Lost Season 5 1/2 Episode 1 "Just the Beginning"

Feeling Lost without Lost?
Wondering what to do on Wednesday night and Thursday without new fodder for discussion?
Ready for a laugh?

Once again my sister, Aching Hope, has come up with a brilliant fake episode. Please enjoy!

5½.1 "Just the Beginning"

Opens with the Swan Station and Sawyer, etc are running away from the magnetic hole. There’s a white flashy light and lots of noise and confusion.

Fwoomp!

Back to the beach.

Locke and Ben come out of the statue. Richard and the others are standing around Dead-Locke.

Locke: (seeing Ilana, looking at Ben) I told you they were coming.

Ben: (looks and sees Dead-Locke, his eyes go all wide. He looks to Locke.) You lied to me.

Locke: So? You lied to me.

Richard: (cocks his gun and points it at Locke.) Who are you?

Ilana and her gang lift up their guns too and the Others do as well, thinking, hey, why not. That’s what we usually do.

Locke: (Raising his hands up peacefully, you slug) I told you who I am. My name is John Locke.

Ilana: Liar. (Points to dead Locke) This is the man you speak of. Jacob came to me and told me to help him, and I did. I found this man. And I found you. You weren’t on that plane. Were you?

Ben: Well, were you Locke?

Locke: (looking at Richard.) No. I wasn’t. I’m surprised you didn’t recognize me.

Richard: (Dawning realization! He is beginning to look really, really scared.)

Ben: But the Island told me to follow you. The Island said…

Locke: Did it? Did it really? Because as far as I know, the Island had nothing to do with it. First you saw black smoke, which I conveniently control. And then you saw Alex. Poor, dear Alex. You do realize she’s dead, don’t you? You didn’t really think she would come back from the grave just to tell you to follow a stupid little man named John Locke.

Ben: (starting to get that psycho look)

Richard: Ben. Where is Jacob?

Ben: (turning to Richard) I killed him, Richard.

Dun Dun Dun!

LOST

An older woman is getting out of bed when the alarm goes off. She turns on a record player. Retro music playing. Said older woman is doing regular morning things and we’re thinking, haven’t I seen this scene before with Chang, with Juliet, with Desmond? But then the door slams open and a younger woman comes in. The older woman looks up.

Older woman: Yes, Anna?

Younger woman: They’re here. Just like you said they would be.

Older woman: Are you sure?

Younger woman: Yes. I still have the photo you gave me.

Older woman: (sinks into the couch, we still haven’t seen her face.) What will happen to them?

Younger woman: (shrugging) I don’t know. But I think they’re going to kill one of them.

Older woman: Which one?

Younger woman: They say his name is Sawyer.

The camera swings around and you see that it’s an older Juliet.

Dun Dun Dun

Beach:

Richard: What do you mean you killed him?

Ben: I mean I killed him. What else could that mean, Richard?

Richard: You have no idea what you just did.

Ben: Well, no one took the time to explain it to me, did they? What was I supposed to do?

Locke: (All smug) You should have listened. You never were good at listening.

Ilana: Enough. We have no time for this.

Locke: Or what?

Ilana: The Island cannot tell you everything, no matter who you are. There was one more thing Jacob told me that you should know.

Locke: What?

Ilana: It isn’t over. Close your eyes.

Locke: What?

Ilana: Close your eyes.

There’s a bright flashy time-travel light. Sawyer, Sayid, Hurley, Miles, Jack, and Kate all fall from the sky and land on the beach.

Sayid: Uhhhg…

Hurley: Dudes, where are we?

Others: All cock their guns and point them at the others, I mean, the ones from the plane crash, I mean the original thems of the opposite of others. Oh good grief. The Losties. The ones that fell from the sky a few moments ago.

Bram: What are they doing here?

Ilana: they are meant to be here.

Frank: Oh boy.

Jack: What do you mean we’re supposed to be here?

Locke: Hello Jack.

Jack: (makes a confused face.) You’re dead?

