Where is Thumbkin?

(prelude: This is kind of a long post. I can't really break it up, because it all goes together. But you have been warned. So don't look all:

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

when you get to the middle)

It all started with band practice.

See, I'm on one of the praise teams at my church. It's me and a couple I will call Matt and Darlene. Since it's just the three of us and they have a daughter (Kara) I usually go over to their house for practice. We had a great practice on Wednesday night and I left feeling quite happy.

Until I got about halfway down the road away from their house. My car started making a horrendous noise. I stopped, got out and my fears were confirmed: I had a flat tire. Flat as flat.

Clean Funny Picture - Santa Got A Flat Tire
Bwa hahaha!

Fortunately I was really close to their house still and they live in a really quiet subdivision. So I turned on the flashers and headed up the sidewalk back to their house.

Enter important facts:

1. There are virtually no street lights in their subdivision.
2. Everything is extremely hilly and their house is at the top of the hilliest part of the subdivision.
3. The sidewalks are not properly put in on the hills.

I got about halfway up the hill when I hit a patch of sidewalk where the concrete slab had settled creating a steplike affect. Which I couldn't see.

FACEPLANT (except without the actual planting of my face. I think my face was the only thing that didn't hit.)

I went down, crashing onto my knees and then falling forward slamming both hands into the concrete.

Ouch.

As I stumbled up the last bit to their house, cradling my bleeding thumb and trying not to cry, I realized how ridiculous I was going to look. Kind of like a scene from some thriller movie or something. These are the things my brain does to keep me sane.

I will haunt your dreams tonight...

Kara opened the door and her eyes got really wide as she took me in. Matt quickly offered to put on my spare and Kara went with him to hold the flashlight. Darlene helped me clean and bandage my right thumb (which the sidewalk had taken a chunk out of) and my left palm that kind of looked like it had hit a cheese grater. Lovely images I know. Then she announced that she was going to give me ice cream because ice cream makes everything better!

See? Even looking at this makes you feel better, doesn't it!?

The tire was replaced without incident, I made it home safely, and my wonderful father spent most of Thursday morning getting my car new tires, a rear end alignment, and an oil change.

My thumb continued to throb.

Do you know how important your thumbs are?! Try doing pretty much anything without one.

Things that are hard to do without a thumb:

1. Write. I'm right handed and this is my right thumb!
2. Get dressed.
3. Put on deodorant (surprisingly more difficult than you would think)
4. Eat.
5. Read. (yes. Turning the pages, holding it open - thumbs are important)
6. Type. I always hit the space bar with my right thumb. My brain is really confused.
7. Start the car.
8. Open a bottle of juice.
9. Pick things up.

See! Thumbs ARE important!
I can't believe this was the first thing on the page when I went looking for something on the LOLcats site!
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When I took off the bandage I realized that it was more than just a gouge. The whole thing was swollen and purple and I immediately freaked out that it was broken.

So Friday morning Dad drove me to the doctors. They exclaimed over the thumb. They took x-rays. They determined that it probably wasn't broken. Only dislocated.

I have a picture of the x-ray, but didn't want to just post it here in case anyone is squeamish. so click on this LINK to see how ridiculously out of place my thumb was.

After a long wait during which we watched the news about the earthquakes and tsunami (you would have thought that would have helped put my pain in perspective. I was horrified and saddened, but by George, my thumb still HURT!), and the last five minutes of Finding Nemo. Then they told us they were waiting for another doctor who would be comfortable popping my thumb back into place. He was late because he was attending a funeral (I feel like such a whiner because even this failed to make my pain less. Callous woman that I am. I just wanted to feel better).

You know, when this feels like the worst thing in the world.
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So Dad took me out to lunch. And then ran some other errands. And then went back.

The doctor had arrived. He looked at my thumb, grabbed hold of it and POP! um... ow! Shifted it back into place. They took more x-rays. It's better, but still not completely right. They're also concerned about tendon and ligament damage. So I get to have an MRI on Wednesday! I have never had an MRI before. I am trying not to freak out.

