BEA!!!!! (shh... I KNOW it's late... deal with it)

I know, BEA was like ages and ages ago - also known as two weeks.

But the POINT is that I am writing about it now! Right? Right!

So there were 5 of us that went together. Me and my sis and Cupcake and CC and HPFanGirl.

Okay, so those aren't their real names, but I don't have permission to call them by their real names here, SOOOOOO I had fun coming up with fake ones :D

We decided to meet at 4 so we could catch the 4:22am train. And Naomi and I live 1/2 an hour from the meeting place, so we had to leave the house at 3:30... I do not know how commuters do that every day. I think I would die.

We thought we would sleep the whole way to the city, but we were all too excited, so we talked and probably annoyed EVERYBODY to pieces, because they were all being sleepy and quiet. But no one shushed us like they did last year, so I guess we weren't too bad.

The ride in was fun too. We talked about Lost and Buffy and books and authors and stuff and had a grand old time.

Then we got to ... I think it was Penn station. Pete's sake, you'd think I would actually know that, but anyways.

We were trying to get our bearings and there was a crazy lady standing on the corner talking to her imaginary boyfriend who was apparently a real jerk. So we crossed the street. Ah New York.

ANYWAYS.

We found the Center with no problems and got our passes and got our tickets to see the BIG authors we wanted to see and then checked our suitcases.

We were there SO early so we grabbed some bagels and sat down to peruse the signing offerings and put together a strategy of who we had to see when.

And we kind of got scared that we had used up all our energy before the show even opened!

Not so... when those doors opened and they let us in, we were raring to go.

First up we hit the Candlewick Press booth and they had a TON of ARCs available and they all looked fantastic! AND they had two girls dressed up like the characters from Kate DiCamillo's upcoming children's book Bink and Gollie Then we headed off to the autograph section to get a signed copy of said book. It looks SO adorable!

Then we got in line for Sarah, Duchess of York who was signing copies of her new picture book. But there were a gaggle of camera people waiting to video her and she was WAY late, so CC and I decided we'd rather hop around and get some other signatures instead.

So we bounced over to Karin Slaughter who was signing Broken and then bounced into line for Maureen Sherry's book Walls Within Walls (It looks like a lot of fun - right up my alley). We did a little bit of wandering through the booths, but there were SO many great authors doing signings that we spent most of our time in the autographing area. Also, most of the booths didn't have too much exciting stuff going on as compared to last year. A LOT less ARCs available (or so it seemed).

I will say that whoever decided to cram everything on one level so the autographing area was smashed up against the booths needs to be trampled by a herd of angry librarians, teachers, authors and booksellers. It was terrible. You know you're going to have a ton of people lining up to see authors like Rick Riordan or Kate DiCamillo or Melissa Marr or James Patterson. So WHY on EARTH would you have a space only big enough for MAYBE 50 (but more like 30) people. And THEN have NO official people out there directing the line. It was squishy and people were rude and you couldn't get anywhere. That was my major complaint of the day. Next year they need to separate the autographing area out again. Or have at LEAST 2-3 volunteers to direct traffic PER LINE.

Okay, rant over.

Next it was off to stand in line for James Dashner's newest 13th Reality book - I haven't read the others, but they've always looked really interesting. While we were in line, a guy was making his way down introducing himself to the people in line. He said he was James' publisher and asked how we had heard about the author. I said I had received an ARC of The Maze Runner and was really looking forward to reading it though I hadn't had a chance to get to it yet. The publisher was SUPER nice and was chatting with a couple librarians on either side of us in line. He brought back some ARCs for them of a book called The Hourglass Door. Naomi and I were craning our necks to see what the book was about and so he offered us ARCs too! Yeah for sneaky tactics to get more free books! :P

That was Shadow Mountain Publishing and they were great - we saw the guy 3 or 4 times throughout the day and he was always great, they put out a lot of really good books. It's so nice getting to see some of the really great publishing houses that are out there.

