"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Monday, May 10, 2010

Deleted Scene Blogfest with not 1, but 2! Entries

Okay, so Mia, the toast and jam goddess herself, is hosting the Deleted Scene Blogfest. And this picture is just for her :)
It has very loose rules and I have to admit that I took FOREVER to figure out what to do. (not because of the loose rules, but because I was having blogfest block) I was going to try to do something from Jane Eyre, but was totally uninspired and nothing else was coming to mind. So I opened a fresh Google doc and then stared at her blog post of ideas for about an hour and then sat staring at lists of books I've read for about an hour and finally came up with an entry. But it was so not funny that I had to do a second one for her to lighten the mood a little. But I'm going to do them in reverse order. (If that made any sense, good for you, because rereading it, I'm not even sure what I was saying.) Both are rough without much editing, because I was running out of time and because I just didn't feel like going back over it (hey, I can be honest) but they are what they are and hopefully you enjoy.

The first one is a scene that I wish was in Eclipse (yeah, I know Stephenie Meyer, but this is actually the second one I wrote and I was going to write a shopping one, because that was something Mia mentioned, but instead I wrote this.) I decided to write a scene about one of my biggest complaints - Bella's overall wimpiness and lack of life outside of Edward.

So here you go:
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I scowl and poke Edward in the chest. "Listen here," I say firmly. "If you want this relationship to work, then you need to start trusting me. You might think that I can't handle myself, but I survived a good number of years without you.

Edward tries to give me that patented melty topaz look, but I'm having none of it.

"Jacob is just a friend. He was there for me when you took off on your self-righteous mission to 'save me' and I'm certainly not going to just drop him now because you've come back. I love you, but you have to give me space to be my own person."

"I don't like having you with him. Alice can't see if something is going to happen. I just want to keep you safe." Edward's voice is smooth and for a moment I almost fall for it, but then I glare at him.

"We both know that this has nothing to do with Alice not being able to see my future or with keeping me safe. It has everything to do with your jealousy. And if you don't trust me to let me have friends other than you, than that says a lot about your insecurity. So back off and let me have at least a little bit of this 'regular life' you're always trying to foist on me."

"A werewolf isn't normal," Edward snaps. "If you want to hang out with Jessica or Angela or even Mike, be my guest, but I am not letting you run off with dangerous werewolves alone."

"You have no problem with me running around with vampires and from what I've experienced so far, they're a lot more hazardous to my health. Now either get over yourself or leave for real and never come back, because I can't spend eternity,"

Edward glares at me and I shake my head in exasperation. He is so stubborn about this whole turning me thing.

"Fine, I can't spend the rest of my life living with someone who will never let me out of his sight. Got it."

Edward doesn't look happy, but he nods curtly and I smile.
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The second one is going to be a rewrite of something from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. And if you haven't read it yet, shame on you! If you haven't and you're planning on it, you might not want to read this, because it is very spoilery.

But go read it and then come back and read this afterward. :)

ENTERING SPOILER TERRITORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this is a scene told from Rue's point of view. It's kind of longish, but whatever. I couldn't figure out what to cut...
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I fling myself from tree to tree. The urge to sing fills me, but I stifle it. I don't want them knowing where I am. We have a plan. We actually have a plan that might work. Katniss is at the lake now and I'm about to set the second fire. The Careers have fallen for it. They're chasing after no one and don't know it yet. Here's the second spot.

Leaping lightly down I start the fire and then shimmy back up the tree. This time a smile actually comes to my face. I wait for a moment and then leap again. They can't find me in the trees and I can move faster up here. I make my way toward the last spot. After Katniss headed for the lake, I set the fire with dry and green branches. I hope the third column of smoke will confuse the Careers enough that it will draw at least some of them towards me. That will leave less for Katniss to deal with. They probably know something is wrong now, but they also know someone is setting the fires and one more dead tribute is one less contender for the prize. I touch the necklace that's tucked under my shirt. The last reminder of home and I think of my family. If I can win it will mean everything for them. Everything.

Just then I hear them coming. They are loud. It just smacks of their self-importance. They don't think they need to hide the fact that they're coming. I climb a little higher in my tree and try to blend in with the branches. Let them just pass by, I beg silently. We're so close. So close.

