"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Untitled

I've talked about my play on here a couple of times and I'm gonna post another snippet of it for you. But first I need some

Or I could just get one of these signs, which made me laugh so hard I shook the entire table:
hahahahahaha! *snort*

Anyhoo.

I really do need some help. I need some suggestions for a title.

My original short story was called An Unlikely Fairy Tale but I don't like it.

So I've been trying to come up with something better. I want something that still references that it is a fairy tale and is a bit whimsical.

I've been playing around with things like "Twice Told Tale" (yech), Two Timing (okay, not really) and my favorite so far is "Twice Upon a Narrator". I've gotten one good response to that and one mocking response to that. I think I'm headed the right direction, but I figured if I threw it out to all you brilliant people you can help me get my juices flowing. (If you come up with a title I use I'll even put you in as Guest #1 or Guest #2 depending on whether you wan to be nice or snarky :)

I've kind of talked about the plot before, but here's a brief summary.

Jarvis is a traditional narrator ready to tell the story of Jane with her enchanted hair when he is interrupted by Gloria, an impulsive, passionate and slightly hyper replacement narrator who was hired even though Jarvis was never fired. They clash and she continually throws out things that disrupt the story (aliens, laptops, etc). At the end of the first act they have a fight and Gloria leaves. The second act begins, but it drags. Everything seems drab without Gloria's constant "interference". She returns, bringing with her pirates and kidnapping schemes. Throughout the rest of the play Jarvis realizes that he needs a little more spontaneity and Gloria comes to see that a plan and tradition may be more necessary than she wanted to admit.

And of course they all live happily ever after!

Any suggestions? Thoughts? Terrible puns?

And here's another excerpt. This is Gloria and Jarvis' big blow up right before the end of the first act. Gloria has just brought in a rock band to play at the ball and has distracted Jarvis from seeing them setting up. The band just began to play......

JARVIS

What is this?

GLORIA

They’re musicians.

JARVIS

(Throws down the cord.) We just talked about continuity and how there is no electricity. You said you could see my point. What is this?

GLORIA

(hesitantly) I might have had electricity installed while you were busy.

REYNOLD

Electricity? I can plug my laptop in! (starts to run off stage, but JARVIS’ voice stops him.)

JARVIS

No! Reynold, you stay right there. This has gone far enough, Gloria. I can’t believe I trusted you. For you to pull something like this while you lied to my face.

GLORIA

I didn’t lie to you.

JARVIS

(steps toward her. The crowd parts as he makes his way to her.) “The Martians were taking it a bit far.” “Vampires have no place in this story.” “All right, I guess I can see that.” Did you mean any of it? Or were you just playing me so you could do whatever you wanted without my interference?

GLORIA

I don’t think vampires belong.

JARVIS

Certainly, make a joke out of it. You have not wanted this story to be told from the moment you walked on stage. I do not know why you took this job in the first place, unless you meant to sabotage it. If that was your intent, then congratulations. You have succeeded.

GLORIA

(growing angry)

Who are you to say what my motivations are? You just can’t handle a little competition. Are you afraid I’m going to improve the story and you won’t be needed any longer?

JARVIS

I think it has already been proved multiple times that I am the superior storyteller here, Martian girl.

GLORIA

Why don’t you throw that in my face a couple more times? I’ve already apologized, what else can I do? I think the reason it rankles you so much is because it proves that you can’t see outside of your narrow little box, even if it might actually improve the story. So maybe that was a bad idea? Does that necessarily mean that all of my ideas are also bad?

JARVIS

Every time I have left you alone or allowed you to tell the story you have thrown something into it to distract and confuse the plot. That is not good!

GLORIA

And which of those things have you allowed to play out for longer than thirty seconds? How do you know it won’t work if you won’t allow the story to run? You keep telling me to be patient and let you tell the story, even if I think it still screams Cinderella. I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt. I’ve played along. You’ve done nothing but shoot down every little original thought I’ve tried to work in.

JARVIS

At least I never lied to or manipulated you. It is no wonder you are sniping for my job. You are incompetent, undisciplined, untrustworthy, volatile and disruptive. You are a disgrace to the good name of narrators everywhere.

GLORIA

(Quietly) Is that really how you feel?

JARVIS

It is.

GLORIA

Someday I hope you realize that you have talked your way right out of a job. Sure people like fairy tales, but you can only tell them so many times and in so many ways. Variety is the spice of life and your life is so bland it’s choking you to death and you can’t even see it. Goodbye, Jarvis. I hope you find your happily ever after, but I have a feeling that by the time you get there you’ll find that it’s not as satisfying as you think it will be.

(exits)

JARVIS

Gloria...

(curtain closes)


*******************************************************************************

I still don't entirely like Gloria's final little speech there. It needs to be tweaked. but this is only the first draft, so :)

12 comments:

insidethewritersstudio said...

The Gloria Effect

The Trouble with a Muse

Gloria's Game (er...I don't know...)

Mia said...

Because Vampires Don't belong (and Martians do)

The Narrators' Cut

Hurricane Gloria (bit misleading but that's how he sees her in the beginning)

I'm all out. I'm horrifically BAD a titles so I can't really offer any more up :~( But it sounds to be a fantastic WiP!




(I also like The Gloria Effect and Twice Upon a Narrator)

Mia said...

wait ---> That should be (neither do Martians. Sorry, long day *sighs*

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@insidethewritersstudio: haha. I kind of like The Gloria Effect.

@Mia: Vampires Don't Belong! Bwa hahaha

Oh goodness.

I'm glad I threw this out there. Getting my juices flowing!

Grammy said...

Hi,
Maybe call it something like "Rockin' Gloriella" ? It is a really cute play. I enjoyed what I read of it the other day, too.
Ruby

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@Ruby: Thanks for the suggestion and I'm glad you liked it. I'm having a lot of fun.


And Mia - I just may need to write a children's book someday called Vampires Don't Belong (And Neither Do Aliens) and when I do I will most def credit you!

Jenn said...

@insidethewritersstudio

I was so thinking The Gloria Effect! Swear! Weird!

Another one that I thought was:

A Tale of Two Narrators

or

Oh Gloria!

or

In-Gloria-s Narrators

or

Go! Gloria, Go!

Okay, I think I'm spent. (And I still want to audition for Gloria's part, don't forget! *wink*)

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@Jenn: ooh... a Tale of Two Narrators. Hmmm...

In-Gloria-s Narrators... bwa ahahahah

And you are totally in for the audition of Gloria's part. :)

Mia said...

Yay! *jumps up and down* :~D I would LOVE a book out there called that so I'm glad you liked it:~)

Talli Roland said...

I am terrible with titles, but maybe... 'Twisted Tale'? I kind of like sticking with the word 'tale' in the title because it gives the readers a sense of what it is right away. Good luck with it!

Love the second photo, by the way.

Jackee said...

Cute! I think I'd need to know more about the story, but off the top of my head, how about:

The StoryTale

The Untraditional Fairy Tale

The Fairly Tale (or Told)

An Unlikely Narrative

A Superior Narration

But I definitely like A Tale of Two Narrators!

AchingHope said...

Hmmm...

How 'bout: An Unhealthy Fascination With Eggs?? Haha, just kidding.

I do like the Tale of Two Narrators.

And you should def write that children's book.