"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Xerophilous



hahaha. X is hard.

At first I was going to do X-Files. Because My Dad and I have been watching it. Almost finished with the first season and I am loving it. Young David Duchovny is *ahem* palatable.
(oh rats. I just realized that my Dad reads Retail Wednesdays. Um... Hi Dad! Yeah, nothing going on here, you can just scroll down the page *facepalm*)

Anyways, my Mom doesn't like the show and it scared me silly when I was younger, but I am so loving it now. It is a really interesting series.

Then I was thinking that I could do Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because I just love me some Xander.
And he's TOTALLY like a younger Chandler. Really and truly. It makes me grin pretty much a lot.

But then I realized that it's Wednesday! And I can't skip Retail Wednesday! (especially because I think Jenn and Lindsey would probably hunt me down and chain me to my computer until I had done another post)

Do you realize how impossible it is to come up with a good "X" title for a Retail Wednesday post? Like totally impossible!

Xerophilous means "Flourishing in or adapted to a dry hot environment"

Which is the best thing I could come up with. Because our AC units have been on the fritz for about a year now and we all suck down copious amounts of water and wave books at ourselves to cope. But I think we're managing to flourish. Or at least adapt.

Lame. I know.

But let's get onto the (there it is! that's the word! Onto. Should it be on to? or onto?! If you have no idea what on earth I am babbling about click over to Falen's post about into.)

Anyhoo ... let's get onto the Awards!

Strangest Topic Award:

A woman came in looking for our section on alpacas.

I just thought it was kind of a weird thing to be looking for.

Funnier was my coworkers response after the woman had left...
"Why yes. It's right over here between our sections on llamas and mountain goats!"


Time Waster Award:

It would be nice if customers would display these prominently just so I can prepare myself.

A customer calls and asks for a book. I look it up, find it and bring it back to the info desk where I pick up the phone.

Me: Yes, we do have a copy. Would you like me to hold it for you?

Customer: Is it your only copy?

Me: Yes it is. What's your last name? I can put it at the register for you.

Customer: No thanks. I'm not sure I'll be able to get there today.

Me: Well, we can hold it until tomorrow for you, if you want.

Customer: That's all right. I don't want to waste your time. I'll just find it when I come in.

Me: (after the customer has hung up) But you ARE wasting my time! I already have the book here! When you come in, you aren't going to be able to find it and you are going to make one of us look until we find it! And if someone else buys it or moves it, then you are going to get cranky and say, "Well, they said it was here yesterday." AGGHHH!!!!


Phone Freak Award:

J answers the phone.

Woman: Hi, I was wondering if you have the AP Psych review book?

J: (looks for it) Yes, we do.

Woman: Do you have the one with the CD?

J: Yes. We have one with the CD and a few of the one without the CD. Do you want me to hold it for you?

Woman: No. I don't know which one my daughter wants. I'll call you back later.
Can I have one of these signs? Please? Can I post it all over my store?


Private Amusement Award:
A customer came up to the desk and said:

Excuse me, do you have architecture?

Fortunately one of my coworkers answered him and showed him to the section, because I was laughing in my head and thinking:

Why yes, we have architecture! Otherwise you'd be outside right now.

My brain is weird.
See, this is a bookstore without architecture.


BWA HAHA Award:

Three teenage boys come into the store. I am guessing they're between 15 and 17.

They look like typical teenage boys.
Just. Like. This. Maybe.

As they walk past the info desk one of them exclaims (yes, exclaims) "Man! I can't wait for that new Twilight book to come out!"

His friend snorts. "Dude, you read Twilight?"

Kid is not embarrassed at all. "Yeah, man! Twilight's awesome!"

Me: *snorting water through my nose from holding in the laugh*


So Disgusting I Think I Might Barf, but It Was Too Bizarre Not To Share Award:
(which gets its own prize for being the longest Award Title Ever.)


A man came up to the desk and told a seller that we might want to check on the men's bathroom.

Never. A. Good. Thing.

So I snagged the only male employee in the building and made him do recon to make sure no creepy men were lurking in the bathroom. They weren't, but they left behind creepiness.

I see a mound of stuff (mainly white) in the one toilet. Like all the way to the top. And I'm thinking, jerkfaces.

So I get gloves and a trashbag, because there's really only one way to deal with this and that is to pull the paper towels and such out. They are never ever going to flush.

Why am I still a supervisor, you ask? It's cause I get to do fun stuff like this! NOT!

