A Little Christmas Poem

Holy smokes! Can it really have been so long since I posted? I really shouldn't even be on here now since I have a paper to write (the last one of the semester!) but...

I have been very very sad about my Borders being closed, particularly now when I think about all the fun, craziness, angst, etc. that would be going on if we were open. It was making me all teary eyed today thinking about not spending these weeks with my Borders family. Then my manager posted on Facebook about a poem I wrote, apparently 3 years ago today, when the mall got evacuated (for no real reason as it turned out) and as we waited for hours, huddled in cars, trying to stay warm but not asphyxiate, we began composing our own version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" which I then later finished and printed up and passed around at work.

I don't THINK I've posted it here, but even if I did, I had way too much fun with it not to repost:

'Twas the Week Before Christmas
or
Evacuation: Holidays at the Galleria

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the mall
Deadly gas was a-creeping unnoticed by all.
The shoppers were shopping caught up in their cares
For in only one week Christmas day would be there.
Their children were hustled first up and then down
Unaware of the danger gathering round.
The cashiers were ringing, the booksellers selling,
Each customer wanting a book most compelling
When out in the mall there arose such a clatter
Larry called from upstairs to see what was the matter.


Away to the phone Danielle flew with a squeak
But there was no security with whom we could speak.
Our emergency box went from yellow to red.
"Evacuate the store" was all that it said.
With a breath and calm voice Danielle gave the report,
"The mall has announced we must all leave the store."
Customers were waiting with books in their hands
And the call to get out only heightened their demands.
Much slower than inchworms the customers moved
And making them leave very difficult proved.
"I just need the bathroom." "Can I buy this book?"
"How 'bout some coffee?" "My bag someone took."
From the back of the store to the front they delayed.
"We have to get out! Leave the store! Go Away!"


Like obstinate children the customers balked
As we nudged and we prodded and forced them to walk.
So out of the building we went to the cold
And gathered at lightpost D6 like we're told.
And then on the schedule that Jessica brought
She counted to see we were all in the lot.
As we noticed that Larry was not to be found
Through the cars, cross the lot Larry came with a bound.
And then we called Kevin to tell him the news.
"Are you joking?" he said. "Oh, what money we'll lose."
"Will they let us back in?" Charles wanted to know.
"I don't have my keys. I have no where to go."
We gathered in cars all lined up in a row
And turned up the heat as we warmed all our toes.


We turned on the walkies to talk in between
But then someone decided that "Rudolph" they'd sing.
(Inspired, no doubt, by the antlers and nose
On Melanie's car - at least, so I suppose)
We had a long wait, Danielle wanted to leave.
"My shift ended at seven, it's ten past I believe."
Brian's car was all fogged since the windows were closed
And we laughed and we warned against starting to doze.
"Oh, but carbon monoxide's a good way to die."
"Then we won't have to pay you," said Bill and said I.
"My managers are mean," Brian cried to the crew.
"You're just figuring that out? Oh, that's right, you are new."


"T-Mobile says we will be closed for the night."
Wayne delivered the news, but T-Mobile wasn't right.
We sprang to the mall as they opened the doors.
"If you work here, then you may return to your stores."
So with all the debris left from customer's flight
Merry Christmas to all, we've reopened tonight.