Then I got a copy of Murder in Vein a new Fang-In-Cheek mystery novel by Sue Ann Jaffarian. It looks really fun.

Lunch Time! We unloaded our stacks of books into our suitcases and grabbed a quick bite to eat.

You know, I thought I had more pictures, but I guess I was just so excited about meeting these people that I forgot to take pics most of the time. :D

So right after lunch Jon Scieszka was going to be doing a signing. I love his books. The Time Warp Trio series is hilarious and of course all of his picture books like The Stinky Cheese Man and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs and Naomi really likes him too. HE was signing a compilation of short stories called Guys Read: Funny Business but I just wanted to have a chance to meet him and get the autograph. The other girls were, oh it's not that interesting, so it doesn't matter. But Naomi and I said NO, we have to get up there now so we don't MISS HIM! So we ran away from them and got into line.

They were giving away those glasses with the nose and mustache along with the book and there were like 4 of the contributing authors there. So much FUN!

From 1-5 there was author after author that we wanted to see, so we had to be well planned.

Got Jon Scieszka and then .... oh THEN....

Then it was time for ....

LEMONY SNICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SWEAR I was hyperventilating just a little. You have no idea. The Series of Unfortunate Events is one of my all time favorite kids' series and I've read them all multiple times and I own the entire set, plus all of the ones that they put out as paperbacks, almost all of them on audio, all of the other books he's come out with since then from the tie ins to the Series (The Beatrice Letters and The Unauthorized Autobiography) to the holiday books (The Latke That Wouldn't Stop Screaming and The Lump of Coal) to his first picture book (The Composer is Dead) to the collection of wisdom (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

AND when my sis and I went to London they had DIFFERENT COVERS!!!! SRSLY! So I bought 1 (I think it was The Unauthorized Autobiography) Because I couldn't HELP myself!

It turned out he and the illustrator were signing posters from the new picture book 13 Words and other people were all, "I have to stand in this ridiculously LONG line just to get a POSTER signed? And I was like, um... they could be giving away POST IT NOTES and I would stand in a line TWICE as long. But that's just me.

His line was taking a little longer than most of the lines did, but that was because he actually took a moment to TALK to each person! OMW! He totally insulted EVERYBODY and it was the FUNNIEST thing ever.

Werd. I am SO gushing here, but I cannot express my excitement over this enough.

So anyways...

So Naomi went first and she has a number of friends that were super jealous that she was going to get to meet him, so she says, "2 of my friends hate me because of you."

Lemony Snicket got this strange look on his face and he said, "Where I come from we don't call those friends. So he turned to HPFanGirl, who was behind her, and asked, "Do you hate her?" And HPFanGirl said, "Maybe a little." So he said, "Then you must be her friend!"

And when he signed Naomi's poster he wrote, "To Naomi, who has questionable friends"

hahahaha!

Then it was my turn and I knew I was going to be an idiot, so I just went for it.

I said, "I know this sounds cheezy, but I am your biggest fan."

He said, "Don't put yourself down like that. I've known people much bigger than you."

OMW, I was LAUGHING so hard!

Then he said, "Well, it's very nice of you to say that now that I've turned it into an insult."

Then it was CC's turn and she was wearing a t-shirt that he read aloud. Except the t-shirt said, "Love Your Body" so he read it and then was all, oh excuse me, I was just reading your shirt. Do you wear that just in the hopes that someone will read it aloud?"

Oh my. I could have just sat there all day. We were all cracking up.

Next was Cupcake and she had decided to get the poster signed for her dad. So when Lemony Snicket looked at who he was supposed to make it out to, he said, "And this is for... Jim. Hello, Jim. I don't care what anyone says, you are very masculine."

*sigh* :D

After that I hopped into another line and was grinning from ear to ear. I couldn't STOP smiling. My face was so happy that it just stayed in this giant dorky grin for like half an hour! The lady in front of me was looking over at the Lemony Snicket line and looked at me and says, "I was GOING to see him, but that line was so long and they're not even giving away a book."