Ilana: Yes.

Ben: And no.

Richard: It’s complicated.

Jack: (whhhhaaaat face)

Miles: Uh, there’s a dead body. (Points at the box.)

Hurley: Dude! That’s Locke. But you’re Locke. (Points at Locke.) But there’s two of you. But that’s not possible, because you’re dead.

Richard: As we said, it’s complicated. Unfortunately, Locke here, (points to Locke) isn’t exactly who he says he is.

Hurley: So, what is he?

Richard: (smiling) That, my friend, is a very good question.

Hurley: Um, I know this is kinda’ like, a bad time, considering we just time traveled and there’s a living dead guy and stuff, but, are you like, immortal or something?

Richard: Or something.

Hurley: Oh. That’s helpful.

Bram: What’s with the guitar? (Yes, Hurley somehow still has the guitar with him, although we’re still not sure why.) Can I play it?

Hurley: No. Some guy named Jacob gave it to me, and it’s kinda like, you know, special.

Richard: Some guy named Jacob gave it to you? You mean, THE Jacob?

Hurley: Is there more than one?

Miles: Uh, no, Hurley. There’s only one guy in the world named Jacob. (Rolls eyes.)

Hurley: Wait. Is Jacob here? Can I talk to him? I never thanked him for getting me out of prison.

Locke: I’m afraid that’s not possible, Hugo.

Hurley: What? Why?

Richard: Jacob’s dead.

Hurley: What? How? Who killed him?

Ben: I did. I killed Jacob. (Hurley is surprised.) Do you have a problem with that?

Hurley: Do you?

Ben: You really have no idea, do you?

Miles: Uh, do you? (thinking: you guys are all idiots.)

Locke: So what are you guys going to do now?

They all look at him.

Ben: What would you have us do?

Locke: (smiles) I guess you’ll just have to trust me.

The Others slowly put down their guns.

Richard: I don’t think you’re still our leader.

Locke: I think I am.

Ilana: And what would we call you?

Locke: Locke. That’s who I am now.

Ilana: What were you before?

Locke: (smiles but doesn’t answer.)

Hurley: What did people call you before you, like, replicated John Locke’s body?

Locke: Some people called me Pete. (Starts walking toward the jungle.)

Richard: (still has his gun pointed at Locke.) Where are you going?

Locke: I can’t tell you right now. But if anyone wants to join me, they can feel free to follow.

Richard: I can’t let you do that, Locke.

Locke: (turns around toward Richard) Then I guess you’ll have to kill me.

We hear a gunshot go off.

It wasn’t Locke who was shot. He’s fine. (Except for his true dead body, which is dead and lying on the beach.)

Richard drops to his knees. Sayid is standing behind him. They all stare at him like, what??? But he had to shoot someone this episode.

Kate: (running and kneeling next to Richard, because that’s what she does, she runs up to hurt people and wishes she could heal them.) Why did you do that?

Sayid: Does it matter anymore? (He goes and stands by Locke.) I don’t know who you are exactly, but it doesn’t really matter.

Locke: I know. (Pats Sayid on the shoulder.) Does anybody else want to join us? Ben?

Ben: (shakes his head.)

Locke: You know, Ben, you don’t really have a choice.

Kate: (looks from Locke to Ben while trying to stop Richard from bleeding.) What is he talking about?

Ben: (looking down at Kate.) I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know. (Looks at Locke.) I don’t know anything anymore.

Kate: What? You always know what’s going on. You’re Ben.

Ben: I won’t always be Ben, Kate. (He goes off with Locke.)

Miles: (To Hurley.) You gonna’ go with them?

Hurley: No way man, they’re all psycho killers.

Miles: Right.

Hurley: So, I guess you’re going to follow them?

Miles: Why? Because I can talk to dead people?

Hurley: I guess. I don’t know. I thought you just liked hanging around psycho crazy people.

Miles: (stares at Hurley.) Uh. No.

Hurley: But you’re going to follow them, right? Because it’s like, your destiny or something? I don’t know. I just thought you would.

