"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wednesday, How did you get here SO FAST?!

Yet another week has come and gone with the usual insanity that retail affords.

This is my last Retail Wednesday as a supervisor. I feel so strange about it!

Most of me is excited to be moving on to something new.

Part of me is absolutely terrified.

Retail is all I've known for about 12 years (crazy! Almost HALF my LIFE!) So I guess it's normal to feel a little weird about it.

But you didn't come over to hear me talk about this, you came by to laugh at stupid people!

Just because...


I passed by a chair and saw two titles that someone had been looking at together:
I'm afraid I've just witnessed the next biological attack planning session


An elderly woman came up to coworker J.

Old woman: Can you Google something for me?

J: No, I'm sorry, we don't have internet access.

Old woman: Well, how do you look books up then?

J: We can look them up by title or by author or keyword.

Old woman: Under keyword look up "diseases of the Jewish"


I was answering a question that P had when J came into the office and announced, rather breathlessly, that there was a man at the table who was writing in a book.

P went out to investigate and it turned out that he was, indeed, writing in a book. A book that he had not purchased. ONE OF OUR BOOKS.

When P questioned him about it he got annoyed and said peevishly:

"I'm going to buy it!"
Angry puppy is not amused.


I got called up to the register for a possible damage discount. A woman was purchasing an Ingles language box set. It was one of the lower end language learning sets and the flip top was opened.

M said that the customer wanted a discount because it was opened.

Woman: I checked and everything is in there.

Me: Is there anything wrong with it.

Woman: No. It's just opened. So the CDs might be scratched.

Me: (looking at the box. It doesn't look like it had those tape circles holding it closed) I'm sorry. If it has everything I can't give you a damage discount.

Woman: Well why not?

Me: Because nothing is damaged.

Woman: But the CDs might be!

Me: Well, then you would want to return it. If you would rather we can see if there is another one or order one for you.

Woman: I need it now. It's open. Why can't you give me a discount.

Me: Nothing is damaged.

Woman: I don't know that the CDs are okay.

Me: If the CDs aren't okay, then you would want to exchange it for another one.

Woman: Well, I only get down here every couple weeks so you can understand why I want the discount on this one.

Me: (no, I DON'T understand) We can order another one and ship it right to you, but I can't give you a damage discount on an item that isn't damaged.

Woman: Okay, whatever.


A woman approached me and said she was looking for a book called The Unaccomplished Earth. I looked it up, feeling like it wasn't quite the right title.
Sure enough, nothing came up. The woman didn't know the author.
I stared at the screen for a moment and then it came to me.
I asked her if she meant The Unaccustomed Earth?
The woman shook her head and said she didn't know.
I typed it in and BINGO! That was the book. She was happy, I was happy and as I walked away after delivering the book into her hands I realized, these are the moments that I will miss and that most customers take for granted. The moment when I know what the customer wants and (sometimes) pull it out of thin air. There's a satisfaction to that, to knowing that my knowledge base is broad enough that I can figure it out.

funny pictures of cats with captions

Tata Lovelies! Come back tomorrow for our (finally) announcement of our SUPER SISTER CELEBRATION!


Palindrome said...

I just noticed that when you talk about your coworkers you only use letters. Do you work with Men In Black?


SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Hannah. *wipes tears from eyes* That was the best comment pretty much ever :D

Emily said...

The other day I found the following books stacked together in the children's section:
365 Sex Positions
You're Pregnant!

Jemi Fraser said...

That Stupidity poster rocks!

People can be so bizarre - there's nothing quite like working in retail :)

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

I am totally loving the help desk sign!! :) I wonder if I can slip that into my client's contracts from now on. Hmmm...

BlackRoseofLight94 said...

I'm worried the cupcakes and diseases person might have been in cahoots with the Jewish diseases one. You never know...

If I understand correctly, you should still have interesting stories come school.

And just the fact that your life is your life.

...that is not an insult by the way.

inele: letting E know you kneel.

Summer said...

Good grief...I do NOT miss my Borders days. For realz, the weirdest folk go to book stores...

Laura Marcella said...

LOL, the guy writing in a book before he bought it. What was he thinking???

I like the last one a lot! I'm glad you found the book for that woman.

aLmYbNeNr said...

1. The AUDACITY of the annoying guy! GRR!

2. I LOVE the last one! A nice, positive one! :)

3. You will be fine. You will be MORE than fine! Because you are awesome!

Medeia Sharif said...

Strange requests. And the guy who wrote in the book: shame on him.

Falen (Sarah) said...

i don't understand why, if she thinks the cds are scratched, she would want it at all. it wouldn't work

Mia said...


Now, see, when you were talking about the guy writing in books I had this weird half-hope that could never be true but I really WANTED it to be.

I really wanted you to say he was the AUTHOR of said book and that is turned out he was sneakily signing them in a sudden fit of GENERAL NICENESS.

If my book ever hits stores, rest assured, I will be doing this. This is a LIFE GOAL for me.


~Eli~ said...