Retail. Wednesday.

You know, titling these posts are the hardest part of writing them I think.

Anyhoo. The crazies all crawled out of their homes and spent their week at the book store so I have so many stories I can't even share them all today!

Jerk Face Award:
While I was helping a customer, an older man came up near the desk, but he was quite intent on his phone conversation and wasn't very close to the counter, so I assumed he was just standing there like so many people do. When I finished with my customer I looked at him trying to gauge whether he was waiting or just talking and he completely avoided all eye contact and sort of had his body turned away, so I started working on reshelving some books.
I had come back and forth a couple of times, each time pausing to see if he was done or was waiting and each time he avoided any interaction. The third or fourth time I came back he had moved up to the counter, but was still very intent on his phone conversation and never even looked up.

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So I took another couple books to put away. When I came back he raised his hand to catch my attention.

Without ever looking up, meeting my eyes, acknowledging my existence, or pausing his phone conversation for even a nano-second, the man sets a folded newspaper on the counter and taps it imperiously. I walked over and he tapped it again, pointing emphatically at a book title in a review. Again, this is done without looking at me or breaking his (social) phone call in any way.
This is close to the end of a rather long and arduous shift. And I was so irritated that I couldn't even say or do anything. I just wanted him to go away, so I looked up the book, spoke to him as though he were not ignoring me or on the phone and got the book for him. I set it on the counter and turned away.
But no.

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It only LOOKS like I might someday acknowledge you

He set another folded paper down and thumps another book title. Still laughing and chatting with whomever is on the other end of the phone. Still without looking at me or acting with any kind of courtesy. I am now so irritated I really can't say anything or it could have been very very bad. (e.g. Oh no, I'll wait until you're done on the phone, because that's obviously very important. I'll help you when you've finished your conversation, I wouldn't want to be rude. etc.) I go to get the second book and as I walk past the magazine rack my hand somehow grazed the edge and one of my rings caught and pulled so hard I actually thought it broke through the skin on my finger. So I grabbed the book, hurried back toward the desk and literally threw it on the counter in front of him before dashing to the bathroom to run cold water over my finger. And I didn't care one tiny bit if he thought that was rude.


Picky Picky Award*:
One of my coworkers, L, was in the kid's department.
Woman: Could you help me find something for my granddaughter. She's 11, but she's an advanced reader.
L: No problem. My sister just turned 12, so I should be able to give you some good suggestions. She really liked this Judy Moody book.
Woman: Oh, no. I wouldn't want to suggest anything.
L: How about Beverly Cleary? My sister really likes those.
Woman: (with disdain) My granddaughter is a VERY advanced reader.
L: (so is my sister grrrrr)
Woman: Have you read Charlotte's Web?
L: Of course I have!
Woman: DID YOU CRY?
L: Yes.
Woman: What else do you suggest?
L (wait, what? Why did you ask about Charlotte's Web? now has no idea what else to suggest so she asks another girl, R, if she has any suggestions) (*I was told of this encounter by L later and know I am leaving out a couple of other book suggestions, so this was dragged out much longer)
R: The Tale of Despereaux is really good.
L: Oh, yes. I loved that book!
Woman: (looks at book. Looks between L and R and then back at the book) You both read this?
R and L: Yes.
Woman: Really?
R and L: Yes. It was a good book.

Woman: (scoffs as though she can't believe they would read such childish books)

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R and L: (grrrrrrrrrr)


Private Amusement Award:
We have hand held scanners at the store and shortly before I started working there people decided to start naming them. It makes me smile every time I see one. And I even got to name one myself.
We have:
Mrs. O'Leary (this one is usually used by the kids' leads and is from the Percy Jackson series)
Rainbow Dash
Ishmael
Misha Collins (S is rather um, shall we say, obsessed with Supernatural :)
And my contribution: Michael Emerson (which is #4, of course - one of the numbers. This also helped me identify a fellow Lostie and Person of Interest lover, though we end up fighting over who gets this scanner :)

Most Annoying Award:
I was walking down the aisle when a customer accosted me.
Lady: Excuse me.
Me: Yes?
Lady: Can you turn down whatever this "wrawawhrawawrahwa" is? (this, btw, was a really horrible mockery of the music that was playing on the overhead.)
Me: I'm sorry?
Lady: This music is loud and very annoying. I can't even concentrate on my book. (holds up book and shakes it at me)
Me: I'm sorry, but no. I can't do anything about the music.
Lady: This is really annoying. I'm about ready to leave. And when I leave I'm going to be thinking "that bookstore is annoying" and I don't think that's what you want.
Me: The overhead music is sent to us and we have to play it.
Lady: That is very disturbing. Especially for a reading establishment.
Me: (looking her square in the eyes) Ma'am, this is a shopping establishment.
Lady: But this music is so loud. There are way more people walking around looking to buy books than are looking to buy music.
Me: (it really isn't that loud). If you go into any store they will have music playing on the overhead. There is nothing I can do about it.
Lady: Well at least turn it down. This is very rude.

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Me: I can talk to a manager, but I'm pretty sure there is nothing we can do.
Lady: YOU AREN'T A MANAGER?!?!?!?!?!
Me: No.
Lady: Well, you do that then. (huffs and marches away)
So I went up to where we have the volume control to see where it was set before I bothered a manager. The volume dial was at 2. So I went back to the customer.
Me: I'm sorry, the volume is turned down as low as it can go. We can't turn it lower because it's connected to the paging system and if we turn it down further pages won't be audible.
Lady: Well, this is extremely annoying. I'm about ready to leave. Thanks for checking I guess. (stays in the store for another half an hour.)


Overheard Award:
I was up at the register when a woman walked by on the phone. I only heard one line of her conversation, but it was so startling I had to share it:

"She's just got to clear her head, you know? I mean, the body's in the morgue now and...." o_0

That's it for this week! See you next Wednesday :D
*and bonus points for you if you caught the Beverly Cleary pun I made there. Yes, it is lame, but I have to get my chuckles somewhere :)