Richard: Hurley’s right, you should follow them.

Miles: Why don’t you, eyeliner man?

Ilana: In case you didn’t notice, Richard’s been shot. I will go follow them, you may come with me if you like.

Miles: Sure. Why not. It’s not like I had anything better to do.
(He starts to leave, Ilana tells Bram to stay on the beach and follows him.)

Hurley: (To Jack) He’s going to be okay, right?

Jack: No, Hurley. He’s not.

Kate: What do you mean?

Jack: The shot went right into the lower intestines. He’s going to die in a matter of minutes. There’s nothing I can do.

Kate: What? But you have to do this. You have to fix him.

Jack: Well, Kate. I can’t fix everything.

Kate: But you’re Jack. That’s what you do.

Jack: Really, Kate? Because as much as I try to fix things I’m always breaking them.

Hurley: Whoa, break it up guys. I think Richard’s… I think he’s dying.

They all turn and watch Richard breathe one last time. Ahhhhh!

Meanwhile in the jungle:

Locke stops because he hears rustling behind him. Ilana and Miles come out of the jungle.

Locke: What are you doing here?

Miles: We decided to join you, what does it look like we’re doing?

Locke: You’re not going to like where we’re going.

Sayid: Where are we going?

Locke: Somewhere very special.

They start tramping in the woods.

Miles: (Grumbling) Everything is special.

Ben: (smiles.)

Beach:

Hurley: Is he dead?

Jack: Yes, Hurley. He’s dead.

Hurley: Whoa. I didn’t think he could die.

Sawyer: (finally standing up from where he was sitting this whole time.) Yes Hurley. Anyone of us could die. (Totally what Daniel said because everyone is always quoting each other.)

Hurley: I’m sorry about, you know. Juliet.

Sawyer: It wasn’t your fault, big guy.

Bram: What are we going to do now?

Sun and Jin finally realize that they’re together again. They hug and kiss. Awwwww….so cute.

Jack: I don’t know.

Someone off camera: I might.

They all turn.

It’s Jacob!!!!!! He’s not dead.

Hurley: But I thought you were dead, man.

Jacob: (smiling) No. Not yet. (Kneeling down and touching Richard and healing him. Yay!) Where’s Locke? And Ben?

Hurley: They went into the jungle all macho gung-ho. They’re crazy psycho killers.

Jacob: I know.

Hurley: So…. Is it like over? Do we just let them go and live our normal lives?

Jacob: No. It’s not over. The war has just begun.

Dun Dun Dun Dun!!!!!

Lost 5.10.05 "The Merchant of Death"

Once again, my brilliant sister has come up with her version of what might have/could happen. Enjoy fake Lost episode #2 :)

Previously on Lost:

The clip of Annie giving Ben his birthday present – Ben telling Jack he has to go somewhere before they can leave – Sun smashing Ben on the head – Sayid shooting younger Ben.


Ben enters a room where a nice dinner party is going on. He goes up to a younger woman who is sitting down, drinking, talking quietly with another woman.

Ben: Can I talk to you for a moment.

Woman: Yes.

Ben: Privately.

Woman: Why would I go anywhere with a stranger?

Ben: [smiles an evil Ben smile] Because you can trust me.

The woman stands and they walk outside where there are musicians. Ben asks her to dance with him.

Ben: It’s a fine evening we’re having.

Woman: A strange man comes up to me, asks to talk to me privately, then asks me to dance with him, and all he’s going to talk about is the weather?

Ben: Yes, I suppose that does seem a little odd.

Woman: (tilting her head) Did you ever realize your face is crooked?

Ben: What?

Woman: Your face is crooked. (smiles) It’s kinda’ cute.

Ben: (stopping dancing) Annie, you have to go back to the island.

Annie: (sudden realization dawns upon her face) Ben? (She gapes at him, wondering what she has done – she just called Ben cute.)

Ben: I know you’re not going to want to believe me, but it’s imperative that you return to the island.

