"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" ~ C. S. Lewis

Friday, August 19, 2011

Rebecca and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Oy. I would like to submit that yesterday be stricken from the record and never actually have happened.

My day went a little something like this...

4:35am - Alarm goes off. Groan and hit snooze button
4:44am - Alarm goes off again. Hit snooze button.
4:53am - Hit snooze button. Just this ONCE more.
5:15am - Wake up and stare in horror at the clock, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that I have to leave in 15 minutes. Wonder what happened to snooze.
5:16am - Stumble down hall and see that Naomi isn't awake either. We have to leave at the same time.
5:17am - Force contacts into eyes that don't want to open.
5:32am - Grab lunch from fridge, breathing a prayer of thanks that I packed it the night before.
5:35am - Pull out of driveway with Naomi safely strapped in passenger seat.
5:37am - Realize that if I don't eat something I will be nauseous by the time I get to work.
5:40am - Buy bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit at McDonalds
5:42am - Get on highway.
5:57am - Take exit for mall. Stare in shock at time. We're actually not late.
6:05am - try to find hot cups for the pack of hot chocolate I brought. The entire sleeve has vanished in one day.
6:06am - decide to buy mug so I can have my stinkin hot chocolate.
6:08am - begin putting up new sale signs
6:10am - realize that previous crew threw out all the signs from the night before - signs that have to be reused. Dig them out of the garbage. Cringe.

6:55am - Cheer that all the signs are done
6:56am - Realize that all of the specific price points in the entire store (Regular price $19.99, now 30% off - You pay only $13.99!) haven't been changed. Pout.
9:59am - Wonder how on earth there were so many "you pays" everywhere. Frantically try to grab the last few signs before the locusts (aka customers) descend.
10:00am - Store opens. Bring a cart of bargain books out onto floor.
10:10am - Begin straightening stacks of books to make room for more.
10:11am - liquidator informs me that I have to remove all the books I just straightened so he can put tables in their place.
10:12am - Bang head on ground.
10:40 - liquidator has brilliant idea to condense all magazines to one side to make room for bargain. (not sarcastically brilliant)
11:00 - go on lunch break
12:15 - Ask coworker to help with magazines. Hear that cashier has called out. bang head on floor.

12:45 - Ring on register.
1:15 - straighten 5 magazines
1:17 - Ring on register.
1:26 - Customer flips out and screams that an item didn't ring up according to the You Pay prince.
1:28 - Take down signs until we can figure out what happened
1:30 - Straighten 2 magazines
1:32 - Ring on register
1:33 - Another customer flips out about same item. Insists sign is still up. Contradict her.
1:35 - Check where customer directs. Find 1 sign that had been missed
1:36 - Bang head on floor.
1:45 - straighten 8 magazines
1:48 - Ring on register
1:57 - Have rude customer insist on 2 bags for his 2 books. Even after I tell him we are running low. Refrain from throwing said bag over his head.

1:59 - hear that other cashier has called out. Scream internally.
2:30 - straighten 3 magazines
2:31 - Ring on register
2:45 - Straighten 10 magazines. Thank coworker for doing my project (sincerely)
2:47 - Ring on register
3:10 - Run screaming from the building

3:15 - Naomi and I decide we need a smoothie to make everything better.
3:40 - Smoothie works for a little while.
4:43 - Almost fall asleep while trying to order 5 books for classes that start in a week and a half.
6:02 - Eat dinner.
6:35 - Watch hilarious Brian Regan videos on YouTube with Dad and Mom
7:56 - Get excited that Wipeout is about to come on.
8:37 - Decide to make a milkshake for the first time in a year.
8:45 - Turn on blender. Hear horrible grinding noise. Turn off blender.
8:52 - Empty all contents out of blender. Discover that blender is broken. Die a little inside.
9:02 - Give up and whisk now melty ice cream and chocolate sauce into an iffy chocolate milk kind of thing with large Oreo cookie pieces.

9:07 - Disappointed, but okay with results.
WARNING - next part is not for the faint of heart. Seriously. If you don't want to be grossed out, don't highlight the next section. I will make it as invisible as I can. Just so you don't have to be grossed out if you don't want to be. I'll just say that I didn't get to finish my milkshake thing.
9:15 - Bite down on Oreo. Hear strange crunch in molars. Spit out on napkin and discover legs. Large ant had crawled into milkshake during blender catastrophe.
9:17 - Freak out and practically throw cup at Dad who discovers more ants in glass.
9:19 - Wash mouth out vigorously.
9:39 - Decide I need to go to sleep and make this day go away.

10:02 - Decide to write blog post to try to make myself laugh. It sorta works.

Here's to a better day tomorrow!

PS - I got all the GIFS from tumblr and I don't mean any disrespect or anything for using them. I think they're so cool and they are not mine.


Laura Marcella said...

LoL, I decided I didn't want to be grossed out since I'm currently eating breakfast as I read this so I skipped the last part. That was really kind of you to do that too!

Sorry you had such a bad day :( Hope your weekend is much better!

Elizabeth Ann said...

Just think, some time from now, that post is going to make you laugh instead of cry! I'm sorry for your crazy day. Cheers to better ones!