So I still can't use my thumb but it feels a lot better than it did on Thursday and Friday morning.

People keep asking me, oh what did you do to your thumb? And then they don't understand how I could dislocate it by falling down.

I'm just talented that way :)

Please Stand By

I know I said to come back today, but this has been an interesting couple of days, which I will share with you soon. Just know I am sorry for not keeping my promise *hangs head in shame* but all will be explained soon.

Retail Wednesday. Yup. That's Pretty Much It.

Prequel:

I was going to post this earlier, but then stuff happened. Not so fun stuff. So it's late. Maybe I will share the tale once I have perspective and can laugh at it.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled post:

Yeah! Retail Wednesday!

Yup. That's my introduction :) Aren't you shocked I didn't talk your ear off first? (I wrote this before stuff happened by the way)

Most Annoying Award:


I came up to the information desk and a customer was searching on the computer. I asked if she needed any help and noticed that she had alphabet and math flashcards up on the screen.

Woman: Yes, I'm looking for flashcards.

I feel like these would be good to warn people of my mood. I could post them on my desk :)

Me: (proud because I had just recently organized the learning flashcards) Sure they're right over here. (Start leading the customer towards the education center) What kind of flashcard do you need?

They actually sell these. To companies. Really.

Woman: For the NCLEX exam.

Me: Oh. Those would be in health. Sorry. (we've only gone about two steps. Turn around to direct her to the nursing review section)

Woman: I know. We've already looked over there. I bought some and now my friend is looking for them.

Me: Well, that section is the only place where we keep stuff like that, so if it's not on the shelf we must be sold out of it.

Woman: I bought them here.

Me: We might not have gotten more in yet. Or they sold out again, but we don't keep those anywhere else in the store.

Woman: How about in the back room?

Me: We're getting ready for inventory, so everything's been cleared out. I actually was one of the ones that worked on it so I know there's nothing back there.

Woman: So you're not even going to check for me? (disbelief and anger)

Me: I'm sorry, there's nothing back there for me to check. We could order it.

Woman: No. Forget it. (glares at me and stalks away)

It's at times like these that I almost want to walk in to the back room, chat with the inventory team for a couple of minutes and then walk back out shaking my head in regret. Maybe then she'd believe me.

I Can Has Cheezburger

Phone Freak Award:


Seriously! What is it with these people on the phone! I have one almost every single week!

J answers the phone.

Woman: I was wondering if you carried journals.

J: Yes, we carry quite a few.

Woman: What kinds do you have?

J: We have a whole section. There are a lot of different kinds.

SO MANY KINDS!

From HERE

Woman: Can you list them for me?

J: What are you looking for? Could you be more specific?

Woman: I just want to know which kinds you have before I come down there.

J: We have leather and cloth and poly and hard cover and spiral bound. We have large ones and small ones and medium ones. We have lined ones and plain paper ones.

Woman: Well, I don't know if you have the one I want. Are there other stores you could check with?

J: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!

From Evil Cowtown's Blog

And that's it for today! Thanks for stopping by and come back on Friday for a BRAND NEW FEATURE! Aren't you excited?! You should be!

Poor Old Michael Finnegan

I feel like I just wrote about this... oh wait, that's because I did... last week.

But this is torturing me!

So I realized I needed to change the beginning of my WIP. Which still doesn't have even a WORKING TITLE. Seriously How difficult can this BE? Why can't I just name the stupid thing!? Even if it's a lame name that I know will change?!

I keep coming up with really lame and corny and completely too long names like: How a Vampire, Faeries, Gnomes, and Zombies Ruined My Summer Vacation


See? Lame. Also too long. Also not really completely accurate.

Naomi said that I should call it A Conglomeration of Beings Imaginary and Otherwise


Which is hilarious but maybe not the best novel title.

But then I think of tragic, dark, also lame names like Hungry. That is even lamer.

And that is why I still call it my Layla story.