Annie: Go back? Are you insane? You told me to leave the island. You said it wasn’t safe there. You made me leave my home, you made me leave you. Why on earth would I go back?

Ben: I don’t know, Annie. All I know is that you need to go back.

Annie: (steps away) No, Ben. After I came back here I had no family, no friends. It took me years to be able to create some sort of life, and I’m happy here. (shakes head.) I’m not going back. (she walks away.)

[Fwooooooomp] LOST

Ben on island. He comes staggering out of the jungle.

Random Dude: Whoa man. Are you all right?

Ben: (who is obviously bleeding and not alright, because Ben is always getting beat up) Oh yes, I’m perfectly fine. Now where is John Locke?

Random Dude: Who?

Ben: John Locke. He is here isn’t he?

Random Dude: I don’t know, man. I was just in a plane crash. I don’t know anybody’s name. Heck, I’m not even sure I know my name.

Ben: He’s bald.

Random Dude: Oh! That guy. (shrugs) Haven’t seen him.

Ben: (aggravated by inferior idiots that he must rub shoulders with. He says nothing but walks away)

Random Dude: What should I tell him if I see him?

Ben: Nothing.

[Fwooooooooomp]

Annie enters her apartment. She closes and locks the door behind her. When she turns around Ben is there. (Creepy!) She does not seem fazed by this.

Annie: Hello Ben.

Ben: (picking up something from a dresser.) I thought you didn’t bring anything with you from the island.

Annie: (walking over toward him) It wasn’t from the island.

Ben: (turns on a lamp, you can see what Ben is holding. It’s the wooden character Annie carved him for his birthday.) I thought you forgot about me. You did a good job of creating a new life for yourself. (He looks around her apartment) It’s quite impressive.

Annie: (takes the figure from his hands) Why are you here Ben?

Ben: (taking a note from his pocket and placing it in her hand, curling her fingers around it) Just in case you change your mind.

Annie: You know I won’t.

Ben: (shrugs) It doesn’t hurt to try.

Annie: (laughs quietly and then bites her lip.) No, I suppose not.

Ben: I suppose I should get going. (Walks over to the door)

Annie: Good-bye, Ben.

(You hear the door close. There’s a moment when the camera pans around Annie. She walks over to the window and looks out. You see Ben walk into the street. Annie opens her cell phone and dials a number.)

Annie: He just left. (There’s a pause while the other person talks. Annie unfolds the piece of paper) He’s going to the pier.

[Fwooooooooomp]

Ben on the island. He walks along the beach towards the plane. He is bleeding here too, because Sun hit him in the head. Ilana, the Guam chick sees him and runs toward him and punches him in the face.

Ceaser: (pulling her away from Ben) Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on here?

Ilana: You killed my brother you venomous creep!

Ben: (tired of getting beat up) I did nothing of the sort.

Ilana: I swear to you, you pig, I will cut out your entrails, pull out your heart, and feed it to the dogs.

Ben: Well then, I guess it’s good there’re no dogs here.

(Ilana lunges at him, But Ceasar holds him back, though the rest of the people on the island aren’t sure why. This is the most interesting thing that has happened so far. They were hoping a fight might break out.)

Locke: (walking up, looking at Ben all confused like, because he’s confused.) Ben? Why are you here?

Ben: You don’t know? Huh, I’m surprised the Island hasn’t told you yet.

Ilana: This man is a murderer and he should die!

Locke: Now calm down, Ana Lucia look alike. (He turns to Ben, still confused.) Are you real? (he pokes Ben.)

Ben: Yes, John. I am real.

Locke: Nope. (Locke crosses his arms.) I don’t think you are.

Ben: (His face is saying: What?! Of course I’m real!?) But I am, John.

Locke: If you’re real, then why did that plane crash, why are these people standing here, and why (he is lookin’ straight at Ben) would I be standing here.

Ben: You’re special, John. I told you that.

Locke: Yes, yes you did. Right before you decided to kill me.

Ben: You were going to kill yourself anyway.

