"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Could it be? Why yes, it is another Retail Wednesday!

And you guys probably thought that last week was a fluke. Admit it, it crossed your mind. I haven't been the most reliable bloggy friend.

*hangs head in shame*


On to the awards!


(confession - this one is mainly for my co-workers. Because we share the pain.)
We have a regular customer. He comes in multiple times a week. He has been frequenting the store since before I started working there. We all know him by name and, usually, we all walkie each other the warning that H is in the store.

There is a very long story in this person alone, but I don't want to get into all of it right now. My point is that he is a regular. Very regular. Very annoying regular.

Now that I'm beating a dead horse...
bwa haha! I can't believe the stuff that comes up on Google!
The other day he came in to order a book. This causes us to headdesk.

If someone does not have a credit card when they are ordering a book, they purchase a gift card for the amount of the order and use that to pay. It's really quite simple. Usually.

I was at the register, in the middle of a transaction when H comes up, cuts in front of a customer in line, shoves his hand (clutching a $10 and a gift card) in front of the customer I am ringing up and bellows, "I need $8.49 on here."

"I'm in the middle of ringing this customer up," I tell him. "And that gentleman was already in line."

H: But I need $8.49 on here.

Gentleman: That's all right. You can take him first. (oh, how thoughtful! I love nice customers! [no sarcasm intended here])
3 Cheers for the nice customers!
Me: Thank you. But H, I have to finish this transaction first.

Customer I'm ringing up: I'm sorry, I'm holding everyone up. (More nice customers! yeah!)

Me: (to myself. I'm in the middle of scanning your books! How is it your fault?! But thank you)

I finish the transaction, ring up H. Send him on his merry way. Ring up the nice gentleman.

J comes up to the register, brow excessively furrowed.

Me: What's wrong?

J: It needed to be $9.98 on the gift card!

Me and J: headdesk

Annoying? yes. Insurmountable? No.

Get this.

When I get off register, J and I are talking.

J: Wait, what is H's last name?

Me: Smith (not really, but... you know, anonymity and all that)

J: Are you serious?

Me: Yes, I'm sure.

J: For the order, he told us his last name was Brown.

This is for Hannah
Even The Picard feels our pain


A woman and her daughter accosted me and J in the aisle. J is sitting on a stool with piles of books around her, busily alphabetizing. I am standing next to her, asking her a question. The woman addresses...

Why certainly I can help you.
As you can see, I'm not busy or anything.

Woman: Where are the horse books?

Me: (pointedly) I'll show you the section. It's right back here.

Woman: (huffs in annoyance, but follows me)

Me: Are you looking for anything in particular?

Woman: Just a book about horses. (points at Dog Breeds for Dummies) Something like that! But for horses.

Me: (looking over the shelves) We don't seem to have the horse one in stock. We could see about ordering it. Here are a few other books. (Pull out other informational books on horses) A lot of what we have here are like biography type books.

Woman: I need something with stupid questions about horses.

I have no words. See you next week for more bookland fun!


Raquel Byrnes said...

I missed these! As a former bookstore employee, I totally crack up when I read these. So glad to have them back!

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

I'm with Raquel. It makes me miss, just a tiny bit, working in a bookstore. but only a bit

aLmYbNeNr said...

It sounds like H needs to be banned. For realz. And the lady...she needs to be slapped. And then she needs to get on Google and Wikipedia to look up "stupid horse questions".

Rebecca T. said...

@Raquel: Glad to see you! Glad to make you laugh!

@Sarah: Yeah, when I eventually leave I'm going to miss/totally not miss it.

@aLmYbNeNr: I was just so stumped! What did she mean?!

Dangerous With a Pen said...


Always a joy. :D

Melissa said...

Oh man... this is too funny

Darby Karchut said...

I'm still laughing over this blog. And the picture of Picard is priceless!

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh my word, you come across some strange people where you work!! Totally cracked up at that last one. that must have had you scratching you head. what a weird thing to ask for!

Thanks for putting my giveaway in your sidebar!

Arlee Bird said...

Those are some incredible stories that don't surprise me at all. Some people sure can outdo others in strangeness.

In case you haven't seen it yet, we are doing another A to Z Blogging Challenge. Do you want to do it again? See link below.

Tossing It Out and the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2011

Blam said...

"For the order, he told us his last name was Brown."


Um, I mean, Oy. That's not funny at all.

Let me guess: He wanted Silly Bandz shaped like the Brothers Karmazov. [Callback!]