Grumbling) Everything is special.

Ben: (smiles.)


Hurley: Is he dead?

Jack: Yes, Hurley. He’s dead.

Hurley: Whoa. I didn’t think he could die.

Sawyer: (finally standing up from where he was sitting this whole time.) Yes Hurley. Anyone of us could die. (Totally what Daniel said because everyone is always quoting each other.)

Hurley: I’m sorry about, you know. Juliet.

Sawyer: It wasn’t your fault, big guy.

Bram: What are we going to do now?

Sun and Jin finally realize that they’re together again. They hug and kiss. Awwwww….so cute.

Jack: I don’t know.

Someone off camera: I might.

They all turn.

It’s Jacob!!!!!! He’s not dead.

Hurley: But I thought you were dead, man.

Jacob: (smiling) No. Not yet. (Kneeling down and touching Richard and healing him. Yay!) Where’s Locke? And Ben?

Hurley: They went into the jungle all macho gung-ho. They’re crazy psycho killers.

Jacob: I know.

Hurley: So…. Is it like over? Do we just let them go and live our normal lives?

Jacob: No. It’s not over. The war has just begun.

Dun Dun Dun Dun!!!!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Jacob, Esau, Ashes and a Phoenix

I started doing some research on ashes, particularly rings of ashes. I was trying to find out where a ring of ashes has been used. I've heard it said, and not only in relation to Lost, that a ring of ashes is supposed to be for protection - to keep something out - or in.

But as I did intense research (through google and wikipedia :P), the same thing kept popping up - the phoenix. Over on Nikki's blog, humanebean mentioned a phoenix in connection to Jacob, wondering if he would rise from the ashes the way a phoenix in mythology would. So I started looking into it.

I'm not saying this is conclusive or anything, but here's an interesting proposition... Jacob is a phoenix. If you look at his tapestry (which I looked up on lostpedia here: http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:5x16_Jacob%27s_tapestry.jpg

You'll see that across the top is a span of wings. People have been pointing out the sun rays and assuming that it is referring to Ra, but in almost every picture I could find, Ra is represented by a circle, not by wings.

Wings, however, are used in every picture of a phoenix, since the phoenix is a bird. Here's an example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Phoenix_detail_from_Aberdeen_Bestiary.jpg

In that example you'll also notice that there is the image of the sun above, but this is because Ra and the phoenix were closely related. Here's an excerpt from http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Phoenix_(mythology)

"Living a long life (the exact age can vary from five hundred to over a thousand years), the bird dies in a self-created fire, burning into a pile of ashes, from which a phoenix chick is born, representing a cyclical process of life from death. Because it is reborn from its own death, the phoenix also took on the characteristics of regeneration and immortality."

Sound like anyone we know? The fire was burning in the foot before MaybEsau arrived and someone pointed out that it may in fact be the same fire that was burning as the episode opened. If so, then the fire that Jacob burned in was a "self-created" fire.

Occasionally, the phoenix was depicted in a white robe, according to the site. Hmm.... Jacob, white robe...

Here's another quote from the newworldencyclopedia:
"The Bennu [phoenix] also became closely connected to the Egyptian calendar, and the Egyptians kept intricate time measuring devices in the Bennu Temple."

The temple on the Island seems to be connected in some way to Jacob, since Richard was taking Ben to Jacob. And Jacob also seems to be very connected to time and time keeping.

Perhaps his appearances to each of the Losties was at the correct time to move them in the direction that would bring them to the Island at the right time. That might explain why he appeared to each of them at different periods in their lives. Hurley and Sayid were already going to be on the plane, but Kate and Sawyer and Locked needed to be prodded in the right direction.

Think about it: If Kate hadn't gotten away with the lunch box then she may never have ended up on the run from the law so many, many years later. If she was never a fugitive then she never would have ended up in Australia and, therefore coming back under the custody of the marshall.

If Sawyer had thrown that letter away then he might have gotten over the bitterness eating at him and then he never would have been in Australia hunting down the man he thought was the original Sawyer.

If Locke hadn't been thrown out the window, he never would have been paralyzed. He wouldn't have become obsessed with the idea of "Don't tell me what I can't do", never would have become obsessed with the idea of going on a walkabout and never would have ended up in Australia.

Maybe we'll discover next season that Jacob appeared to other Losties earlier on, but the numbers already had Hurley travelling to Australia to try to break the curse. It isn't until he's one of the O6 that he needs the extra convincing to get him to come back to the Island.

