Please ignore my lame title. tyvm.
Yeah! Another week has passed and more crazy people have visited my store. Without further ado the awards!
Phone Freak Award:
I answered the phone and a woman was on the line.
Woman: Hi, I was wondering if you could find some books for me. I'm looking for books on angels, but from a biblical perspective. I already ordered a book before from you guys and now I'm looking for something else.
Me: Do you have any titles or authors you're looking for?
Woman: No, I just wanted you to do a general search and let me know what you have.
Me: Well, when I put in "angels" as a search term I get a lot of results.
Woman: I don't want any that are like New Age or anything. Only something from a biblical perspective.
Me: I can only sort it so much. Even when I do limit it I still have a lot of results.
Woman: Well can you read me the titles that come up?
Me: (as I look at the 2 people waiting at the counter for me to help them.) I can list a couple, but we'd have to order pretty much everything. I'm not showing much of anything here in the store.
Woman: Well, that's okay. If it sounds good you can order it and I'll come pick it up.
Me: (grumble mumble you've got to be kidding me) Well, there's this book by so-and-so and this book by this-guy and such-and-such by...
Woman: Wait, wait, wait. Go back to that first one. What was it again?
Woman: Is there a description? What is that one about?
Me: (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... pull up description. Read abbreviated description)
Woman: Oh. That sounds interesting. What was that second one? Does that one have a description?
Me: (read abbreviated description)
Woman: What other books were there?
Me: (HAS IT) I'm sorry, ma'am, but I have other customers waiting for me. If you don't have specific titles in mind then I would suggest you do an internet search on your own and get some titles or authors that we can look up.
Woman: Oh, I don't have a computer.
Me: Well, you said that first book sounded good. I can order that one for you and when you come to pick it up you can work with someone in the store to find a couple other titles. It's really hard to do this over the phone when you can't see anything. And I have several other customers here that are waiting to be helped.
Woman: Well, I suppose you could order that first one.
Me: (orders it) Thank you and have a nice day. (bangs head on counter)
I walked up to the customer service desk and a woman was standing in front of it. She was turned slightly away from the counter listening to her son. There was a pause and so I smiled at her and asked, "Is there anything I can help you with."
In slow motion she turned her head to look at me with an expression of almost disdain. It was very strange and then she slowly turned her head back to her son, never changing her expression. No nod, no shake of the head, no acknowledgement whatsoever to my question. Just a slow head turn as though surprised that someone should dare to speak to her. Weird.
I had just finished helping a customer and was heading back toward customer service when a young woman in the New Age department flagged me down.
YW: Can you help me find something?
Me: (no, I am not allowed to help customers. They must wander aimlessly through the store never finding their books) Sure.
YW: I am looking for books on sign language and I don't even know where to start. (gestures around the store)
Me: Sign language books are over with the languages.
YW: (with bewilderment) Really?!
A lady came up to the desk and asked for help finding a book she needed to get for a friend.
Lady: It's called The Woman Without a Face
Me: Sorry, nothing is coming up under that. Do you know the author?
Lady: No, I don't. I was pretty sure it was The Woman Without a Face.
Me: I'm not seeing anything.
Lady: Try The Woman With a Face.
Me: No. There is a book called The Autobiography of a Face.
Lady: No, that's definitely not it. Let me call my friend.
Me: Okay (She is being very pleasant and no one else is waiting for help, so I don't mind)
Lady: Try The Faceless Woman? (to friend) Do you know the author?
Lady: Well, see if 9/11 hoax brings anything up. Because that's what it's about.
Me: ???? Okay. (start to type it in)
Lady: WAIT! It's The Woman Who Wasn't There! (starts cracking up with her friend on the phone) So the woman had a face but she wasn't there! (laughs hysterically)
Me: (laughing a little because her laugh is infectious) That book we might have.
That's it for this week!