The Thirteenth Tale; or Beginnings, Middles, and Ends

Since I have such a long commute, I started pulling out my audiobooks again. This way I can read while driving and get to some of the books I want to read, but don't have time to physically pick up the book and get through it.

I haven't had a chance to get to the library, and I don't have the ability to do the whole audible.com thing right now, so I perused my shelves for something to re-listen to. I started with The Secret Garden, which I haven't read in ages. I love these classic children's tales so much.

Finished that one in less than a week, so I grabbed The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield next.

This has become one of my all time favorite books. I've read it once and this is the second time I'll be listening to it. I also had the good fortune of winning a copy from Hannah during her creepy story competition. (Hannah isn't creepy. Much. And the competition wasn't creepy, the story we had to write was supposed to be creepy. Just to clarify)

(by the way this is my lame, I have too much to do, so I'll cop out and use quotes for my Writerly Monday post)

As I've been listening, there are a couple of quotes that I was dying to share with someone, but I couldn't, because I was driving, so I couldn't even TWEET them. This was agony, so I decided to do a post and share some of my favorites with you.

"When fear and cold make a statue of you in your bed,

don't expect hard-boned and fleshless truth to come running to your aid.

What you need are the plump comforts of a story.

The soothing, rocking safety of a lie."

Talk about truth. How many of us write or read for just this reason? One of my all time favorite quotes is from L. M. Montgomery's Emily Climbs (sidenote, if you are a female and a writer, you need to read these books. I adore them more than I can ever say. In fact, just read everything Montgomery ever wrote. You will be INSPIRED. But that's food for another post)

"I shall always end my stories happily.

I don't care whether it's 'true to life' or not.

It's true to life as it should be

and that's a better truth than the other."

Which brings me to another quote from The Thirteenth Tale.

"Of course all stories have beginnings, middles and endings;

it is having them in the right order that matters."

This quote stuck out at me, because I have recently been reading a number of "modern" novels for my grad classes. And I really don't care for them. Why? Because they don't begin at the beginning, follow through the middle, and stop at the end.  Call me a traditionalist or a romantic, but I want a story (99.9% of the time) that has a happy ending. I like some tragedies, I understand the effect, blah, blah, blah. But if I am reading a book, I want to escape from my reality. I have enough annoyance and pain in my own reality (though considerably less than many people, I know - I'm blessed) that I don't need to visit someone else's, suffer through everything with them, and then have a crummy, depressing ending. Maybe everything doesn't work out all happily-ever-after in real life.

All the more for it to happen that way in a story.

There are other quotes I wanted to share as well, but of course I can't find them now that I'm flipping through the book. But I think I've meandered on long enough anyways.

How about you? Do you like a realistic story? Or a happy ending? Or both? Any favorite writing quotes you want to share?

Could it be? Why yes, it is another Retail Wednesday!

And you guys probably thought that last week was a fluke. Admit it, it crossed your mind. I haven't been the most reliable bloggy friend.

*hangs head in shame*

Ahem.

On to the awards!

MOST ANNOYING AWARD:


(confession - this one is mainly for my co-workers. Because we share the pain.)
We have a regular customer. He comes in multiple times a week. He has been frequenting the store since before I started working there. We all know him by name and, usually, we all walkie each other the warning that H is in the store.

There is a very long story in this person alone, but I don't want to get into all of it right now. My point is that he is a regular. Very regular. Very annoying regular.

Now that I'm beating a dead horse...

bwa haha! I can't believe the stuff that comes up on Google!

The other day he came in to order a book. This causes us to headdesk.

If someone does not have a credit card when they are ordering a book, they purchase a gift card for the amount of the order and use that to pay. It's really quite simple. Usually.

I was at the register, in the middle of a transaction when H comes up, cuts in front of a customer in line, shoves his hand (clutching a $10 and a gift card) in front of the customer I am ringing up and bellows, "I need $8.49 on here."

"I'm in the middle of ringing this customer up," I tell him. "And that gentleman was already in line."

H: But I need $8.49 on here.

Gentleman: That's all right. You can take him first. (oh, how thoughtful! I love nice customers! [no sarcasm intended here])

3 Cheers for the nice customers!

Me: Thank you. But H, I have to finish this transaction first.

Customer I'm ringing up: I'm sorry, I'm holding everyone up. (More nice customers! yeah!)

Me: (to myself. I'm in the middle of scanning your books! How is it your fault?! But thank you)

I finish the transaction, ring up H. Send him on his merry way. Ring up the nice gentleman.

J comes up to the register, brow excessively furrowed.

Me: What's wrong?

J: It needed to be $9.98 on the gift card!

Me and J: headdesk

Annoying? yes. Insurmountable? No.

Get this.

When I get off register, J and I are talking.

J: Wait, what is H's last name?

Me: Smith (not really, but... you know, anonymity and all that)

J: Are you serious?

Me: Yes, I'm sure.

J: For the order, he told us his last name was Brown.

GIANT HEADDESK

This is for Hannah
Even The Picard feels our pain

STRANGEST TOPIC AWARD:


A woman and her daughter accosted me and J in the aisle. J is sitting on a stool with piles of books around her, busily alphabetizing. I am standing next to her, asking her a question. The woman addresses...

J.

Why certainly I can help you.
As you can see, I'm not busy or anything.

Ahem.

Woman: Where are the horse books?

Me: (pointedly) I'll show you the section. It's right back here.

Woman: (huffs in annoyance, but follows me)

Me: Are you looking for anything in particular?

Woman: Just a book about horses. (points at Dog Breeds for Dummies) Something like that! But for horses.

Me: (looking over the shelves) We don't seem to have the horse one in stock. We could see about ordering it. Here are a few other books. (Pull out other informational books on horses) A lot of what we have here are like biography type books.

Woman: I need something with stupid questions about horses.

I have no words. See you next week for more bookland fun!