Ilana: I told you he was a killer!

Ben: But I got you back here, didn’t I? It was the only way.

Locke: No, I’m done listening to your lies. (He waves at Ceasar.) You can let her go now.

Ceasar: What?

Locke: Let her go. This man is a killer and a liar, just like she said.

(Ceaser lets her go. Ilana is about to punch Ben.)

Locke: Oh, but before you do anything, you might want to know that he’s the only one who knows how to get you off this island. (He walks away. Ilana, Ceasar, and Ben, stare at him. Ben follows Locke up the beach.)

Ben: I appreciate what you did back there, John. I know it must have been hard for you. Sticking up for me.

Locke: I didn’t stick up for you. (stopping and turning to face Ben.) And I’m not protecting you.

Ben: Then what were you doing, John. If you don’t want to kill me, and you’re not going to listen to me, then what are you going to do with me? People always want answers. Can you give these people the answers they’re looking for? (Ben motions to the beach behind them) I can. Let me help you.

Locke: What makes you think I need your help? (He looks out over the ocean.)

Ben: You’re special John, but not that special.

Locke: (smiles his old Locke smile) I don’t need you Benjamin. (He points towards the Spanish Chick.) Good luck with your new friend. (Walks off)

[Fwoooooooomp]

Ben walks up a dark alley. He hears someone coming and he hides in a corner. The man trailing him walks by and Ben shoots him. He continues walking as if, hey, no big deal, I kill people all the time. He comes to a pier and he starts trailing someone. That someone stops under a streetlight and turns around. It’s Desmond! He’s not dead! Woo-hoo!

Desmond: What are you doing here Ben? I thought you and your mates were going back on your three hour tour.

Ben: Oh, we’re still going. I was wondering if you wanted to join us.

Desmond: That’s a lie, and we both know it. Don’t lie to me, Ben.

Ben: (smiles) I never lie, Desmond.

Desmond: You’re here to kill Penny, but I won’t let you.

Ben: Who told you that?

Desmond: An old friend of mine.

Ben: (laughs) Ha. And did this dear old friend of yours happen to tell you that not only am I going to kill Penny, but I’m also a raving lunatic from Mars? Really, Desmond, you should be more careful about who you’re listening to.

Desmond: And you, brother, should leave me bloody well alone.

Ben: Did Widmore tell you I was going to kill Penny?

Desmond: (Being the wise person that he is, Desmond does not respond.)

Ben: He lied, Desmond. He only wants to hurt you. I’m here to help you.

Desmond: And how are you going to do that?

Ben: Come back to the Island. It’s only there that I can help you.

Desmond: I don’t think so. (Turns around)

Ben: (sighs) I’m sorry, Desmond, I truly am. (Pulls out a gun and points it at Des’ back.)

Desmond spins around and does a round-house kick to Ben’s face. The gun goes flying, Ben stumbles backwards. Desmond punches Ben in the face. Ben tries to fight back, but he’s a wimp and always gets beat up. Ben is angry. He tries to hit Desmond. Desmond breaks Ben’s arm.

Desmond: Stay away from my Penny. (He walks away. And Ben is bleeding. Hooray!)

[Fwoooooooomp]

(Ben on the Island. He’s making himself a little tent. Ilana comes up and takes his tarp.)

Ben: You’re welcome.

Ilana: What did you say to me? (walks over and gets all up in his face)

Ben: I said you’re welcome.

Ilana: For what?

Ben: Killing your brother. He was a lousy golfer.

Ilana: (Is about to strike him when Ben goes all pale, and gasps, and falls over.)

Caesar: (walking by.) What just happened?

Ilana: I don’t know, he just passed out. (Caesar gives her a look.) I’m serious!

Caesar: Come on, let’s take him to the others. (He grabs his shoulders and she grabs his legs.)

[Fwoooooomp]

(The pier. Annie walks up to Desmond who is getting into his boat. He turns toward her.)

Annie: Desmond? I need to talk to you.