I looked at her with my giant grin and said, "It's the chance to get to meet the author. I don't care what they were giving away."

And she looked at me like I was crazy. But people, come on. As great as the ARCs and everything are, are you not there to get to MEET these people that you have come to LOVE through their BOOKS!? If they had signed my program and sent me on my way I would have been happy just for the opportunity (but I LOVE my ARCs don't get me wrong.).

Anyways. Here's a couple bad pics of Lemony Snicket :D

So that other line I was in was for Gail Carson Levine who is ALSO one of my FAVORITE authors! Have you read her stuff? It's SO great! She's written Ella Enchanted and Fairest and Ever and The Two Princesses of Bamarre and she was signing ARCs of her newest picture book Betsy Red Hoodie and (later) Fairies and the Quest for NeverLand. It was all just SO happy :D

Naomi went to Brandon Mull and John Flanagan while the rest of us got in line for Rick Riordan. That line was SO long. HPFanGirl was hyperventilating at this point. She was as excited about getting to see him as I was about Lemony Snicket. I was pretty excited too. He was signing copies of The Red Pyramid the first book in his new series.

He was really nice and HPFanGirl was OVER the MOON. Here's another kinda crummy pic :P

I got another picture that was better, but HPFanGirl is IN it so...

After that we ran over to see where the line was forming for Melissa Marr. She was there last year as well and she is SO nice!

Right in front of her, in the same line, Diana Peterfreund was signing and Naomi had found the logline for the book interesting so she decided to get in line for that and then come back around and join us. It was for the book Ascendant and the logline was this: The killer-unicorn phenomenon continues in this sequel to Rampant.

Intriguing, no?

Well, apparently it was more of a phenomenon than the BEA folks thought, because they put her in for 1/2 an hour and right before Melissa Marr. But the line exploded and they ended up creating a booth for her to sign in so they could get Melissa Marr in and she was signing until her ARCs were gone. But Naomi had to leave the line because of it, so she and I made it back there later and both got signed copies :)

Anyways, Melissa Marr was signing copies of Radiant Shadows the 4th book in her Wicked Lovely series. She is great and the series is great. I've been following her on Twitter and told her so and we chatted for a moment about that. SO much FUN!

While I had been waiting in line for Melissa Marr with CC, I saw we were right next to Jonathan Maberry who was signing ARCs of his new YA book Rot & Ruin. It's about ZOMBIES and so I immediately thought of MIA and HAD to get a copy. OMW it is A. Maz. Ing. I love this book a LOT.

Then we went to Bree Despain signing copies of The Dark Divine which looks really interesting.

While we were standing in line for Rick Riordan, a couple of young girls (like middle school age) were going around handing out fliers. They were signing copies of poetry books and inviting people to come down and check it out. Now I thought it was pretty cool that such young kids had a BOOK published, so Naomi and I made sure we found our way down to them. There were two books they were signing... Winter Coat and Blindspots both poetry books put together by students of their own poetry.

Now here's the exciting part for you guys... They signed an EXTRA COPY of EACH BOOK for me so I could review it for all of you Lovely Blogger Friends and then do a GIVEAWAY! Aren't you EXCITED?!

SO - come back on Friday for the review and giveaway. It's gonna be FANTASTIC!

So then it was late and we were tired and our shoulders felt like they were going to fall off so we gathered everything together and made our way back to the train station. Unfortunately there was some international soccer game that night and all of the trains back to Secaucus were mad full and people were rude and hogging extra seats! What is up with you commuters? The ride is only like 15 minutes! People sit closer together on 8 hour flights!

Anyways, we eventually made it back and it was after 9 by the time we got back to our cars. A LONG day, but SUCH a GOOD one.

And that's my story!

Sorry it took SO long to get it up, but I hope it was worth it.

And don't forget to come back on Friday for the giveaway!

