Retail Wednesday puts the pressure on

This was kind of a lame week. Ah well, you can't have total idiocy all the time apparently. It's kind of funny, because I should be glad that I had less crazy to deal with, but instead I'm kinda bummed out. Oh the life of a writer.

But now... on to the awards!

Clueless Award:

A woman approached me and asked for books on card tricks. I start leading her to the section.

Woman: You have a bargain kit out front, but I don't need the whole thing, just a book. (holds out a doodle bargain book that she is carrying) I also need something like this, but do you have anything that's cheaper.

Me: (looking at the book which is $4.99) Other than that, we're just going to have stuff in the regular kids section and the ones similar to this are going to be at least $10.

Woman: (sighs exasperatedly and shakes her head)

Me: (arriving at the section) Here's a book on card tricks.

Woman: (takes the book and then answers her phone and begins talking. I turn to walk away. Her hand shoots out to stop me. She points at the back of the book with a frown and a furrowed brow) Don't you have anything less expensive?

Me: (looking at the $7.95 price label) no, that's actually a really good price for that size book.

Woman: (glares at me as though I personally am charging her double what she should have to pay.)

Now, I know that some books seem overpriced, but seriously? $5 and $8 are "expensive"? Where are you normally buying your books, because I don't think it's at a regular bookstore.

I'm not paying more than $2.38 for that book and that's final!

Phone Freak Award:

I answer the phone. A woman is looking for a specific anatomy book. I check and the computer says we may have a copy. I put her on hold and check the section. It's not there so I check the adjoining sections as well, since the nursing and medical books tend to get shuffled around constantly by customers. No luck. It has taken me a while so I'm a little afraid she'll be annoyed for waiting. I hurry back to the phone and pick up the call.

Me: I'm sorry, it looks like we're sold out of it right now.

Woman: Really?

Me: Yes, I just checked through the whole section to make sure it wasn't misplaced and we don't have it. We have other anatomy books, but not that one right now.

Woman: Well, does the computer say you have it?

Me: (why do customers think computers are more reliable than humans?) Well, it says we might have a copy, but I've been through the section and couldn't find it.

Woman: Well, is it possible that someone moved it and it's there, but in the wrong spot?

Me: That's why I checked through the whole section (is there an echo in here?), but it's not there.

Woman: It couldn't be anywhere else?

Me: Well, there's always that possibility, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
Woman: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. (No, I'm lying to you. I am actually holding four copies in my hand, but I don't like you so mwa hahahahahaha >:)

Woman: (grunts in exasperation and hangs up)

I dunno, if you really don't trust someone else to look for you, then maybe you should just come to the store yourself.

This is where we hide the books from customers.

Awww... Shucks Award:

And this is to show that not all customers that come in are clueless, rude and/or annoying.

An older couple asked me for the book Stones Into Schools. I begin to lead them over to the section when the husband asks me if it's come out in paperback. I say, no, not yet. It's a fairly recent book and it usually takes about 6-12 months for books to come out in paperback. They nod. The wife asks her husband who the author of the book is. He says he can't remember, but that he wrote that other book, too. I smile and say Greg Mortenson who also wrote Three Cups of Tea. The husband says, Oh right! and we arrive in the section. I hand the husband the book and they both thank me. As I walk away I overhear the woman say, "Wow, she's certainly very knowledgable."

I'm telling you that fuzzy feeling lasted for a while :)

Okay, so I'm not THIS knowledgeable.

Not the Brightest Crayon in the Box Award:

A woman asks me for Romeo and Juliet. I lead her over to the Shakespeare section where we find the multiple printings. She looks at the different books rather helplessly and asks me which one is better. I explain that they're all going to have the same story, but some of them have notes, some of them have a modern English translation along with the original. She says her daughter needs it for a school project. I recommend one. She is flipping through a copy and then stops and looks at me.

"Wait, this is a play with acts and scenes and stuff. I just need the regular book."

D'oh!

So that's my kinda lame Retail Wednesday. Hopefully more crazies show up during the rest of spring break so next week's is a bit better.

Also... I have now passed 30 followers (yippee!).

I can hardly believe it! Thank you to everyone who reads my ramblings... this is so much fun.