Sayid would never have come back to the Island willingly, either. With Nadia dead, he turns to working for Ben, which brings him into contact with Ilana (who now seems to be working for Jacob) and he never would have been on 316 and back on the Island.

Jacob is a keeper of time and a director of getting people to the right place at the right time.

So, if Jacob is in fact a "phoenix", then what does that make MaybEsau? Does the phoenix have an enemy in mythology? In eastern mythologies, the phoenix-type creature is an enemy of snakes and serpents, including dragons. Interesting, because, if Jacob is in this sense "good" then MaybEsau would be, in this sense "bad" and the serpent in biblical symbolism is representative of satan, the deceiver, the liar, the evil.

According to http://www.newsfinder.org/site/more/phoenix_the_symbol_of_rebirth/

in Chinese mythology, the dragon and the phoenix represent "the complete yin-yang mutual interdependence in the universe in terms of duality."

If that is the case, then I bring it back to my original statement earlier today that perhaps neither Jacob nor Esau are necessarily good or evil, they represent free will and destiny and for everything to work the way it's supposed to, there needs to be a balance of both.

By killing Jacob, I think MaybEsau has tilted the balance - he may think it's in his favor, but I'm not so sure. Perhaps Jacob is simply about to rise from the ashes.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Lost: The Incident

Oh. My. Werd.

Talk about going out with a bang. I said I would never write my own recap of Lost, because it's way more fun to go discuss it over at Nikki Stafford's blog, but here I go. Just way too much happened during this episode for me to write all my thoughts over there, so I'll write them all here and then reference this for commenting there.
I put it all in order as the episode progressed with general thoughts at the end.

