"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I'm a Writer, I'm a Writer Not, I'm a Writer, I'm a Writer Not...

Most of my life I have considered myself that mystical being known as "A Writer". I still have the first full story that I remember crayoning down when I was six. I began my first novel at the ripe old age of 12 and took a course through the Children's Institute of Literature when I was 17.

However, in recent months I have seriously begun to question whether I have the right to call myself "A Writer". Most of you will probably say, you are writing this post, silly goose. Of COURSE you're a writer.

I write, but does that make me a writer? In that I am doing the verb of writing, then yes. But when I pop around to your many marvelous blogs I have consistently found myself on author's and aspiring author's and agent's pages. As I read your determination to hone your craft, to write consistently, to aim toward the grand goal of publication I realize that I do not have this same intense drive.

Writing is something that I will do my entire life. I will always write. I will probably blog often now that I have gotten into the habit and have so much fun with it. I will write fiction, but it is so much more a hobby to me then a grand life's pursuit. Do I want to get published? Yes, I think that would be amazing. But I am not meeting with a writer's group and sending out query letters and actively editing my one finished WIP.

Maybe I'm just feeling a bit in the doldrums and AchingHope will probably beat me over the head for saying all of this. (in an exasperated loving way, of course) But it's kind of been going on for a while now. So I thought I would be brave enough to put this out there.

Have any of you gone through this kind of feeling? Is it something that passed?

I originally was going to post about how I've decided to do Script Frenzy this April.

It's put together by the same wonderful folks that sponsor NaNoWriMo and I am doing it for multiple reasons...

-To give me a goal to work for and a reason to write every day (and by reason I mean kick in the pants)

-To give myself something new and fresh to work on in a medium that I have never attempted before

-To put myself out there where anyone can look and think, boy, why did she even decide to do this? if I'm being a lazy bum and not writing.

So are any of you doing Script Frenzy? 'cause if you are then we should totally be writing buddies. That will keep me even more in line :)

My screen name is the same there as it is here and if you need to check by e-mail it's sonshinemusic(at)gmail(dot)com.

2 more things that I will try your patience with.

1. I am going to attempt to do a Writer's Sunday post every week. Getting in the habit of Retail Wednesday has kept me posting regularly and note-taking daily. I'm hoping that getting in the habit of posting about my writing will do the same thing. I just KNOW it will inspire me to work if I'm afraid of coming on and saying, ummm... yeah, so I wrote 3 words this week.

2. This post is so up and down I don't even know where I'm ending, but I feel a ton better than when I started it. Thank you to all of you who post about your writing trials, triumphs, victories and failures. (especially to Falen and Y.F.N. Palindrome aka Hannah) It has been a huge encouragement to me to try to be more consistent.

So, am I "A Writer"? I don't know, but I think I want to try to find out and it'll be a lot more fun with you guys along for the ride.


AchingHope said...

Okay, where's the stick? ;) Just kiddin'

You are a Writer. But you're also a Teacher. You've been a Teacher for a long time, just maybe didn't realize it until now. So you have the two sides of you battling it out... And sometimes the Teacher side wins.

*sigh* I suppose I will do Script Frenzy. If only to keep you company. Oh, yeah. And so that I can pass my class.

Falen said...

Janet Reid says if you've finished a manuscript, then you're a writer.
But also, if you write, well then you're a writer

Dangerous With a Pen said...

I've decided that I don't have to decide whether or not to call myself a writer. :) It's cool with me. If anyone asks what I do, I tell them I'm a teacher. After all, that's my Real Job. :) The people close to me know that I write and I'm trying to expand that circle through blogging and loving it. But I don't have the time with my job and kids and life to write ALL THE TIME like I wish I could. C'est la vie. I try not to put the pressure on myself because I love to write and I want it to remain fun. :) I do hope to publish one day, but the reality is that I need a paycheck and that job (which I also love) comes before the writing. I teach kids to write, though... and read, and do math, and... does that count? Lol...

Palindrome said...

I am not doing Script Frenzy. I'm not a script writer.

I am in fact a fiction writer. Writing is my real job. If I had all the money in the world and didn't have to have a day job, I would write. But I've only really recognized this in the past year...I've been going back and forth over the years. I have thankfully realized my purpose and that's to write. Whether I'm published or not, I will never stop.

Live what you love.

Palindrome said...

OH, and you're welcome!! I'm not really that inspirational but it's nice to know someone's benefiting from my insanity!! mu-hahahahaha!!

Teebore said...

Have any of you gone through this kind of feeling? Is it something that passed?

Honey, I call 'em "weekdays".

Not a day (okay, maybe more like a week) goes by that I don't question my having stuck my flag in the land of "writing" and whether or not I really should be doing it, whether I have the stuff to make it, whether I'm any good, whether I'll ever get published, etc.

The fact remains, I WANT to write. I imagine stories and come up with ideas and I want and need to write them down.

Personally, I reached a point in my life where I realized there was SO MUCH I wanted to write that it couldn't just be a hobby anymore, that I had to work at making it my full time job (work which has been met with something less than success, but we're still plugging away!). But there's nothing wrong with wearing many hats (most of us do) and just because you don't want to write full time doesn't mean you're not a writer.

So yeah, I wrestle with self-doubt over my identity as a writer all the time. It passes, then comes back again. Sometimes I can hold it off longer than others, but I think massive self-doubt is the price we creative folk pay.

Juliegoose said...

I totally agree, you are a writer if you say you are. I also believe that its the characters in your story that keep you writing. If you love them you will do anything for them, kinda like your kids. You owe it to them to bring them to life!