End tangent.

so I started doing research and was going to have Layla and Moira start out in a youth hostel in Germany. And I found some pretty cool stuff out. Like the fact that some of the hostels are actually IN CASTLES. Yes, like you sleep IN A CASTLE. How freakin' amazing is that?! And that Germany is where the first youth hostels were. Some dude invented them there. You can tell that I didn't do my research THAT carefully.

So I started with them getting up in the morning at the hostel. But it didn't work. So I moved back to the night before at dinner. Which was a pretty hilarious scene, but didn't work either. See, they have to be kinda far from civilization when they discover the castle, so there would be a couple of days hiking through the woods/hills/etc. before I got to anything exciting. So that seemed boring and too long. Besides which, when I started there it seemed SO far back and it was going to take way too long to get to Erandell and Tavares.

See, I head hop - switching between third person limited perspectives - so spending like 15 pages only in Layla's head (like my professor suggested) would make the jump to Erandell so abrupt and weird (in my opinion).

So I started with them two days out from the hostel, eating lunch and managed to weave in the most important things that everyone said was necessary to know. I think it works better now. I also can do an earlier scene with Erandell which will hopefully explain some of the questions people had about her.

A big complaint people had was that too much happens too quickly. But it's AFTER they get trapped in the castle that we get to know them better. I don't know. I'm feeling very conflicted and I'm stuck again. I've been spending my writing time reading Hyperbole and a Half, which is absolutely hilarious and you all need to read this post about the ALOT like right now.

This is an ALOT and it is drawn by Allie Bosch at Hyperbole and a Half. She rocksocks and so does her blog.

This is not productive, though it is immensely entertaining.

I apologize for the ramblingness of this post.

Are you stuck on a part of your WIP? Is there something you just can't quite get right? Do tell. It will make me feel better. Honest.

PS: did you get my little joke for a title? You know that old kid's song? After "Poor old Michael Finnegan" the song goes "begin again" Yeah. Lame. I told you I have a hard time with titles!

PPS: I just realized that I started about 5 paragraphs with the words, "So I started." I clearly am a failure as a writer and a blogger and an English major. Especially since I am merely coming here to add a long PPS instead of actually fixing the repetitiveness. Lame.

A random Sunday thing

This BBC America commercial played at the beginning of the 3 Dr. Who DVDs that we've watched recently. I crack up every time I see it. Every. Time. I think I've seen it about 7 times now and I still crack up. so watch it and laugh with me :D

And We're Back

Retail Wednesday returns to your computer screen after a two week hiatus. I feel like a tv show (yes, I'm mad at you, Vampire Diaries, with your month long hiatus :[ )

Not working and getting sick have many downsides, not the least of which is missing Retail Wednesdays. I missed you guys.

so.... On to the awards!

Phone Freak Award:


One of our office lines used to be the number for Foot Locker. Like 6 years ago. I may have done a similar story (can't remember) but this one was new and kind of took the cake.

J: (answers the phone) Thank you for calling Borders, how may I help you?

Guy: Um, I was looking for Foot Locker.

J: I'm sorry. This is Borders.

Guy: Well, can you transfer me?

Densest Customer Award:


A customer comes up to the register with some bargain books.

Woman: The sign said that these are only a dollar?

Jo: Yes, all the blue stickered bargain is a dollar.

Woman: Even if they're marked $2.99?

Jo: Yup, all the blue ones.

Woman: Even the $4.99 ones?

Jo: Yes.

Woman: What about if they're marked $5.99?

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Odd Question Award:


I was working in an aisle when R led a teenage girl into the section to show her the Nicholas Sparks books.

Girl: So which of his books are about kids?

R: I know The Notebook has teenagers. (she looks over at me) Do you know? I'm not really familiar with his books.

Me: I've read a few. The Notebook does and A Walk to Remember.

Girl: The Last Song is about kids too.

R: I don't know any of his others.

Me: The Guardian is good, but it's not about teenagers and The Wedding is kind of like a sequel to The Notebook but it's not about teenagers either. I haven't read any others.

Girl: So which ones are for kids?

Me: um... Well, The Notebook and A Walk to Remember have teenagers in them, but none of them are really kids books.