Ahem.

So I drag the trashcan over and realize it is not just paper. No. They left us a much better present.

(do you know how awkward it is when you realize you have to search pictures for "underwear"?! Do you know how relieved I was when this came up on the first page?! Do you know how messed up it is that they actually make an underwear rug?!)

Yup.
Um, ew! and Gross! and... WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING NOW IF THESE ARE IN OUR TOILET!

Words have totally escaped me.

Fortunately, M is a gentleman and offers to do it for me. I guard the door and try not to think about... Anything.

Please just kill me now.

Thanks for stopping by *waves excitedly*.

Don't forget, you still have a couple of days to enter Naomi's creepy cute owl and pillow giveaway! And while you're there (even if you don't enter) become a follower, because she rocks and she had a bad day, so she could probably use some cheering up.

AND

When we each hit 108 followers (because 108 is THE number and brownie points if you know why) there will be a SUPER SISTER CONTEST! (real name and full details to be revealed at a later date.) It will rock! It may contain the following: book prizes and owl prizes and flash fiction prizes and may include drawings and writing contests and other super amazing things!

24 comments:

B. Miller said...

Awesome post! I love retail Wednesdays - your entries are hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

Mia said...

OOOHH, I have a um "thing" for David Duchovny too. Actually I don't care who knows it. He's so sweet.

And I clicked on "palatable" and now must confess I totally liked Wesley too. Even though he was such a good boy all of the time my very young teenage self was like totally in love with him for a spell *sighs* And now I've admitted to that embarassing fact..

Great post! I love retail Wednesdays too :~D

sarahjayne smythe said...

Oh, yeah, I love me some David and some Xander. :) Thanks for sharing those pics with us. Great post.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

Excellent post, loved the x word,also the awards, that black and white cat left me speechless.

Yvonne.

Lisa and Laura said...

I love Retail Wednesday. It's kind of fascinating to see the randomness that the public offers booksellers on a weekly basis. I think my favorite this week had to be the Twi-hard dude. Love it.

Jessica said...

On the architecture comment: your brain is not weird. I would have thought the exact same thing. Or maybe both our brains are weird... :-)

Jenn said...

Indeed, Jenn and Lyndsey (who is Lyndsey? I don't know her, but I like her!) would have to resort to drastic measures if there were no Retail Wednesday!

It is literally awesomesauce! (I have stolen this word. One guess from whom!)

And the undies incident? Oh Goodness! I laughed when I read it! I have mentioned my 10+ years spent in food and customers services before I got my officie-type job, yes?

Well, I probably have not mentioned that I had the distinct pleasure of cleaning up a pair of undies myself. Not out of the toilet though. From the TP dispenser if you must know:P

Strange, strange, strange. And do not break your brain by trying to figure out what Old UnderPantless Wonder is doing now without his skivvies. My brain says "Nooooooo! You don't even want to go there!"

Palindrome said...

I also thought the same thing about architecture. You should have said, yes AND air conditioning!

LOL, as usual I heart retail Wednesday! It makes me happy. :D

VW: squer- I imagine this is how you say square in the south.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@B. Miller: Why you're quite welcome! Thanks for stopping by.

@Mia: Yes! Another Wesley admitter! haha!

@sarahjayne: I know, sweet, right? And did you check out the winners video? *hint hint*

@Yvonne: That cat cracks me up :)

@Lisa and Laura: People are SO random. Someday when I leave retail I will miss having these crazy stories to tell.

@Jessica: I vote for both.

@Jenn: Lindsey is also known as Dangerous with a Pen. And Undies in the TP? I don't even want to know!

Patricia Stoltey said...

I love posts that make me laugh out loud, so I loved this one. Especially the underwear rug.

Grammy said...

Ha ha ha, so very funny! I laughed and it was so good for me!Thanks.
Love that cat! Ruby

Jemi Fraser said...

Yikes! I'm so glad I don't work in retail - it would be so hard to keep a straight face sometimes :)

Joan Crawford said...

Look at you! 83 followers! Congratulations!!! I remember when our little Sonshine had just a few...

;_;


These are tears of pride - you're growing up! Love, love, love me some retail Wednesday!

Jessica said...

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!! That is what I say to the underwear! I mean I know I've dealt with other messy stuff in the bathroom but THAT takes the cake!!!

Joan Crawford said...