Retro Retail

So, I've had one day back from vacation (by the time you read this it will be two, but I have to do this early because I'M GOING TO BEA TOMORROW [which is actually today to you or maybe even yesterday, depending on when you stop by] AND I'M SUPER EXCITED. I'm hoping to meet Rick Riordan and LEMONY SNICKET [ZOMW I think I might hyperventilate just a little] and get to see Melissa Marr again and tons of other fantastic authors and AHHHHHHHHH!!! And we're leaving at 4 in the morning, which is why I'm doing this post ahead of time) and not much of anything of note happened in that one 8-hour shift (except a LOT of Lost talk, because we're cool like that) so I decided to do a Retro Retail post (as you can tell from the title) so I would still have something up here :D

If you can untangle that sentence, you are amazing!

And this just made me smile, so I thought I would share:

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Back in the day (meaning 4ish years ago) I worked for Eckerd Drug Stores. They no longer exist - have you noticed that? I left and the company went under (or so I like to tell myself :P).

But I have some pretty funny stories from my time working there. These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Enjoy!

Not The Brightest Crayon In The Box Award:

A customer came up to the register and handed me a bag. "I need to return this calculator," she said, pulling it out of the bag. "I've tried and tried and I can't get it to clear or enter anything new."

I look down and think, man, how am I supposed to do this without making her feel like an idiot. Suppressing a sigh I peel off the clingy plastic sample equation leaving the screen free. "Try it now. They put this on to protect the screen and show you the size of the font."

Woman takes calculator and starts punching things in giddily. "Thank you SO much," she gushes.

I honestly don't know which was worse - the fact that she couldn't figure out it was just a sticker, or the fact that she was so impressed that I figured it out so quickly...

Look! A poster for my AWARD! *does happy dance*

I don't know who originally did this, but THANKS!

Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? Retail Edition:

A woman came in looking for a specific type of makeup. I can't even remember exactly what her question was, but it's not really that relevant for the story. She was super nice and it was a valid question and we weren't busy so I didn't mind helping her.

We look back and forth at a few of the boxes and narrow it down from several options to a few.

We decide to call the 800 number on the back of the package. As we walk over to the phone the customer starts laughing - "I'd like to phone a friend, Regis," she said and I had to laugh with her. I called the number and it's... disconnected. Yup. By now we are both giggling and she says, "I guess we have to poll the audience!" She asks another customer and ends up deciding on which she wants to buy, but it was pretty funny that we had to use all of our lifelines...

Densest Customer Award:

This was actually a multiple offender award.

People would come into the store, march up to the register and demand to know where the batteries were. At which point we would point directly behind them to the giant 3-sided display of batteries about 2 feet from them. Most people would just kind of chuckle awkwardly or say something like, "Well, if it had been a shark it would have bit me."

Just. Like. This.

But one guy glared at me as though it were all my fault that the batteries were not hidden in some remote spot that he would actually have to be directed to.

It's your fault I can't see past my nose!

The Milk Lady:

We sold half gallons of milk - and at a REALLY good price. People would come in and stock up on milk like there was no tomorrow. It was kind of ridiculous.

But there was one woman who will go down in infamy amongst all of us who ever worked at that store.

I don't know how many times she tried to pull this off over the 8 years I spent there. She would wait for different cashiers so it took us forever to realize she was doing it like EVERY week.

This is how it would go.

ML (milk lady): (comes up to register with empty half gallon milk jug in a bag) Excuse me. I bought this milk yesterday and it was sour today. I poured it out, because it had like chunks and stuff. But I only bought it yesterday. You can see it's still within the date. Can I get a replacement?

Cashier: Yes, that's fine (which at the time, it was fine - we would do these occasionally, because with milk sometimes this happens.)

ML takes her new jug of milk and leaves.

Comes back a few days later to repeat performance.

Once we realized what was going on we told her she had to bring it in with the sour milk still in it so we could prove to our vendor that there was a problem. Thought that would take care of the problem.

Not so much. She starts bringing in half full cartons of sour milk for exchange.