Girl: But those have kids in them?

Me: Yes...... (didn't I just say that?)

Girl: Okay, thanks (pulls out cell phone and calls someone) Hi! Which Nicholas Sparks books do you have. I'm at the bookstore. .... But which ones have kids?

R and I exchange looks and walk away.

And read Nicholas Sparks
Okay, this picture actually has nothing to do with anything, but it made me laugh so... that's reason enough to share!

And that's it for today! Have a happy week and I'll catch y'all later!

PS I have always enjoyed LOLCats, but I am using them more often now, because of this post and this follow up post, that Laura Marcella so kindly shared with us, that reminded me that you never know where pictures on Google search are coming from and I'm kind of freaked out that I might infringe on someone else's rights. I Can has Cheezburger clearly allows people to share, and always has a link back to the source and I set up an account so I can make my own if nothing really fits. So now you know :)

Reboot

Sorry for my absence on the blogosphere this week. This cold attacked my head last Tuesday and it just doesn't seem to get the hint that I want it to go away! Usually I can kick a cold in a couple days, but ... this one is particularly stubborn.

But you didn't come over here to listen to me moan about my nose.

No! You came for some writerly stuff!

The critique last week went really well. I got a lot of super helpful feedback. And it was completely overwhelming.

I came home, stowed away the written responses, and proceeded to hide from my WIP for the rest of the week. Which meant that I basically didn't write anything, breaking my 100WAD pledge, which made me feel bad, but didn't keep me from making excuses.

Then, on Friday, I got a lovely e-mail from my CP. It's kind of creepy how Lindsey knew that I needed a kick in the pants. She totally didn't even mention the fact that I wasn't writing, but it was in the subtext (or maybe that was just me) and she oh-so-subtly reminded me that FEBRUARY ENDS ON MONDAY!

Which means it's time for us to exchange stuff again.

Oops.

Now here's where it gets creepy cool and where I realized, once again, that Lindsey and I were practically designed to be CPs.

Lindsey told me that, based on comments she'd received from me and her sisters and on thinking and pondering she had done, she realized that the best thing to do would be to rework the beginning before she moves on.

At the SAME TIME I was realizing that, based on the fiction workshop critique and thinking and pondering I had done, I needed to rework the beginning before I move on much further.

Spooky, right?!

The biggest comment I received was that no one knew how old my main character was and that based on the first 2 pages, everyone thought they talked like middle school kids (I totally don't see that, but SO many people agreed. Which is the point of writer's groups, I guess - to see what you don't) but then thought the characters acted like they were in high school or college. So I need to establish their ages and characters first to show why they goof around and sometimes talk like middle schoolers.

I jump straight into the fantasy world, but the suggestion was made to establish the real world first, which would help to frame the characters and their lives, before we get to the castle and the faeries and the vampires.

so I've spent the last few days researching Germany and youth hostels and culinary schools and stuff.

Lesson: don't try to short cut. It doesn't work. I jumped right into fantasy world so I wouldn't have to do all this research. That was effective.

But the good thing is that I'm learning this NOW and now after I've rewritten the whole thing, so I can whack and fix and add and delete before I carry on and the story will be much better for it.

How about you? Ever had to change the beginning when you really wanted to just keep plugging away at the middle?

Cold Zone

I had half a Retail Wednesday post all ready to go, but then a cold attacked my face and I couldn't finish it. Maybe I'll post it tomorrow. Until then, enjoy the following as a token of my affection:

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

*mwah* See all y'all later!

And Then Came the Critique

Rewriting a book is HARD.

Okay, so maybe that's kind of an obvious statement.

I thought I got all the pantsing out of the way during NaNoWriMo. Um, yeah. Apparently not.

The event that was supposed to be the climax of the novel has suddenly become the conflict and turning point, which means that all the stuff that was supposed to happen in the sequel has to be reworked and reconsidered, because it has to happen now.

Don't even ask me how that happened. Because I have no idea.

But it's kind of exciting, because I feel like the story is going to be much better now!