  • Who is the other man (the man in black :P) there with Jacob?
  • I love how Sawyer can't even LOOK at Kate without Juliet being all, "Oh, you looked at her, you still love her, I'm insecure and all alone." But there's no problem with Juliet being so overly concerned immediately about Jack.
  • How DID Daniel know EVERYTHING? And how does Sayid figure it all out so quickly? I didn't know he was a physicist. Anyone else would have gotten a headache just looking at that freakishly haphazard journal, but Sayid just flips to the right page and says, this is what we've got to do...
  • What were the other 2 times that Richard visited Locke off the Island? We know his visit when Locke was a little boy. Was he there at Locke's birth? I don't remember.
  • Why can't Fake-Locke kill Jacob? Is that part of the "rules"? Like the way Ben can't kill Widmore?
  • I didn't realize that Sayid was THERE when Nadia died!!! AH! I so didn't want to see that scene. It was so sad.
  • Was Eloise the leader? Or were Charles and Eloise co-leaders and when the bomb goes off someone has to turn the wheel to set things right and Charles refuses, so Eloise has to. That would explain their animosity and why Daniel never knew he had a father.
  • NOT SAYID!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Highlight: Hurley comes to save the day in the Dharma van again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah Hurley!!!!!!!
  • When Kate and Sawyer are arguing over where to go and Sawyer's like, do you have a compass, I'm thinking... the sun sets in the west......ummmm do you need a compass to see that?
  • VINCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • ROSE AND BERNARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and did mine eyes deceive me, or was that
  • Jacob/Horace's cabin? And Bernard in a beard is only marginally better than the infamous Jeard. And I loved the calm and peaceful Rose music. Is that really it for them? Are they done like Walt? What a crummy ending to their story line. I mean, good, but crummy.
  • Did anyone else wonder if Juliet is pregnant? And if that might be one of the reasons that she was so scared?
  • The ash around Jacob's cabin is broken. Was that keeping him in? And if so, who was keeping him?
  • Highlight: Locke, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Ben, "I'm a pisces." Ahhahahahahahahaha
  • (this was obviously before we found out Locke wasn't! Locke!) I loved how Locke pointed out the hatch door and how it was such a symbol for how Ben and Locke's relationship has completely flip flopped and now Locke is the one playing mind games on Ben and Ben is the one who's all confused and without a plan.
  • CHARLIE'S RING!!!! Aaron might actually get it some day, now!!!!!
  • Highlight: Locke, "Well, it's a wonderful foot, Richard." Ahhahahahahahah
  • Well, who would have guessed that it was actually Christian that saved Jack from panicking and then Jack is a jerk and attacks his father rather than thanking him. It's no wonder his dad didn't want to help him anymore. Jack got on my very last nerve tonight.
  • Wow! Sawyer could have changed his whole life (if you can actually change anything) But that would have changed Locke's whole life, too! Because, if he killed Cooper, then Cooper wouldn't have stolen Locke's kidney, Locke never would have met Helen and then lost her and Cooper never would have thrown Locke out the window.
  • JACK! Is doing all of this because Kate dumped him! His life stinks so he's going to change EVERY FREAKIN' BODY else's life! Could he BE any more of a selfish jerk!?!?!
  • THE question of the night seemed to be, "What about me?" People. Please.
  • And now Juliet is the one acting all paradoxically. "I know you would stay with me forever, Jim, so I'm dumping you because you looked at Kate, even though I'm admitting that you would have stuck with me and that's why I want Jack to change the future becaus I can't handle my own paradox."
  • And Chang loses his arm.....
  • Jack, "nothing in my life has ever felt so right." Wait, didn't he say that about Sarah? Even if not, yeah, your feelings have led you well so far, Jack............
  • Highlight: Hurley, matter-of-factly, "Oh, so you must be dead." Jacob, "I'm definitely not dead."
  • Who was driving that cab?
  • Highlight: Hurley to Jack, "Dude, what happened to your face?" HA!
  • Jack to Sawyer, "See you in Los Angeles. Or not, since we won't know each other and I would never talk to you because I'm a fancy pants doctor with Daddy issues and too much alcohol while you are an angry redneck with slicked back hair and anger-management issues."
  • Locke might as well have been saying, "Heel, Ben, heel. Good boy, Benny, you're such a good boy."
  • Highlight: I LOVE MILES! "Maybe Jack is just going to cause The Incident so we should actually help him." And the look on everyone else's face like, oh, whoa and then Miles, "I'm glad you've thought this through."
  • Did we really have to go to the "Live together, die alone" speech again? And Juliet? Really? I mean, she wasn't even there for the speech. Puh-lease.
  • Jack running toward the swan station... "maybe if I hunch my back a little they won't see me, oh and by the way, I suddenly have perfect aim again, even though, back in Dharmaville I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!"
  • Highlight: Miles screaming, "Dad!" and running to help Chang.
  • Highlight: PHIL!!!! IMPALED!!!!!!!!!!! I admit it, my sister and I were screaming... DIE! DIE! DIE! YEEESSSSSS!!!!!! I know, we are sick.
  • Okay, if Juliet had died from the fall, I would have felt oddly guilty, because I said I wouldn't mind if she died and then that scene was so absolutely heart-wrenching that I was sad. But then she blew up the bomb and, in some strange Lostian way, that assuaged my guilt. Weird.
  • Highlight: Sun, "Do you have alcohol?" Richard, "I wish I did." CAN you get drunk, Richard? Just curious.
  • Man, I wish I knew Latin! What did Richard say?
  • LOCKE! was in the CRATE! Okay, totally never even imagined that one. So who/what is Locke and how is he impersonating him, because he obviously has all of his memories and does that mean that CHRISTIAN isn't actually CHRISTIAN?!?!?!?!?
  • Ben's face when he confronts Jacob is so fantastic. He just looks like the broken little kid asking his father, why can't you just love me. I've tried to please you, but it's never enough. And then the knife. I freakin' LOVE Michael Emerson!
  • Last season ended with us seeing Locke's body and this season ended with us seeing Locke's body. (well, not ended, ended, but ended, you know. :P)
  • And did you notice! That the ending went white instead of black and that the promo for next season was all inverted too? Does that mean that the power has shifted with the death of Jacob? Did they change anything, something, nothing? Is next season about the war? If Jacob is dead will someone rise up to take his place?
  • Which one of them is good, Jacob or the man in black? I think that is one of the main questions all the way through - who are the good guys? On the one hand I think we're led to like and side with Jacob, but on the other hand, when you think about what he said and how he acts, I started to wonder. Right at the very beginning, and I'll have to rewatch it to be sure, but it seems like Jacob enjoys watching people crash on the Island and then suffer until they die and the man in black (whom I shall name Pete in honor of my sister's idea) is trying to stop him. The comment about the "loophole" just seems really strange. But THEN with discovering that Pete is actually Locke...or Locke is actually Pete... or whatever, and the cold way that he just killed Jacob makes me wonder if he is good or not? and Ilana is with Jacob and revealing the truth about Locke....my head explode.
  • In relation to all of that, my sister noted that if you look at it right, Jacob is going around cursing all of the Losties. He's the one who aids and abets Kate in her life of crime (can I just say how cute little Katie was!), he's the one who gives Sawyer the pen to write the letter that will be a constant reminder of his bitterness, he doesn't save Nadia. He saves Locke's life, but if he knew about it, he could have stopped Locke altogether. His comments to Sun and Jin sound very nice, but they end up doing the exact opposite of what he said.
  • Lost, I miss you already.