Lost 5.05.05 "Not Always What It Seems"

So, at first I said I wasn't going to really blog Lost here, because I go to Nik at Nite where Nikki already has a fantastic debate going on. She is incredible and I have no idea how she remembers everything she does, but I love going there to discuss Lost.

Then my sister wrote a fake Lost episode to follow the fifth episode of season 5. I found it so funny I wanted to post it somewhere, so here is the first (possibly) installment of PleasantFriend's guest blog... enjoy...

5.05.5 Not Always What it Seems

Previously on Lost…

Locke falling down the well

Hurley getting taken away by the polic

(Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, Miles are around the well.)

Sawyer kicks at the rope.

Jin: (says something in Korean since he can no longer magically speak English) What now?

Sawyer: Come on, let’s go back to the beach. (starts walking forward.)

Juliet: Why? (Sawyer stops.)

Sawyer: I don’t know. Just seems like the right place to go. What else are we supposed to do? Wait around for Lassie to come get Timmy-boy out of the well?

Juliet: If we go back, how do you know we’ll be at the right time?

Sawyer: I don’t know.

Juliet: We can’t go back.

Sawyer: What?

Juliet: We can’t go back in time.

Sawyer: We just hippedy-hopped our way through time and you’re telling me we can’t go back?

Miles: So what are we supposed to do?

Juliet: I don’t know.

Sawyer: Well, we can’t stay here. Come on. Let’s go.

LOST

(Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, Miles walking through the woods towards Faraday and Charlotte.)

Miles: (stops suddenly, hearing voices) Charlotte died.

Jin: What? How?

Miles: What do I look like? A psychic?

Sawyer: Don’t you think it’s a little strange you keep hearing dead people?

Juliet: They’re not dead people.

(They all look at her)

Juliet: Miles was born on this island. (She looks at Miles) The voices you hear are not dead people. You hear displaced voices from different points of time.

Sawyer: So?

Juliet: He’s special, James.

Sawyer: And when were you going to let the Ghost Whisperer know this?

Juliet: (looks at Sawyer) It wasn’t time.

Sawyer: Really? How convenient.

Jin: We should keep going. (He and Miles leave)

Juliet: You will see her again.

Sawyer: Who?

Juliet: Kate.

Sawyer: (stares at her) Why are you telling me this?

Juliet: Because it won’t be easy.

Sawyer: Oh, that’s too bad. So far everything has been so simple. (He walks away)

They come to the tree where Faraday is still holding Charlotte.

Faraday: (looks up. He is very sad.)

Jin: We are going back. To beach.

Sawyer: We should leave.

Faraday: What about Charlotte? We need to bury her?

Juliet: No. She will only slow us down.

Faraday: I can’t leave her.

Sawyer: Then bring her with us. We’ll put her in the cemetery.

(Flashy light. Fwoooomp.)

[Hurley in Jail. Officer comes up.)

Officer: You have a visitor. (He unlocks the door and takes Hurley to a room.)

Hurley: (nervous)

The door opens.

Libby: Hello Hugo. (Comes in and sits on chair.)

Hurley: Libby?

Libby: I’ve come to tell you something.

Hurley: Are you…real? Am I really crazy?

Libby: You’re not crazy Hurley.

Hurley: But you’re dead. Aren’t you?

Libby: That’s not important. I need to tell you something.

Hurley: What? That I’m not crazy, even though I keep seeing dead people? Or about Sayid being like, a crazy ninja guy, and Ben is trying to come and take me away.

Libby: Ben is trying to help. You need to go back to the Island.

Hurley: But…

Libby: Someone will come and help you. You need to go to this address. (Libby slides a piece of paper over to him.

Hurley: What? That’s it? (gets teary-eyed) You’re just going to leave?

Libby: I’m sorry, Hurley. (She stands and goes over to the door) Oh. (Looks back at him.) You can’t trust him.

Hurley: Who? Trust who? Ben? Sayid?

Libby: Good-bye, Hurley. (She leaves.)