Cato is leading the way. "Someone's got to be out here," he bellows. One of the other ones - the boy from District 1 opens his mouth, but then there's this explosion. The trees sway ever so slightly and the Careers all turn to see a flash appear in the sky. Cato swears and they all take off, back to the lake. I tremble against the tree. There's no need to go back to the third fire. Not really, but I find myself heading there anyways. Maybe if I light the fire some of them will come back and give Katniss more time to escape. Because she's fine. She was the one that caused the explosion, I know it. Then a cannon goes off and I can't breathe. Did they get to her before she had time to escape. No. No. I force myself not to think that way, but my hands are shaking. The sky is also getting dark. My heart is racing, but I decide to settle in somewhere for the night. If it was Katniss, I'll know in a few minutes when they play the anthem. If it isn't I'll have plenty of time to get back to meet her in the morning.

I climb into the sleeping bag, but it seems so big and empty without Katniss to share it with. Tears sting my eyes, but I don't allow them to fall. For sure the cameras are on me. They want to see how tiny Rue is handling this. Especially if it was Katniss that died.

Then the anthem plays and the boy from District 3 appears in the sky and I sigh with relief. My heart stops pounding and I'm able to fall into an uneasy sleep.

The Careers wake me. They are angry and they are out for blood.

"I'm gonna kill her," Cato is saying. "I'm going to catch her and then I'm going to kill her and I'm going to make her suffer."

"Shut it, would you?" the boy from District 1 snaps. "We all hate her and we know you want to kill her. Announcing it every two minutes isn't going to do anything."

They stop and I want to scream. How is it that they always manage to stop right near my tree? Is there some sort of sense they have that prey is near? I would make too much noise if I tried to get away now so I shrink into a ball and wait for them to move on.

They fight, as always. It never ceases to amaze me that the Careers stay together as long as they do. They do nothing but fight or hunt. The argument escalates and the District 1 boy stalks away. Cato and the girl don't seem to care and they take off in the opposite direction.

As soon as they're gone I slide out of the sleeping back and start to pack everything up. I can't stay here. Dawn is approaching and I want to get back to our meeting spot. I sling the pack onto my back and carefully begin to move, taking a third direction so I hopefully won't run into any of them. This route takes me closer to our third fire spot and further from the place we're to meet, but I'll circle around once I'm sure I'm clear of them.

I have to move slowly, since it's still pretty dark, but the trees are a little closer together here, making it easier to jump between them. When the sun comes up I stop to eat something. I allow myself a rest, since I didn't sleep well or long, then I continue on my way. When I hear a rustling sound I freeze. It could be Katniss, but she's usually quieter. I can't see anything and I hear another soft rustling. Maybe she came looking for me at the third fire site when I didn't show. Cautiously, I sing out our four note signal. A mockingjay picks it up and the song hops away from me like a stone on water. Then the call comes back to me, faint, but clear.

Relief thuds through my veins and I make my way down from the tree. "Katniss," I call softly. Then suddenly something falls around me. I try to turn and run, try to get back into the tree, but as I move I tangle myself up even worse. My fingers snag on the net, my feet twist and I tumble to the ground. He steps out from behind a tree. The boy from District 1. I scream. I shouldn't, but I do. I can't help myself. I scream again. How could I be so stupid. How could I fall for this. I should have been smarter, waited for Katniss to show herself. And now I'm going to die.

The boy moves toward me and I scream again. This time it's Katniss' name that I call over and over. The boy recoils slightly, his eyes darting around. He's afraid of her. "Katniss!" I call and I hear her answer.

"Rue!" Her voice fills me with strength and I push myself up from the ground and call her name one more time. The boy sees me move and before I can do anything else, just as Katniss bursts through the bushes, he strikes.

I see the spear. I feel it, but I can't figure out what happened. I look down and there it is, coming out of my body. The boy and I fall at the same moment. The spear pulls me over, down and I curl around it, trying to make sense of it.