And for those of you who found yourself confused about Locke and Jacob and "Pete" here is something that will not help you in the slightest. It's kind of a wacky recap, trying to understand what happened, this is what your brain does after two hours of Lost late at night thing that my sister and I put together. Mainly she did it and I transcribed it. Imagine it being acted out by little nail polish bottles. Yeah, we're dorks.

So there’s two guys, Jacob and I’ll call the other one Pete, because we don’t know what his name is and there aren’t any Petes.
So Jacob and Pete are lying on the beach and Pete’s like I want to kill you and Jacob’s like haha and Pete’s like loophole. And Jacob’s like I’m going to watch some people on the ship and Pete’s like, they’re all going to die anyway. And Pete’s like, Jacob and Jacob’s like I’m not going to say your name.
So Pete goes tromping off into the jungle


So then Jacob gets all excited and he’s like I’m going to go all around the world and I’m going to curse people and then I’m going to be like, Hurley it’s a blessing. That guy was supposed to jump off the building. And the guy was supposed to be killed by the meteor, That’s the way it was supposed to happen.
And Hurley’s like do you want a fruit roll-up and Jacob’s like, no I’m on a diet.
Hurley goes to the Island and etc.

So, but one of the people that Jacob decided to go visit was the fake Ana Lucia, because he knew that Ana Lucia was going to die, but he liked people with her skin tone. And then he healed her face *angelic singing* because I am what lies in the shadow of the statue. And then Ilana was like I will go find Bram because he reminds me of a muffin.
Then Jacob is like I’m gonna chill out over here in this cave under the statue of a foot because what’s better than a foot.

Meanwhile... Back or forwards in time, Pete has magical powers, so he shapeshifts into sa-moke-ee and he’s like "Looooocccckkkeeee I weeeeelllll becommmmmme yooooooou!"
And Locke is really dead! >:(

Brief flashback to when Jacob and Ilana were talking. Jacob’s like, by the way, there’s this dead guy and he’s bald and he’s on a plane and you need to capture a guy named Sayid and go on the plane with the dead bald guy and when you crash on an Island where Sayid will disappear you are going to take a big box that looks like it holds a nuclear weapon, but it doesn’t, it just has magical powers to keep people from decomposing and smelling really, really bad and put the dead bald guy in it and then go to a statue because you will magically know where it is because I have given you magical powers.
End of brief flashback

So then Sa-moke-ee takes the form of LOCKE! Dun dun dun!
And He’s like Richard take me here, Richard take me there, Ben be my dog
And Ben’s like, a-woof, tell me what to do master, because I am a walking zombie.
And Smokey-Locke’s like hahahahah I will laugh in your face.
And Richard is confused. You’re not following the rules!
And Smokey-Locke is like hahhah I don’t care about rules. I don’t speak rules *chuckle, chuckle*
Then Smokey-Locke goes into the FOOT!
And he’s like, come here puppy, come here puppy, you can do it Benny, oh you’re such a good boy.

They go into the foot and Jacob’s like look at the thing I made aren’t you proud of me?
And Smokey-Locke says, no I am not proud of you, but I’m not going to say that because Ben is here and he’s supposed to do my bidding and I can’t say anything because I don’t want him to know that I’m not Locke, I’m really Smokey-Locke who is really Pete, but nobody would know that but you.

So then Ben is all Oh so cute like a little kid and he’s like why do you hate me, why why why? I did everything that you asked me to do and I never asked why. I fetched your sticks and I got your slippers. What about me? Because apparently that’s the question of the day.

And Jacob, cold-hearted Jacob, says, *high-school girl voice* what about you? eww. And Ben goes psycho *stab, stab, stab, stab, stab*
And Pete, because being stabbed in the heart isn’t enough, pushes Jacob into the flames, flames, FLAMES!

Meanwhile on the beach, Richard is like what is going on? And Ilana comes up with her muffin and says you must see something Ricardos and Richard is like that hasn’t been my name in like a hundred years, get with the program.
And Ilana’s like open the box, my muffin.

So Bram opens the box and *DUN DUN DUN music* and you think is it this? Is it that? It could be anything! It could be anyone! And then they show you the face and you think, huh, I never thought about that one.

And then you realize it’s the real John Locke and he’s really dead. And you realize that’s why Locke has been acting so strange. And then you realize that he’s really dead and then you want to cry ;-; and then you feel like Richard because you’re really confused.
And Locke is still in the cave, but he’s not Locke he’s really Pete and we’re all still really confused.

The End.