In other crazy exciting news, I got my first official critique back a couple of weeks ago. Having a Crit Partner is pretty much the best thing ever. Especially a CP that you can e-mail with any and everything, be honest with, make Clue jokes with, and keep discovering that you have more and more in common with.

Lindsey and I kind of fell into this together, both thinking that it would be fun/ challenging/ good/ encouraging/ incentive to take the journey of writing a novel together. We set a deadline of the end of the month for exchanging sections and did our first critique at the end of January/beginning of February.

As Lindsey said in her post, critiquing someone is HARD WORK. You're trying to balance suggestions, grammar stuff, and positive comments (which was pretty easy, because I loved her turns of phrase and the concept behind the story). You're trying to be helpful, but not too critical, but not too nice, because she asked me to whack it apart if I needed to. Talk about a brain twister.

But I think (hope) that I was helpful and I found her comments so helpful in doing revisions on my own story. I feel like we get each other and that we understand each other's stories and I'm really excited to think about how much better we'll get at supporting, encouraging, and critiquing each other.

In more terrifying news, tonight my first three chapters get workshopped in my Fiction Writing grad class. Getting comments from one person is one thing. Having your work hashed out in class by some strangers (and some friends) while you have to sit there silently is something completely different.

Eek.

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But I want this story to be the best it can be so I say... bring it on.

Even though tonight I'll probably be hiding under my covers avoiding my WIP.

Not a Retail Wednesday. But fun to be had nonetheless

HI Everybody! I had such a randomly good day yesterday, an amazing night's sleep and I am so ready to attack the world!

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But then I remembered that today was Wednesday and I kind of freaked out over the fact that I have no new stories for Retail Wednesday, since meetings at school required me to not work this past week *shakes fist of fury*

But then I saw this blogfest was going on and I thought it would be a lot of fun! So, go check out Nicole Ducleroir's post if you want to join in! I made it at the last minute, so you could too (I suppose, you'd really have to double check with her, but she's not the type to leave people out)

And since I didn't do a Writerly Monday, I figured why not keep the weekly mix up streak going.

But first, a little random, because I know you expect it on Wednesday

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So the point of the blogfest is to fill out the following questionnaire so we can all get to know each other a little better. And what could be more fun than learning more about our bloggy buddies? Here we go!

1. What is your favorite word? Oh man, this totally changes. I love the word HENCEFORTH. No idea why, I just like to say it. Also sesquipedalian is totally one of my favorite words of all time. Because it means a lover of big words and it's a giant word and it makes me smile.
2. What is your least favorite word? taxes. (can you tell it's January? I mean February? I mean, the time of year when we have to file taxes?) No, but seriously, I really don't like profanity. It drives me crazy. I don't use it, I have learned to block it out, but I don't like it (Wow, that was maybe a little too blunt. But it's true, so.... um. yeah. Y'all know I love you and your blogs.)
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? A really good story. Whether in a book, short story, tv show, movie, song. I love a proper story (usually with a happy ending) Something that moves me and usually if it makes me cry, whether with happiness or sadness, it makes a much longer lasting impact.
4. What turns you off? gratuitousness. Whether violence, adverbs, whatever. Use something too much and for no reason and it drives me up the wall.
5. What is your favorite curse word? See #2. But I do find ways to relieve my excitement or irritation, I just like to get creative with it. My favorite expression right now, which I actually used in class and got a lot of strange looks over is: What the Hay Bale! <--now come on, isn't that more entertaining than a standard curse word?
6. What sound or noise do you love? Laughter. Laughing makes me laugh, which tends to make other people laugh, which in turn makes me laugh more, which makes other people laugh - it's a vicious and hilarious cycle. A group from our church went to see this comedian, Tim Hawkins. Funniest guy ever. My sister and I do full body laughing where we literally double over and kind of rock back and forth. Well, we were doing it in unison and the people from our group that sat behind us were laughing more at Naomi and me than at the comedian at times. True story.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Arguing. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard to hear other people arguing (note to self: why doesn't this keep you from arguing, you toadstool?). I usually have to leave the area. I mean real out and out arguing, not playful banter arguing or fake arguing.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? My greatest dream, if I wasn't doing what I'm doing, is to be a Muppeteer. Dead. Serious. I grew up doing muppet puppets with my parents and our church. We've performed at local schools, community events, church events. I love it. I think it's so much fun and I would love to work with the Muppet team. Love. It.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Nursing. Totally not my cup of tea. I really don't think I could handle it in anyway. And also, I really don't like science, so that adds to my lack of interest.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Well done, good and faithful servant

