Retail Wednesday I guess

I'm kind of bummed out this week.

See, I keep a scrap of paper in my pocket that I take notes on as things happen throughout the week, because I could never remember everything when I sat down on Wednesdays. But SOMEHOW my notes got LOST on Sunday and so I just have from Monday and Tuesday and one story I remembered from before.

This is putting me in a bigger funk than it should be. Snap out of it!

Okay, let's GO!

DENSEST CUSTOMER AWARD:

A woman with her two kids comes in. We are having this Summer Reading challenge. If kids read 10 books, list it on the sheet and bring it back to the store they get to select a free book from the list on the sheet. Both of her girls have filled out the form.

Woman: (waving the sheets at me) Where are the books for this?

Me: (at the counter helping another customer. I point to the display about 7 feet away.) It's the books that are listed on the sheet. They're on both sides of that display with the banner hanging over it.

I go back to helping the customer, the woman and her daughters wander around. Pick up a couple of books from the display, put it back, enter the kids room, come back when I am free.

Woman: There are signs all over. How do we know which books they can get?

Me: The books are all on this display. (I point directly to it) They're the ones listed on the sheet.

Woman: But there are signs on all these other tables.

Me: That's just to let people know about the program.

Woman: All right.

She goes back, tells her daughters that they have to put the books they've picked back. That it's only the books on the display. They come over, browse and (I thought) selected 2 books. They wander away. A few minutes later the cashier calls me, saying someone has 2 books for the summer reading, but they aren't on the list, but the customer is telling her I said she could pick anything off of any of the 3 tables.

I sigh and walk up to the front of the store where the woman is standing there.

Me: These books aren't part of it. It was just the books on that one display.

Woman: You waved your hand toward all the tables.

Me: I said it was the ones on the 2 sides of that display and that they were listed on the sheet.

Woman: Now you're annoyed with me. You know, it's really deceiving to have signs all over. Little kids come in and think they can get any of the books where the signs are and then you tell them they can't.

Me: The signs are just to let people know the promotion is going on. That's why they're listed on the coupon.

Woman: (exaggerated sigh) Can I see the sheets again?

Me: absolutely.

Woman: You should have shown me exactly which ones they were. Those other signs should come down. (stalks back up the aisle, tells her girls they have to pick new ones again.)

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TIME WASTER AWARD:

R calls me up to the register to handle a return. A guy says he needs to return 3 GRE books. However, the receipt is from JULY.

Me: I'm sorry, we have a 30 day return policy, 60 days with the Borders Rewards card.

Man: There's no way I can return these?

Me: No, because they're also dated materials. The new editions have come out, so we can't even sell these.

Man: I can't return any of them?

Me: No, they're out of date.

Man: Well, I figured as much, but thought it was worth a try.

You are NOT welcome.

OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTER AWARD:

Our Sam's Club recently opened up a gas station. I was availing myself of their lower prices when I had a chance to see that bookstores aren't the ONLY ones to deal with dense customers.

A woman pulls up in a mini van. Gets out of the car. Looks at the pump.

Woman: This won't work!

Attendant: It will only work if you have a membership card.

Woman: I have one.

Attendant: Then it should be fine.

Woman: No, my car won't take this.

Attendant: (assumes she means diesel since it's a dual pump) No, there's another nozzle. It will work.

Woman: No, it's ethanol. My car just takes regular gas. (gestures at the 10% ethanol sticker on the pump)

Attendant: They're all like that.

Woman: All of your pumps have that?

Attendant: No ma'am, all pumps do.

Woman: No, it just takes regular gas. You don't have any regular? (her friend pulls up behind her and she hollers over to her) Does yours take this kind? (her friend is confused) My car just needs regular. All of yours are like this?

Me: (breaking in and trying to save the poor attendant) Every gas station has 10% ethanol. If you go to Exxon or Shell or wherever, they all say that.

Woman: Oh.

Attendant: (thanks me with his eyes)

CLUELESS AWARD:

A woman approaches K at the information desk with a box. She sets it on the counter with a huff.

Woman: Can you tell me how to work this thing?

K looks down. It is a still-in-the-box Kindle.

K: I'm sorry, we don't carry the Kindle so I'm not really sure how it works.

Woman: Well, there's no instructions or anything. I don't know how to work it.

K: You're going to have to go onto their website. They should have instructions there.

Woman: I don't know how to use all that stuff.

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And that's the lot for today! Don't forget to sign up for the INVASION OF THE BLOGGY SNATCHERS blogfest! It's gonna be FUN!

Also, if you haven't read it, here's my take on ZombieLuv.

Don't forget the BEA Bonanza coming (probably NEXT WEEK)

and

the SUPER SISTER CELEBRATION in AUGUST!