At this point we're wondering if she realizes that you have to REFRIGERATE milk.

Then the delivery questions started.

For a while they were shuffling our delivery dates around, trying to find a good system to keep us well stocked with milk. She would call or come in ALMOST DAILY to find out when our deliveries were coming. Then she would rant and rave that none of us knew what we were talking about, that everyone always gave her different answers as to when the milk came. That she had to buy it as soon as we got it or it wouldn't last.

I think she needed a hobby.

Or at least this shirt...

Outright Bizarre Award:

I had a woman call on the phone (I think I might have shared this before, but it TOTALLY bears repeating!).

Woman: I'm looking for foundation and was wondering if you carry it.

Me: We have a lot of different kinds. What brand were you looking for?

Woman: I'm not sure. What brands do you have?

Me: Cover Girl, L'Oreal, Revlon, Maybelline...

Woman: I think it's Revlon.

Me: All right, which color did you need.

Woman: What colors are there?

Me: There's about twenty different ones.

Woman: Well, can you list them?

Me: (sigh) Hold on a second, I'll go take a look..... (I begin to list some of the different colors)

Woman: I'm not sure... (no joke) What color do you think would look good on me?

Me: (stifling laughter) I really can't tell over the phone. The best thing would be for you to come in and take a look at them yourself.

Woman: Oh no! I don't leave the house! Someone's coming to get it for me.

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Oh! I thought of one more and then I have to run...

Drama Queen Award:

Two customers were getting milk. The male customer accidentally bumps the female customer's bum with the door to the case.

Female customer loses it and begins yelling at him for touching her bum and how dare he do that and yadda yadda yadda.

Male customer is trying to be apologetic, but obviously finds the whole thing amusing, because it was completely innocuous and accidental.

They both end up at my register. He is starting to get a little heated as she continues to rail, her voice escalating. But he keeps his cool while she looks like a complete nutjob.

Manager approaches the register and asks what the problem is. Happens to glance over at the male customer as he asks.

Female customer FREAKS OUT... "You're just taking his side, because you're a MAN!"

Actually, this is more how I felt, than how she looked.

OMW.

Yup, pretty much wherever you work, the customers are INSANE! sometimes nice and sometimes nasty, but ALWAYS, ALWAYS insane!

What I Read This Year - Post 2

Now that I've actually gotten a comment by one of the authors of one of the books I mentioned/read/reviewed I'm a little scared. But I'm not gonna lie about the ones I didn't like and I want to rave about the ones I did, so if you liked a book I didn't, that's fine - after all, that's why there are so many books out there for all of us different people :)

Onward and Upward...

21. Godmother: The Secret Cinderella Story by Carolyn Turgeon (I did not like this book. I felt like the end was a major copout. The premise sounded interesting, but I was deeply dissatisfied when I finished it.)

22. Pendragon Before the War: Book One of the Travelers by D.J. MacHale & Carolyn Jablonski (I love the Pendragon series, but it had been a while since I had read the series. These prequels were interesting, but sometimes it felt like there were continuity errors from the regular stories. Maybe it was my faulty memory or maybe it was the fact that they were written by other people. I enjoyed them, but they aren't necessary at all for enjoying the series.)
23. Malice by Lisa Jackson (This came in as an ARC [Advanced Reader's Copy] and looked interesting. I really liked it. I would definitely read more by this author, I just haven't yet.)

24. Pendragon Before the War: Book Two of the Travelers by D.J. MacHale and Walter Sorrells (See 22)

25. City of Thieves by David Benioff (Our store chose various books throughout the year to focus on. This was one of them. I discovered a lot of great books and authors through that program. I liked this book overall. It was funny and heart-breaking and somehow not depressing, though the subject matter should have made it so. Too crass for my personal taste and I struggled with finishing it because of that.)

26. Pendragon Before the War: Book Three of the Travelers by D.J. MacHale and Walter Sorrells (see 22)

27. Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George (This was a retelling of The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I absolutely adored it. Such a fantastic retelling. I would definitely recommend it.)