P.S. I love your voice. I hope that doesn't sound too creepy because what I am about to say surely will...I was watching your video and the whole time I am like "Ooooh, I hope I get to see more her room and house!"

I'm not a stalker...just weird, as you well know ;)

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@Patricia: Glad I could oblige you with a laugh!

@Grammy: I received a lot of laughs via blogs today, so I'm glad that you got some good out of mine.

@Jemi: Straight face is getting harder and harder - especially since I started doing Retail Wednesdays. I keep thinking about what a good story it will make ;)

@Joan: I know! Right?! I will always remember the little people that helped to get me where I am. But seriously. You, Blam, Teebore, Palindrome and Falen I will always think of with great fondness as my first blog besties (outside of the rest of the Nik at Niters).

@Jessica: EW! seriously. Aren't you glad you weren't there!?

@Joan (again): Maybe someday when I have cleaned it so I am not seriously embarrassed, I will do a quick video tour of my room for the creepy stalkers that care.

Cynthia Reese said...

Oh, man. Retail would be great except for the crazy customers. The nice customers? They make it worth it!

Ellie said...

Fun post! Love all the little surprises throughout!

Falen said...

Hahah!
I'm with joan, i was alos thinkign that you have a good voice. Mine always sounds higher pitched on recordings than i actually think it is (or is it?)
if you have a strong stomach you should ask miss hannah palindrome about her "lovely" bookstore bathroom cleaing incident
so. gross.

Ann Best said...

Your anapestic tetrameter on Tuesday's blog is wonderful. It really is a masterpiece. Perfect rhyming. So fun. You are so young and full of energy. I can feel it leaping from your blog. I found you through Karen G's Coming Down the Mountain. I'm one of the "older" bloggers in blogland, and it's fun. After many, many years I'm getting a novel published. Never give up. I'm becoming your follower. Maybe some of your creativity will rub off!!

Dangerous With a Pen said...

Well, first of all, I appreciate that I didn't have to drag out the bind-you-to-your-computer-chains because they are really quite cumbersome, you know. That would not have been so thoughtful of you. Tee hee... I love me some Retail Wednesday! (And hi, Jenn!)

Ahh, Wesley. :) I had me a kiddie crush on him right around the same time I caught a stuffed animal thrown into the crowd by Joey Joe at a New Kids on the Block concert. Oh yes I did. Sadly, it perished in a house fire. But you can't take my memories!!! Loved lil Wil Wheaton in Stand By Me, too. And Corey Haim in Lost Boys. Aww, kiddie crushes... <3

The alpaca thing made me giggle because I didn't think it was that strange, since, oddly, there are several farms within driving distance of me that have llamas and alpacas and all manner of farmy animals.

I heart your bookstore without architechture story because when you said it I thought exactly what you did, lol. And the pic reminds me a of a good past episode of Fringe.

BTW, last time I was in B&N, I saw a group of Asian teenage boys who seriously could have been the kids in your pic... and they sat down in the crossword puzzle aisle and played word games for at least an hour (I left after that, so who knows how long the puzzle party went on).

Oh, how I wish I could post weekly about the craziness that goes on on any given day in an elementary school... too bad I'd get fired. ;)

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@Cynthia: the crazy ones I don't mind too much (well, it depends on the kind of crazy) It's the nasty ones I can't take.

@Ellie: Glad you enjoyed! :)

@Falen: My voice always sounds lower on recordings than I think it does in real life. I used to HATE listening to myself, but I've come to terms with it randomly.

@Ann: Thanks, I had so much fun with that poem. Glad you found your way over here. I'll have to pop over and check your blog out (if I haven't already... your name sounds familiar, maybe from KarenG's?)

@Lindsey: hahaha! Of course, if you guys had to come chain me to my computer I'd actually get to meet you in person and that'd be pretty sweet. hmmmm....
Also, I didn't really find the alpaca thing THAT weird (except for that whole "section" thing... it was more my coworkers response that made me giggle)

AchingHope said...

Hahaha... Ew Gross. What is wrong with people? Xander!!

VW: blost, to be lost within a blog

Blam said...


"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Alpaca."
"Alpaca who?"
"Alpaca box full of Twilight books for the brave young man if you promise to clean up the water coming out your nose."

Have you gals ever heard the song "David Duchovny [Why Won't You Love Me?]"? Awesomesauce for the ears.

VW: cansidal — Of or relating to the material printed on condensed-soup containers.