This Movie Changed My Life

I recently watched a movie that forever changed my life. That movie was “Princess Caraboo”.

This is possibly THE worst cover I have ever seen in my entire life.

Contrary to appearances, Princess Caraboo was actually quite attractive.

It all started innocently enough. As AchingHope and I were heading out to the library, our brother, Dave, asked us to pick him up a good movie. We perused the DVD section and my eyes fell on “Princess Caraboo” and I knew it would be the perfect movie to tease him with. So we got it, mainly as a joke, and returned home. (We also picked up “Creature From the Black Lagoon” for him, so he was happy. No. Seriously.)

Well, since we had the movie, AchingHope and I decided that we should watch it before returning it. Just for kicks.

I don’t want to give away the twist at the end, but I thought I would review the movie for you here so everyone can understand the wonder that is “Princess Caraboo.”

As you can tell from the title, this is a movie about a girl that is wandering in Regency England wearing a pair of trousers, a rough shirt and a turban. She is found and brought to a nearby town. The vicar decides that she must be someone important. This is obvious because she is dressed oddly, carries her head at an angle and can speak no English.

I am a Princess as you can tell by my grungy shirt and exotic hand gestures.

The vicar brings her to the Worrells. For no apparent reason. At first, Mrs. Worrell takes her in.

You can tell how important we are - our furniture is made out of shells!

but then, Mr. Worrell sends her to the magistrate.

The magistrate wishes to imprison or hang her for begging, but Cute Vagrant Boy stands up for her. Unfortunately, he is already under penalty of imprisonment, so his word means nothing. Also unfortunately, Creepy Stalker Journalist stands up for her too. Not so unfortunately Mrs. Worrell shows up. The magistrate agrees to leave her in the custody of the Worrells.

I am a Cute Vagrant Boy. Therefore my word means nothing

I am a Creepy Stalker Journalist. Therefore my word means everything.

She returns to the Worrell's house where she astounds them by refusing to allow them to take off her turban, stating her name as Caraboo and writing in a strange, unknown language.

This is the universal signal for leave my hat alone!

The servants of the house are jealous, particularly the French butler – Frank Sauce. He is my favorite character. His outfits alone are worth watching the movie

Frank Sauce is Saucey!

Of course the only logical conclusion everyone can come to is that Caraboo must be an Oriental Princess. So the family spends a small fortune on clothing, a fancy four poster princess bed and whatever else Caraboo desires. Fortunately, she cannot speak English, so she doesn’t ask much.

You can tell I am a Princess because I have declared my own fashions!

Plaid must always be worn with floral.

Through a series of misadventures including cigar smoking,

praying on the roof,

standing on a ladder behind a tree,

and dancing with the creepily insane Prince Regent,

Caraboo wins the hearts of everyone around her. Mainly because Mr. Worrell sees her as a way to gain confidence from investors for his business in the West Indies and because everyone else sees her as a novelty.

Except the servants. They decide they actually really like her.

To the Princess Caraboo!

Everyone is happy until creepy, stalker journalist (also known as Mr. Grouch) decides to poke his nose into her business.

She had a book in English! Therefore she must be a fraud!

He decides that she may not actually be an Oriental Princess and sets out to ruin everyone's fun. However, he does this while claiming that if she really had taken everyone in and made everything up then he would "cherish her forever". Um.... STALKER! Creepy! Stalker!

I will climb a wall to break into the Prince Regent's Palace

to prove you are a fraud because I love you!

I will not give away the twist, but I will say this is the first chick flick-esque movie where I have actually pleaded with the movie for it not to end with a kiss.

They may have had me choose you in the movie,

but I'm glad I don't actually have to kiss my stalker, 'cause that would just be awkward...

I would have ended the movie with Caraboo getting on the ship and discovering that Cute Vagrant Boy was working on it while Creepy Stalker Journalist got run over by a horse. Now that would have been a good ending.