28. Y: The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughn (I picked this series of graphic novels up because of Lost and because one of the regular posters over at Nikki Stafford's site recommends them regularly. I enjoyed the plot line and the characters. Intriguing premise and man did I cry at the end. However, I am fairly conservative and there were too many "adult" scenes and too much profanity. It made me personally uncomfortable. Brilliant author, fantastic premise, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone I know because of some of the other stuff.)

29. Fables Volumes 1-11 by Bill Willingham (When a friend of mine saw me reading Y, she told me I should try reading these. They were fun.)

30. Bone Man's Daughters by Ted Dekker (He has become

one of my favorite authors and this book was well done. Not one of my favorites of his, but a great thriller and I have recommended it to a number of people.)

31. Fragile Eternity by Melissa Marr (Oh Melissa. I had a chance to meet her at BEA and she was so nice. She's an amazing author, too. If you haven't read any of her books go pick up Wicked Lovely right now. I recommend them to people all the time.)

32. The Merchant of Death by D.J. MacHale (The last book in the series was about to come out, so I decided to reread the entire series. I'm glad I did, because I had forgotten a lot of the details and I enjoyed the last book even more. Great series, a fun premise. Overall a very enjoyable read.)

33. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer (This book was probably my all time favorite one for the year. If you have not read it yet, drop everything and read it right now. It is such a shame that the author passed away in February, because that means she won't be writing any more books. This was another book my store focused on and I loved it so much. It has everything. You will laugh, you will cry and your life will be richer because you read it.)

34. The Lost City of Faar by D.J. MacHale (probably my favorite book in the Pendragon series.)

35. The Reluctant Heiress by Eva Ibbotson (I read A Countess Below Stairs and loved it. This one was good, but not as good as that one, in my opinion. But I love her books and plan on reading more.)

36. The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan (Loved it. A great end to a fantastic series. Can't wait for his next series to start coming out.)

37. Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge (I did this as a girl's Bible study at my church. It's an amazing book and you will not look at men and women the same after reading this. [in a good way] I highly recommend it. I found it has helped me to better understand people around me, both girls and guys.)

38. The Never War by D.J. MacHale

39. The Reality Bug by D.J. MacHale (Scary, because I could totally see our society heading toward this if we had the technology.)

40. Black Water by D.J. MacHale

41. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (Usually when there is a trilogy, the second book is a bit of a let down. It usually feels like you're treading water, just waiting for the third and end to come. Not so with this one. I was expecting to be let down, but it was just as good, if not better than The Hunger Games. Absolutely brilliant. Please, do yourself a favor and read these books. The third one is due out later this year and I CANNOT wait for it.)

42. The Rivers of Zadaa by D.J. MacHale

43. Beautiful Disaster by Kate Brian (This is part of the Privilege series that was a spin off of the Private series. In my opinion they are ten time better. The main character and her nemesis are tautly written sociopaths and are just as good as any characterization in a regular mystery/thriller.)

44. First Comes Marriage by Mary Balogh (I never used to read anything that could be considered a romance novel. But the characters in this series intrigued me. I just skip over the, what seems to be mandatory two page bedroom scene, and thoroughly enjoy the writing and characterization. I fell in love with this family. If you should happen to see this, Mary, please, please, please, please, please write a book about their cousin! I can't stand not knowing what made him the way he is and I want to see him have a happy ever after, too.)

45. Then Comes Seduction by Mary Balogh

46. Lunatic by Ted Dekker (This is part of his YA series, which is a spin off of his Circle trilogy and Paradise novels. I enjoy them, but they definitely aren't his best.)

47. At Last Comes Love by Mary Balogh

48. The Quillan Games by D.J. MacHale

49. The Pilgrims of Rayne by D.J. MacHale (Major plot twist in this one makes it one of my favorites in the Pendragon series.)

50. Seducing an Angel by Mary Balogh