So, there you have it. Maybe more about me than you ever wanted to know. I guess I went the honest route and not the goofy route... Can't wait to get around to some of y'all's blogs and find out more about you! Woohoo! 

Ahem. Palatable.

I know it's supposed to be Writerly Monday, but I have been swamped this week.

Besides, today is S.A.D. aka Singleness Awareness Day aka Valentine's Day.

So I've decided to opt for something different and FUN and totally shallow*. But I will tie it in to writing somehow...

I love a good character, but I especially love a good male tv character. I'm not one to moon over/crush on actors or other famous people. But I totally crush on characters, because for me, the biggest thing that makes a guy ... palatable or not is his attitude and behavior. Totally. And watching them helps me to write them.

So here is my second list of

FAKE PEOPLE I FIND PALATABLE


In no particular order and usually based on tv shows/movies that I have recently been obsessed with.

*Hey, I only do one totally shallow post a year, so come back later for the intellectual stuff.


Nick from "When in Rome" which is one of my favorite movies from last year. I actually went to see it in the theatre, which I RARELY do with romcoms, and I fell in love with it. So. Cute.

 The Tenth Doctor... David Tennant=genius

Chandler Bing. Classic. And surprisingly difficult to find a good picture of. Where is the Chandler love?! And how absolutely thrilled am I to see Matthew Perry return to tv? Mr. Sunshine's debut totally cracked me up.

Xander Harris. Especially after this magnificent speech in S7. Caution, mild spoilers in the video. But I watched it like 3 seasons ago and it made me even more invested in the characters, so...

Damon Salvatore. Perfect proof that it's the character that gets me, not necessarily the actor or the appearance. Hated Boone on Lost. Okay, maybe disliked is a better term. But Damon? Seriously. Best reason to watch Vampire Diaries. And after reading Kiersten White's recap I will forever talk about "Damon Eye Thing."





















Topher Brink from Dollhouse. I watched this show streaming on NetFlix (my BFF) both seasons in about 2 weeks. Joss Whedon is my hero. I loved Topher from the beginning even though you really shouldn't. And then... well. Spoilers people. Seriously. Go watch this show. It will blow your mind. And you get to see this adorable face...

Richard Castle. All right. I know I said no particular order, but I had to leave this for last because, as much as I adore Castle, I have to admit that Nathan Filion is kind of the only actor I totally could crush on. I have loved everything I've seen him in. Everything. And I've heard personal stories from people who have attested to the all around goodness of the actual person. Win. Just total win.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Retail Wednesday with a BONUS!

It's that day again. Time for me to get my snark on and share with the world some of the more interesting requests and events of my last week in retail :D

Irony Award:


A woman came to the desk and asked if we had a specific book. I knew we did, so I started to lead her toward the section. She thanked me profusely and said she hadn't been able to find it anywhere else. As I was handing her the paperback copy of the book she had asked for, she gestured toward the information desk where we have our e-readers on display and asked:

"So, is the whole store going digital?"

Found HERE
It's all gone digital - see the book flying back onto the shelf?!

In a very worried tone. I assured her that we were going to keep carrying books and that I didn't think they were going away for a long time.

Okay, so I know that this is a really hot topic and that some people are very anti-e-reader and that digital books are taking off. But my inner snark found it absolutely hilarious that she should ask the question in that particular way AS I was handing her a bound book she hadn't been able to find elsewhere.

Found HERE
Okay, so this has absolutely nothing to do with the story,
but it was too hilarious NOT to share!

