Loonies

Or something like that. Sorry, no majorly witty title for Retail Wednesday this week. And I had to work in the "L" somehow.

Anyhoo. Let's not waste any more time shall we?

Most Annoying Award:

I was called to the front for a customer. When I get up there the customer is holding a pristine, crisp, without even a corner slightly curled, medical book. "I want a damage discount on this!" she announced. I look at the book, obviously confused. She points at a white air bubble the size of a pinhead. Seriously. About 1/16 of an inch in diameter. In the center of a cover, but barely even noticeable. And in no danger of causing any damage to the book. It wasn't even big enough to pop, that's how small it was. I look at her again. She scowls"Can't you give me a damage discount on this?" I look her straight in the eye and say, "I'm sorry, it isn't damaged." (all right, I think I've got to get out of retail. I'm actually saying the things that should probably stay in my head.)

The dot was about as big (maybe) as the biggest dot here.

Phone Freak Award:

Phone rings. I answer. "Thank you for calling Borders, this is Rebecca. How may I help you?"

Customer: Yes, I was wondering if you had a specific pair of shoes in stock?

Me: Um, this is Borders bookstore.

Customer: This isn't FootLocker?

Me: No, it's not.

Customer: Well, do you have their number?

Why, yes! I have it memorized just for your convenience!

(For the record, FootLocker closed in our mall about 3 years ago.)

Private Amusement Award:

We were working on our required pull list - taking books that we have too many of or that aren't selling and sending them back to the warehouse. I picked up the gardening one and was leafing through it at info before heading off to the section. One of my coworkers was standing nearby and we had been joking around. I see one of the titles and it strikes me as a little funny, so I read it out loud. Much louder than I intend. With a (rather cute) guy customer standing nearby. The title of the book? Marijuana is Safer. The guy whipped his head around so fast and looked at me with wide startled eyes. He didn't say anything. I tried not to burst out laughing and ran away so I could tell my coworker (whose back was to him) what had happened. She said, "Well, you don't look like the kind of person that would say something like that."

This is pretty much how he looked.

Not the Brightest Crayon in the Box Award:

Guy comes up to coworker A who is standing behind the information desk.

A: Hi! How can I help you?

Guy: Do you work here?

A: Yes, what did you need.

Guy: (leans closer and looks around) Are all the books here for sale?

No, see, the books on the right hand side, second case, third shelf - those are for sale, but nothing else.

Witty Coworker Award:

One of my coworkers recognized a guy that we are sure has been stealing from us. We've never caught him in the act, but we know he does. So she lets all of us know he's in the store. Another coworker, P, asks for a description. He's about A's height, dark curly hair, t-shirt and jeans with a hoodie that he's holding over his shoulder. However, A adds, when he comes in to actually steal, he puts on the sweatshirt and pulls the hoodie up to cover his face from the camera. P blinks and says, "So we're looking for an actual hoodlum."

Wait for it, wait for it... okay there it is. Yeah. It took me a minute too.

The guy on the right? Total hoodlum. The guy on the left? Not so much.

So that's it for the abbreviated version of Retail Wednesday. Man, I need some crazies to come in!

P. S. Sorry this is up so late, but my sister and I got caught up in watching Buffy *cough*Angel*cough*

Who would want to stop watching this extremely palatable face?

and then we went out for ice cream with the Ladies' Fellowship at church. Because as much as I love you guys, this

was much more important :)