Katniss is at my side. She's frantic, looking for more, but I know there is no one else around. She can't hear me at first and I have to say no over and over. Just like I called her name. The net is still all around me and Katniss cuts it away. I can't breathe. I can't think. Katniss stares at me, at the wound, at this piece of wood that has suddenly become part of me. I hold my hand out to her and she grabs it. She looks so lost. I have to distract her.

"You blew up the food?" I ask.

"Every little bit," she says.

I keep talking, but I don't know what I'm saying. She answers, but her words don't make sense. There's pain now.

A cannon fires and for a moment I think I've died, but I can still feel Katniss' hand in mine, so I know I'm still here. I don't want her to leave, but she looks so sad.

"Sing," I ask her. She looks at me and I try to draw in a breath, but it hurts too much. My eyes flutter as she begins. It's a song I don't think I've ever heard. It's soft, like feathers, wrapping me up. It makes me feel safe. I try to breathe again and it's even harder. I can't open my eyes anymore. All I can feel is her hand and the music and then it's dark and warm and I hear a mockingjay call out and I know I'm good and safe.

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And there you have it. Thanks to Mia for hosting such an imaginative blogfest. I just wish my imagination had been a little better, but I can't wait to read what everyone else is going to post!

14 comments:

Mia said...

OMG OMG OMG!! This is brilliant!!

*stares at picture of toast*

You posted that pictue for meee? *clutches chest* Thank you :~)

These are both brilliant! (OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WROTE NOT ONE BUT TWO!!)

I love the first one because I think Bella's dependence on Edward annoys a lot of people (including me) and the second one is about RUE!! I loved Rue from the moment go :~D

Thank you so much for taking part! You're the best!!

Mia said...

I'm sorry, I had to comment again. I HAVE MY OWN TAG AT THE BOTTOM? THAT IS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!

*coughs* I mean, um, great stuff...

Lisa and Laura said...

Something tells me I'd like your version of Twilight much better than the original!

Kristie Cook said...

Nice job! I really like the Rue scene. Almost had as many tears flowing as the original. I didn't do this fest because I just don't think I can do characters who aren't mine justice. You did it awesomely!

BTW, you might want to stop by my blog and check out Saturday's post. ;-)

Charity Bradford said...

Wow, I thought both of these were great. I too like your Bella better.

You swept me along with both pieces. Nice job!

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@Mia: I'm glad you liked it. I know, I love Rue so, so, so much and it makes me cry every time I read it *sob*
Thanks again for hosting it! and yes, you totally deserve your own tag :)

@LiLa: haha! Glad you liked it :)

@Kristie: Wow, to think I actually evoked emotion amazes me, cause it felt so rough to me. I'm glad you liked it.

@Charity: Yeah, I'm team Jacob, not because I necessarily wanted the two of them together, but because I liked Bella better when she was with him :) thanks

Mary McDonald said...

My daughter loves Jacob so I should show her your scene. She'd love it too. lol. She even has the Jacob doll--and he's shirtless. ;-P

Raquel Byrnes said...

How I wish..WISH this was a real scene in the book. What a difference a little back bone makes.

Alexis said...

I always got so so sick of Bella depending on Edward so much, glad you gave her a backbone!!

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@Mary: Yeah, I'm a Jacob fan too :)

@Raquel: I know, right!? Just a little more strength would have given her so much more character.

@Alexis: I agree, hence the "deleted scene" :) Glad you liked it :)

Tessa Conte said...

I love the forceful Bella! I always thought she was too much of a...well not pushover but something like that...in the book. I haven't read the Hunger Games (but I have it in my to-read box of books) but I LOVE your scene so I'm gonna have to dig out that book right now this instant...

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

This was really good, Rebecca! Very cool. I haven't read either of the books, but have heard so much about them. I think it's time I start to immerse myself in the loop!

Dawn Embers said...

Nice work with the Bella scene. Not a Twilight reader but even I know many complain about her lack of gumption (I saw The Holiday a couple days ago, lol). I haven't read the second book, on the shelf of books to read at the moment so I'll just skip that one.

Must be nice to get through an issue with a book by writing the problem out yourself. I might try that sometime once I've read more.

AchingHope said...

Ooh... I love them both :)