Strangest Request Award:


A man was sitting at the information desk, browsing through the catalog. I asked if there was anything that I could help him with and he said no, the things he wanted needed to be ordered. I explained our shipping policy and told him to let me know if he had more questions and moved on to the next customer. About twenty minutes later, as I was working on a project, he approached me.

Man: I tried looking in the section for other books, but I can't find anything on the topic.

Me: What are you looking for?

Man: Well, I checked in science, but I can't find any books on oxygen.

Me: What kind of book do you need?

Man: Just a book about oxygen.

Me: Like the element? Or like absorbing oxygen (thinking maybe a health book)

Man: No, just about oxygen itself.

Found HERE
Again, not sure what this has to do with anything,
But what does a PIRATE have to do with OXYGEN?
Maybe that's why the guy needed a book
To answer these burning questions!

BONUS STORY!


There is an elderly man that lives just down the street from our church. My dad and brother were helping him to de-ice his driveway and porch.

As my dad is standing on the porch in his bright purple snowmobile suit, chipping away at the ice, a woman driving by stops suddenly and starts yelling out her window.

Woman: Excuse me.

Dad: (not realizing that she is talking to him)

Woman: (irritated) Excuse me!

Dad: I'm sorry?

Woman: There is ice on the road at the corner. (waves back the direction she came)

Dad: I'm sorry?

Woman: There's ice on the road at the corner and I just almost skidded on it.

Dad: ...

Woman: Well, someone needs to take care of it.

Dad: I'm sorry, I'm just helping a neighbor clear some ice. I don't do anything with the roads.

Woman: It's a hazard. Someone needs to clear the ice there.

Dad: I don't even live here. I don't work for the county or anything.

Woman: Well, if you're not going to do anything about it, then you need to call someone who will. (closes her window and squeals away).

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Aren't people hilarious!?

And I'm out! As one of my colleagues says, Peace out, cub scouts!

The Thirteenth Tale; or Beginnings, Middles, and Ends

Since I have such a long commute, I started pulling out my audiobooks again. This way I can read while driving and get to some of the books I want to read, but don't have time to physically pick up the book and get through it.

I haven't had a chance to get to the library, and I don't have the ability to do the whole audible.com thing right now, so I perused my shelves for something to re-listen to. I started with The Secret Garden, which I haven't read in ages. I love these classic children's tales so much.

Finished that one in less than a week, so I grabbed The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield next.

This has become one of my all time favorite books. I've read it once and this is the second time I'll be listening to it. I also had the good fortune of winning a copy from Hannah during her creepy story competition. (Hannah isn't creepy. Much. And the competition wasn't creepy, the story we had to write was supposed to be creepy. Just to clarify)

(by the way this is my lame, I have too much to do, so I'll cop out and use quotes for my Writerly Monday post)

As I've been listening, there are a couple of quotes that I was dying to share with someone, but I couldn't, because I was driving, so I couldn't even TWEET them. This was agony, so I decided to do a post and share some of my favorites with you.

"When fear and cold make a statue of you in your bed,

don't expect hard-boned and fleshless truth to come running to your aid.

What you need are the plump comforts of a story.

The soothing, rocking safety of a lie."

Talk about truth. How many of us write or read for just this reason? One of my all time favorite quotes is from L. M. Montgomery's Emily Climbs (sidenote, if you are a female and a writer, you need to read these books. I adore them more than I can ever say. In fact, just read everything Montgomery ever wrote. You will be INSPIRED. But that's food for another post)

"I shall always end my stories happily.

I don't care whether it's 'true to life' or not.

It's true to life as it should be

and that's a better truth than the other."

Which brings me to another quote from The Thirteenth Tale.

"Of course all stories have beginnings, middles and endings;

it is having them in the right order that matters."