Hurley: Libby? Libby!

Officer comes and takes him out of the room. Ben’s lawyer is standing there. The Officer uncuffs him.

Hurley: So what? I’m free now?

Lawyer: You can come with me.

Hurley: Who are you?

Lawyer: Just follow me. (They go outside.)

Hurley: Do you work for Ben?

Lawyer: What will you do if I say I am.

Hurley: Nothing. I just want to know.

Lawyer: Yes. (Waits.)

Hurley: (nods) Cool. Does he pay good?

Lawyer turns and walks away.

Hurley: Dude, you have issues. I guess it comes from working for a creep like Ben. I think it’d mess up my brain too.

Lawyer: Do you want to go back in there?

Hurley: Whoa dude, lighten up.

They get in the car.

Hurley: So where are we going?

Lawyer: To church.

Hurley: What about Sayid?

Lawyer: (looking at Hurley) What about him?

Hurley: I don’t know, he’s just like, my friend. I want to talk to him before I run to the disappearing island.

Lawyer: He’s not exactly talking to me or Ben.

Hurley: That’s okay. I know where to find him.

They drive to a hotel room. Hurley knocks on the door and Sayid opens it.

Sayid: Hurley?

Hurley: Hey dude. Um… How’s…life?

Sayid: Why are you here, Hurley?

Hurley: Um… I want you to come with me. To the island.

Sayid: Why would I go back to that place?

Hurley: What else are you going to do? You don’t have any friends left. I mean, didn’t you’re wife like, die? What do you have to stay here for? You’re becoming some sort of evil ninja assassin. And I did try and save your life.

Sayid: All right. But I don’t trust him.

Hurley: Who?

Sayid: Ben.

Hurley: Dude, who does?

[Fwooooomp.]

The Island – Cemetery.


Miles: Who are Nikki and Paolo?

Sawyer: Dead.

Miles: (glare) I know that.

Sawyer: What’s so special about them?

Miles: They were buried alive.

Sawyer: What?

Juliet: Didn’t Arzt tell you about the spiders?

Sawyer: What spiders?

Juliet: Its venom paralyzes you.

Jin: What do they look like?

Juliet: I saw some by the well, but I didn’t think to point them out to you.

Sawyer: Would ya’ll shut up? (He starts walking toward the ocean)

Jin: Where are you going?

Sawyer: Back to my tent.

Miles: Wait. It’s not there anymore.

Sawyer: I know where it is.

Miles: How?

Saywer: (glaring at him) I just do.

They come out where Sawyer’s tent used to be.

Juliet: Now what, James?

Sawyer: Would you quit asking me that? I’m not Locke.

Jin: Jack would have plan.

Miles: Jack was obnoxious.

Jin: True.

Juliet: We’re not supposed to be here James.

Sawyer: Then where are we s’posed to be?

Juliet: We need to go back to the well.

Sawyer: There’s nothing there but a piece of stinkin’ rope!

Miles: Maybe we should bury the dead girl.

Faraday: Charlotte. Her name is Charlotte.

Miles: I know what her name is.

Faraday: Really?

Miles: Yeah.

Juliet: Yes, Daniel. Miles knew her longer than you did. Even Jin knew her longer than you did.

Faraday/Jin: What?

Juliet: When Charlotte and Miles’ mother left…

Faraday: Miles’ mother?

Juliet: Yes. They were brother and sister. Her mother ended up in Korea.

Miles: But I grew up in a little town in the middle of nowhere.

Juliet: While in Korea a man named Mr. Paik stole Charlotte.

Jin: Paik? (Says: May he die a thousand deaths: in Korea.)

Sawyer: And what, next you’re going to be saying I’m Charlotte’s father.

Juliet: No, her grandfather. Your daughter will be the mother of Charlotte.

Sawyer: So why are you telling all of this now?

Juliet: Because it’s time.

Sawyer: Quit saying that. What is going on?

Juliet: It’s time to tell you the truth.

Sawyer: What? You’re my mother?