This quote stuck out at me, because I have recently been reading a number of "modern" novels for my grad classes. And I really don't care for them. Why? Because they don't begin at the beginning, follow through the middle, and stop at the end.  Call me a traditionalist or a romantic, but I want a story (99.9% of the time) that has a happy ending. I like some tragedies, I understand the effect, blah, blah, blah. But if I am reading a book, I want to escape from my reality. I have enough annoyance and pain in my own reality (though considerably less than many people, I know - I'm blessed) that I don't need to visit someone else's, suffer through everything with them, and then have a crummy, depressing ending. Maybe everything doesn't work out all happily-ever-after in real life.

All the more for it to happen that way in a story.

There are other quotes I wanted to share as well, but of course I can't find them now that I'm flipping through the book. But I think I've meandered on long enough anyways.

How about you? Do you like a realistic story? Or a happy ending? Or both? Any favorite writing quotes you want to share?

A Super Bowl Ode

I had to share this, because I randomly thought of it the other day and I thought y'all might get a kick out of reading it.

I wrote this when I was about 12 years old.

"Super Bowl Blues"

When the Super Bowl comes 'round

I hear a happy sound

As all the football fans

Get out their soda cans.

But I don't give the teams a care

Instead I breathe a little prayer

(I hope it's not a crime)

That this game does not go into overtime!

Thank you, thank you. Please hold your applause and enjoy the game (or not) :D

Random

I really wanted to do a post today, but I don't have time to do the one I planned on doing.

So I thought I would type "random" into google images and see what came up.

umm... random...

Maybe you'll get some inspiration, or laughter, or maybe absolutely nothing :D

Just the title made this one for me

CRAYONS!

What the hay bale?!

random graphs are ALWAYS useful

and this is a random shirt. I kind of want it.

SO. Cute.

lovely

I think I want to live here

But this one TOTALLY TAKES THE CAKE

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYBODY!!!!!!!

Finding Myself In Retail Again

Happy Wednesday all!

Well, we survived the ice/snowpocalypse and didn't even lose power (yet) and hopefully won't. It seems to have stopped precipitating and I really hope it doesn't start up again.

I'm the geek that doesn't want classes to be canceled. Again.

Now that I've bored you with random information, on to the awards!

My Bad Award:


A gentleman approached me and asked for help finding a book on musicians.

Me: Is there a particular book that you're looking for?

Man: Yes, I want a book that lists the top rock artists.

Me: Okay, sure. That would be back in media.

Man: But I want one that only lists the dead ones.

Me:.....

Man: You know, like an encyclopedia of dead rock stars. I have one that lists a bunch of different people, but I want one with more information.

Me: I don't think I've ever seen anything like that (I point to a rock encyclopedia) We have a few things like this, but I'm not familiar with anything just with dead ... ones.

Man: Well, I'll just look around and see if I can find anything.

Me: All right (to myself: WEIRDO)

Then I help some other customers and then get called up for register backup. The gentleman gets in line and happens to come to my register. Guess what he found?

Okay, so I don't know everything. But honestly, that is a WEIRD BOOK.

Phone Freak Award:


I answer the phone.

Guy: I was wondering if you had the new Wimpy Kid book.

Me: We have the one that just came out, the purple one.

Guy: No, I have that one, I want the new one.

Me: The purple one is the newest one.

Guy: Well, I want to pre-order the new one.

Me: They haven't released a title or date for the next one.

Guy: Well, can you call me when it comes out?

Me: I can't do a reserve, because it isn't in our system yet. The last one just came out about a month ago, so it will be at least six months or maybe even a year before they put out another one.

Guy: When will you know?

Me: I don't know. That's all based on the publisher. They have to tell us and I don't have any idea when that will be.

Guy: Well can you call me when you find out?

Me: I don't have any way of putting your information in for a book that isn't in our system. You can call back in a few months and see if we've heard anything.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Guy: When should I call back? Next week?

Me: No, it'll probably be a few months before we hear anything and I don't even know if we will.

Guy: So I should call back in February?

Me: It's going to be a while before we'll know anything.

Guy: Well when will you know?

Me: I don't know when we'll know (I'm feeling rather existential)

Guy: So I can call back in February?

Me: You can call back whenever, I just don't know if we'll know anything by then.

Guy: All right, thank you.



And I'm out for the week! Thank you, thank you very much!