Juliet: (smiles.) No. (she morphs into Ben.) Hello, James.

They are all so surprised. Except for Faraday. He goes off to bury Charlotte, mourning.

Sawyer: What is going on!?

Ben: I’m not human, James. I can become anyone I want to be.

Sawyer: I knew there was a reason I didn’t like you.

Jin: Ben? (gets angry. Korean: I will kill you you evil potato-headed monster!)

Ben morphs into Kate.

Kate/Ben: Hello Sawyer.

Sawyer: (Is disgusted, but still yearning for her to really be there)

Ben morphs back.

Ben: I can bring her back, James, but I need you’re help.

Sawyer: (teeth clenched) And why should I trust you?

Ben: I’m here to help you, James.

Jin: Do not trust him. He evil man.

Sawyer: How? How can I bring her back?

Ben: Isn’t it obvious? You have to die.

[Fwoooooomp]

Kate in a hotel room. She wakes up, someone’s knocking on the door. She gets up and opens the door. Sawyer is there.

Kate: Sawyer? What are you… How did you?

Sawyer: You need to come back.

Kate: What? But why?

Sawyer: You have to come back!

She wakes up for real, takes Aaron and leaves.

(Ben, Eloise, Jack, Desmond, Sun)
Los Angeles at the church

Kate comes in.

Jack: Kate.

Sun: Where’s Aaron?

Kate: Somewhere safe. What’s going on?

Jack: We’re going back to the Island.

Hurley and Sayid come in. They all look at them in surprise.

Hurley: Hey guys. Surprise.

Sayid: I am only here for Hurley. (He gives Ben a death glare.)

Locke walks in.

Hurley: Whoa. Dude. I thought you were dead.

Locke: I thought I was too, Hugo. But a nice little spider bit me. Just made me look dead. Never been better.

Hurley: Oh. (shrugs.) Whatever dude.

They all go into Eloise’s time room.

Desmond: Wait. You’re all going back?

Sun: Yes.

Desmond: Why would you want to go back?

Sun: I want my husband back. (She raises her eyebrow at him.) I think you would understand that, Desmond.

Desmond: Right. Well, you can go back to the exploding island, I’m not going back there. I’m just here to find Faraday’s mother.

Eloise: (looks up) Why?

Desmond: He says he needs her.

Eloise: (shrugs) Ah.

Jack: Why don’t you come with us?

Desmond: No. I’m leaving. You’re all crazy. (He leaves.)

Ben: (to Eloise) Are you ready?

Eloise: Yes.

Ben: Good. (he walks out. Jack is too busy feeling important to notice. Eloise follow him out of the room.)

Eloise: Aren’t you coming Ben?

Ben: I’m already there. (He walks away and Eloise goes back in the room. As Ben is walking down the aisle there is a purple flash and a fwooooomp. Ben follows Desmond to Penny’s boat.)

Ben: Hello Desmond.

Desmond turns around, but before he can say anything Ben kills him. He comes on the boat morphing into Desmond.

Desmond/Ben: We need to go.

Penny: What’s wrong?

Desmond/Ben: I saw someone following me.

Penny: What? Who?

Desmond/Ben: I don’t know. I didn’t stop to ask.

Penny and Desmond/Ben put the boat out. They are away from shore.

Penny: Desmond, do you think it was… (she turns around and Desmond has morphed into Ben.) Who are you?

Ben: I’m a friend of your father’s.

Penny: Where is Desmond?

Ben: He’s dead. I killed him.

Penny: You…

Ben shoots her, looking down at her like a crazy man. He goes over to the baby Charlie and picks him up.

Ben: Hello Widmore.

[Fwooooooomp.]

Next time…

(beach)

Miles: I am not a psychic!

Jin: I never said you were.

(Well.)

Jack: Now what?

(Cliff)

Hurley: Libby!

(Shack)

Claire: Daddy, I don’t want to go.

Christian: It’s time. You need to be strong.

Claire: Where’s Charlie?

Christian: He’s safe.